1, the first time to take the boyfriend home, the mother is very happy... After dinner, the boyfriend is gone... My mother calmly gave me a mouth and scolded: "I am anxious to let you have a man."

1, the first time to take the boyfriend home, the mother is very happy... After dinner, the boyfriend is gone... My mother calmly gave me a mouth and scolded: "I was anxious to let you have a boyfriend, but I didn't let you rent a boyfriend to go home!" I was surprised and said, "How do you see that?" The old mother scolded: "I told him that you have to prepare a million dowry money to marry my daughter, are you willing?" Without even thinking about it, he said, no problem! Do you say he's blind, or am I stupid..."I"..."

2. Today, my buddies came to me and said that they had a strange girl. I said what a strange thing. Dude: The blind date said that the house should be bought near her unit, not less than 90 square meters, and should be able to accept her parents coming to live regularly. I said: This is not strange, have you accepted it? Dude: I accepted, I told her that if the other half can give this, what can you give for the other party? She said that feelings cannot be calculated.

3. After a month of internship in a state-owned enterprise, the female boss who chased me was promoted to the position of manager of the personnel department. A new intern in the department insists on wearing a backless suit to work every day. I was curious, so I asked her, "Why do you always wear so little?" "Cut, it's not, don't be fooled." She said shyly, "I am for Wang Zong, not He Zong..." I: "..."

4, met a silly boy, do not know how to fall in love, the first time they met on the beaten, XiaoWan downstairs came a new neighbor, a very beautiful little girl, in the evening they met. Xiao Wan said to the girl: You have a lip print on your face! The girl quickly took out the small mirror: I look .... Nothing? Xiao Wan took the opportunity to kiss her: now there is. The girl was stunned for two seconds, then smiled: You have a slap mark on your face! Xiao Wan.....?

5. Worked in the electronics factory for 5 years, saved 180,000 yuan, and bought a Changan 75plus with full payment. Today, my wife was driving out on an errand. It didn't take long to come back, and I asked, "How did you come back so quickly, the car broke down?" The wife said, "Yes, the engine is in the water." Curious, I asked, "How can the engine get water?" The car was there, and I went to see it. The wife timidly told the truth: "Just now I accidentally drove into the ditch." ”

6. When I was a child, I watched a lot of spy movies and always wanted to have a toy gun of my own. After my father bought it for me, he would imitate the plot himself. Felt particularly handsome! Once, when the flag was raised on Monday, the girl in front of me suddenly fainted from low blood sugar. I instantly fell to the ground shouting that there were snipers, and a group of people all fell down. At that moment, I became the most important person in the whole school, and the principal still remembers me. Three years on, my legend still lives on in the school.

7. Yesterday, my sister-in-law went online to buy a pair of shoes. The sister-in-law saw a good pair and sent a picture to her brother to ask for his brother's opinion. After a few minutes, the brother replied: "This woman's facial features are quite good-looking, and her figure can be said to be good, but there are too many deliberate traces..." The sister-in-law was immediately angry: "I let you see the shoes!" After a few minutes, my brother replied, "I also commented on her shoes!" The sister-in-law said, "..."

8. After Kuroko's driver's license was just in hand, the coach said: Kuroko, come and tell you something. Kuroko said, "What's the matter?" The coach said: When you were learning to drive, I often scolded you for being good for you! Kuroko said: I know. The coach said: I heard you have bought a new car. Kuroko said: Yes. The coach said: What is your license plate number, leave it to me! Kuroko said, "What do you want to do?" The coach said: I will hide a little when I meet later.?

9, drinking in the middle of the night home, into the room to see the wife and the next door Lao Wang in bed, suddenly angry, grabbed two dogs men and women is a beating, beaten up a little, look at the side, I leaned, into the wrong door, quickly apologized to the old king and his wife, said that drinking high into the wrong home, Lao Wang grabbed him neckline: "You fucking entered the wrong door I can understand, but you don't have a wife you don't know yourself?" The husband and wife quarreled at home, and the wife got angry and said to the husband, "I want to divorce you, but it's over!" The husband got angry: "No." Wife: "Why not!" At this time, the 3-year-old son was holding a bun in his hand, slowly nibbling with his small mouth, and he saw his father and mother arguing, and he cried when he nibbled. The husband looked at his wife and pointed to the bun in his son's hand: "Just like this bun, if you have taken a bite, will you sell the bun for you?" Wife: "How can this be the same?" The husband continued: "Just like the buns in the store, you originally wanted to buy meat buns, but the boss took the wrong one, gave you the vegetable packets, the money was paid, you took a bite when you went home and found that it was a vegetable bun, did you throw it away?" If you can eat it, just eat it. The wife was helpless: "Oh. ”

10, the girlfriend is happy and accustomed, after having a child, she becomes irritable and depressed, and can't sleep all day. The doctor of the clinic advised her: "Because of your child, you are always worried and in a bad mood, I will prescribe you some tranquilizers, don't worry too much about your child, he will understand things slowly." About a month later, the clinic doctor met his girlfriend again. The doctor asked, "How did you take the medicine?" The girlfriend replied, "Well, it works very well." The doctor then asked, "What about your children, is there any progress?" Girlfriend: "Who cares about him, who cares who cares?" ”

11. Some time ago, I went to the town to run errands. Hungry at noon, I went to eat at the noodle shop downstairs where I used to work. It turned out that there was a strange man in the store, busy greeting customers, and finally checking out. I asked: I haven't been here for a few months, and your shop has changed owners? The strange man just snorted softly. I said again: But the taste of the noodles has not changed, it is the same as the original! The strange man said shyly: The boss changed to me, but the boss lady did not change!

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #