1, accidentally bumped into the chest of a beautiful woman, I did not care, turned to leave, but she was angry, pulled me and asked me to apologize. I said I had never apologized in my life, to you and me

1, accidentally bumped into the chest of a beautiful woman, I did not care, turned to leave, but she was angry, pulled me and asked me to apologize. I said that I have never apologized in my life, and I can't make an exception for you, although you are beautiful, your figure is good, your temperament is outstanding, and your dress also amazes me, but I will never apologize to you. She said fiercely, slippery tongue, you bumped into me and want to leave, that is impossible, you don't apologize, I will not let you go. I sighed, threw a bank card to her, and proudly said, there are three hundred thousand in it, you take it. She was pleasantly surprised to be my girlfriend, I quickly got rid of her, joking, there are only two cents in the bank card, I dare not continue to tangle with her!

2. When I was a child, my family was poor, and I could only sleep with my parents and mother, but I didn't have honesty when I slept, and I always flipped up and down. Once, I accidentally flipped under the window, because I was afraid of being scolded, I didn't dare to say anything, and then I heard my mother say: "Bright as if it fell out of the window, you wrap him up, right?" My dad said, "You're so close, why don't you wrap up?" And you see he slept so soundly, it is not good to wake up again! My mom said, "Well, you're right, it hurts to roll up and roll it down, so let him sleep underneath!" ”

3) I have a friend who recently talked about a girlfriend of 5 years and ran away with a guy who drove Bugatti because of the money. One day my friend called his ex-girlfriend after drinking too much, and the call was answered by the ex-girlfriend's current boyfriend! My friend instructed him: "She has a bad stomach, drink a bowl of porridge every morning, and remember to boil ginger juice for her in the evening." The man said dismissively, "I spent a million to cure her!" ”

4, the big-mouthed girl in our company actually came together with the buddies who love to play small reports. The two progressed rapidly, and in less than a month they directly flashed marriage. Unfortunately, it didn't take long for the buddies to regret it and said to the sister: You have such a big mouth, and you always say bad things about others every day, I can't stand you. Big-mouthed girl: I love to say bad things about others, but you can't tell people whose bad things I say here, you can give people a message, how do you let me go out to meet people in the future! "

5, the company came a young and beautiful colleague, made an appointment many times, she finally agreed to eat together. On the day of the appointment, I was very excited, but when I sat down, I hesitated: would I sit across from her, or would I sit next to her? Just when I was hesitating, my colleague looked up and said: You sit next to me and eat. I was ecstatic to hear this, and I was about to take a seat. However, her next sentence came up: You sit across from me and I'm afraid I won't be able to eat.

6. A college student, after graduation, spent 500,000 yuan and created 1 million counterfeit money. Then happily went to KFC for dinner and ate a big meal. At checkout, the front desk said: Sir, a total of 500 yuan. Then the college student pulled out a banknote worth ten thousand. The cashier looked at it and said: "We are not the people of the world, you better go down and try it!"

7, call your girlfriend in the evening to report in advance: Ya, colleague invited me to drink, thank you for taking care of her at work. The fat guy asked: Female? Me: Man, don't worry, I don't drink much, his family lives in the neighborhood next door. Fat Guy: No, if it's a woman, I'm a little relieved, after all, you look so safe, I'm not safe for a man to come to you.?

8. Rented a Maybach with Alipay Huabei and went to a class reunion. The hotel is in a place I often go to, and I am very familiar with the owner. Just sat down, the boss came over to say hello, smiled and asked me: "Didn't you bring your wife with you today??" Just after saying that, a female classmate suddenly got angry, slapped the table and shouted: "The old woman is his wife!" Who is that woman? The boss was a little panicked at that time, and he was particularly embarrassed to go out to prepare the dish. I was embarrassed to ask the female classmates why they were making such jokes, and the female classmates said, "Just wait for the discount!" I was still a little puzzled, after eating the checkout, the boss saw me, very apologetic and said: "I really don't know what you brought before it was someone else, go back to explain it to your sister-in-law, just say that I recognized the wrong person, this meal counts as my guest, I am really sorry ah!" ”?

9, in the morning to go to the market to buy vegetables, weighed a pound of river shrimp, the boss skillfully filled the bag and threw it on the electronic scale. I shouted: Slow! He said and pulled out a 500ml bottle of mineral water. Unexpectedly, the stall owner also reacted to God, and immediately picked up the bag and said: Just remembered, this scale was just broken yesterday, come and I will take you to the opposite side to weigh it. And then I walked away without looking back!。。。。。

10. I am a manager in a company in Beijing, with a monthly salary of 50,000 yuan, but buying a house is delusional. Rented a two-story house and I live upstairs. Today, downstairs smoking on the balcony, I can't breathe. I scolded downstairs, and downstairs said: Sunshine incense burner produces purple smoke. I immediately took a basin of foot wash water and poured it down, saying: Look at the waterfall hanging on the front river! ?

11. Go to dinner after work in the evening, suddenly urinate urgently want to go to the toilet, and are afraid that the meal will be taken away by the waiter. Then I saw a sign that said 'Single dogs leave for a while, please do not accept meals'. I was overjoyed, and then I took it and put it on the table, thinking that the owner of this shop was also too sweet! When I came back, I saw a cute little girl of four or five years old stuffing my bowl with the chicken bones she had eaten...

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #