1. A boss said: Whoever dares to jump into the crocodile pool and come ashore alive will be rewarded with 1 million. Dead to 5 million. No one dared to jump. Suddenly, there was a "thud" and a person jumped into the pool

1. A boss said: Whoever dares to jump into the crocodile pool and come ashore alive will be rewarded with 1 million. Dead to 5 million. No one dared to jump. Suddenly, there was a "thud" sound, and a person jumped into the pool. Only to see him being chased by crocodiles swimming fast, pale, desperately swimming on the other side, after taking 1 million, he was furious: Who pushed Lao Tzu down? His wife smiled and said, "It's me." So then there was the phrase "Behind every successful man, there is a good woman". At the critical moment, I can push you

2. The old man is an associate professor at a 985 university with a monthly salary of 65,000 yuan.

The results of that exam came out, and the whole class failed.

The old man was particularly angry and shouted on the podium: "The judgment question is 50 points, but some people only score 10 points, 20 points?" I only took 10 to 20 points and stood up for me and copied the roll ten times! ”

At this time, a classmate sighed: "It's too dangerous, I am 21 points." ”

Then, the next brother also sighed quietly: "My riskier, fortunately only 9 points." ”

3. After the in-laws retire, they have nothing to do, and they often look for various free cool places. On this day, I went to attend a health knowledge lecture, heard that gifts were distributed, and the two mouths counted one, and one person went alone. To the in-laws and mother-in-law, they gave a pillow, and the mother-in-law felt that it was very good and wanted another one. Say to the staff: I am not two sons with him, you see we are not a surname! The staff listened to the reasoning and gave another ...

4. After retiring from the State Grid, the old man used his pension to buy us a house in Tomson Yipin icon. This house is very big, so I borrowed both my mother-in-law and my father-in-law. Some time ago, my mother-in-law said that she wanted to change her mobile phone, and I also wanted to change a new mobile phone to go with me. On the same day, a brand pushed a couple's mobile phone, and the boss said that if the couple came together, they would enjoy the price discount. My mother-in-law took my arm by the chance, until we finished paying and we both held hands and pretended to be lovers and walked out of the store. When I went out, I bumped into a brother head-on, and I didn't expect that this little brother who had almost grown up in my house before would never come again, was there something wrong?

5. Ever since I lost 50 million yuan in demolition, I have been staying at home and doing nothing. Then I got bored, so I got a job out there. On this day, I was at work, and I was addicted to smoking, so I squatted in the corner of the toilet and secretly smoked. Just after taking a sip, a strange female supervisor came over. Seeing that some employees smoked, the female supervisor walked over and denounced: "The company can't smoke, do you smoke the boss knows?" I was not afraid at all, and immediately retorted: "You talk to strange men at will, does your husband agree?" ”

6. After work at the construction site, I went to the ramen restaurant to eat noodles, divided into large bowls and small bowls, and the boss pushed!! Recommend me for a small bowl. Based on a clear understanding of the amount of my meal, I insisted on a large bowl, and the boss was particularly surprised to see that I had finished eating. The second time I went to eat, the boss was happy to see me: come to a big bowl? The loud voice provoked the people in the store to look at me, and I resisted the pressure and whispered: A big bowl, a small bowl, last time... Didn't eat enough.

7. During the National Day holiday, I played mahjong with my boss with a few colleagues, and the boss said: Everything in the company is ready, right? Me: Well, it's all done, East Wind! The boss said: Hey, touch, I tell you ah, I commanded the things, can not know less, no? Me: Uh-huh, nine! Boss: Oops, I'll touch it again! As a result, after the holiday, my brother went to work one day, and I was promoted to department manager because I stepped into the company door with my left foot!

8. Two days ago, I was on the street with a buddy and saw a beautiful woman with a perfect back. So I took a photo and sent it to the circle of friends and said, "Ten likes, I will go up and ask for a V letter." "Less than five minutes after the release, ten likes immediately had it, and it seems that friends are still very powerful." At this time, I said to the buddies next to me, "Who are we going to ask?" Who's the question! "This buddy didn't rob me, pushed me up, who knew that this beautiful woman turned around and startled me!" They all say that it is a shadow killer, but this key is a man? Let me do it!

9. Whoever can dry this bottle of wine in one go, I immediately give 50,000 yuan in cash! Xiao Li said, "Then I can." She took the wine and dried it! The hostess counted 50,000 pieces from the LV bag on the spot and handed it to her! This is a scene at the company's Chinese New Year's Eve dinner last year, the boss and the lady are all from sales, and the company culture is the best way to drink. The hostess was happy at the time, not only sent a lot of red envelopes, but also said who can dry in one breath, just give 50,000, did not expect that the men present were not silent, a thin little girl stood up and said: I can. At that time, we were all stunned, she really dried up in one breath, instantly blushed to the neck, the hostess was also stunned, directly from the LV bag counted 50,000 cash to her!

10. I work for a real estate company for fifteen years, and I'm still a clerk.

Our company has a rule that we must keep salaries confidential and cannot be publicized everywhere.

Today is the day of the payroll, and colleagues all go to the personnel department to print the salary list.

The front desk girl asked me: "Don't you go to fight?" ”

Me: "Fifteen years, I've never played." ”

The front desk girl was puzzled: "Why?" ”

Me: "If I accidentally lose it after I type it out, doesn't the whole company know that I only get 80,000 yuan of salary every month, and I don't lose it?" "#Funny#Funny#Funny#Funny#funny##治愈不开心#funny# #