The old saying: "The son-in-law should not go to the grave, and go to the grave to insult the ancestors", why is it? Makes sense
Son-in-law is also an outsider?
The so-called "son-in-law should not go to the grave, go to the grave to insult the ancestors." Many people may feel very strange when they see this sentence for the first time. After all, people have married their own daughters, how can they be regarded as relatives, and they have to call their fathers every New Year's Festival. How did it end up that the old man passed and did not allow people to go to the grave? Also charged people with insulting their ancestors?
This has to start with the marriage system on the mainland. In the ancient society where men were superior to women, the status of women was inherently low, and "the daughter who married out is the water that is spilled" is the consensus of many families.
Therefore, on this basis, many families do not consider their son-in-law to be their own family according to this truth. Your husband and wife go to live the days of their in-laws, the people in my family have passed away, the daughter is also a piece of flesh and bones, even if you come to the grave, one of your sons-in-law is not related to our family, why do you come to join this hilarity?
But it's a little strange to say that. As the saying goes, a son-in-law is half a child, and no matter how the son-in-law is an outsider, he even marries his own daughter. Since their daughters and relatives and friends can come to the grave to pay their respects, it is even more unreasonable to say that the son-in-law who has a more one-level relationship cannot go to the grave, right?
This raises a question of self-esteem.
Inheritance of family property
Although there are many examples of fathers in ancient times who loved their own Miss Qianjin, there is no doubt that in that feudal society where men were superior to women, most families were more inclined to let boys inherit the family business. After all, at that time, men were responsible for farm work and officials, and they received more education and had more ideas.
If there is only a daughter, then after the second hundred years of his family, the great family property is handed over to the married daughter, which is equivalent to the family property being inherited by the son-in-law's family.
Therefore, in their view, the son-in-law's grave sacrifice means that the family has disappeared, and the inheritance must be given to the son-in-law's family, which is tantamount to personally cutting off the inheritance of the ancestors and handing over the inheritance of the ancestors to others. The so-called "son-in-law went to the grave to insult the ancestors" is exactly what it means.
Some of the more famous large families will also repair family trees and establish ancestral halls. And the ranking of these clans is basically a surname, even if the woman who marries over must be given her own family name. Just like the second young grandmother in the TV series "The Gate of the Big House", even if she holds the right to run the family, her name is still "Bai Wenshi". After death, he also entered the Bai Family Ancestral Hall instead of the Main Family.
Of course, there are some more powerful families who also have their own way of dealing with the issue of inheritance, that is, recruiting a son-in-law, who has a child, and does not enter the clan of the man's family, but into the woman's family. In this way, it is guaranteed that the legacy of the ancestors can be firmly controlled in their own hands.
This thinking is very similar to that of the chaebols of modern Japan. The heads of Japan's big businesses generally like to have daughters, and then recruit a virtuous son-in-law through their daughters, let him preside over the work, and when they are over, they will hand over the family business to their daughters and sons-in-law. In their words, if you give birth to a boy, you can only get one talent. But having a daughter gets two talents.
Door-to-door son-in-law also has difficulties
But the son-in-law who inserts the door upside down can go to the grave? I'm afraid it's not that easy.
After all, the man is willing to be a door-to-door son-in-law, and it is true that the woman's family is satisfied, but the man's family is not easy to say.
As we mentioned above, a family with painstaking efforts to feed a young man to grow up, is not the picture of him to become a person, build a meritorious tree industry, inherit the family business in the future, become bigger and stronger, create brilliance again, and fight for the ancestors? As a result, this inverted door can be poured well, all cheap women's home, what can the man's family do?
Therefore, the door-to-door son-in-law can indeed go to the woman's home to go to the grave, but can he still go to his own family to pay homage to the ancestors? That's not easy to say.
In ancient mainland china, the actual status of the door-to-door son-in-law was actually quite low, and the Qin and Han dynasties were basically equivalent to the slaves of the woman's family. When Qin Shi Huang sent troops to recruit the Xiongnu, he incorporated his son-in-law and prisoners into the army, so it can be seen that even basic human rights cannot be guaranteed.
Of course, with the changes of the historical era, the status of the door-to-door son-in-law is indeed constantly improving. At first, the children of the son-in-law could only follow the woman's surname, and in the Ming and Qing dynasties, the second son of the son-in-law could take his surname. In addition, there are also door-to-door son-in-law who can move out with the woman.
But in any case, the embarrassing position of the door-to-door son-in-law was always unavoidable in ancient times. Therefore, when a son-in-law goes to the grave to sacrifice his ancestors, he will always offend the minds of some people who love to chew the root of their tongues. At that time, people were worried that the spirits of the ancestors in heaven would blame them, and they generally held the mentality of doing less and making fewer mistakes, and tried to avoid going to the son-in-law to worship the ancestors.
Is there still a need for this system to be retained?
In fact, the so-called son-in-law came to the door to insult the ancestors, even in ancient times, it was not a very widespread custom. In many places, in the festival sweeping and sacrifice activities, the son-in-law can appear and participate in it.
After the founding of New China, the party and the government actively implemented the policy of equality between men and women, and labor was the most glorious, and there was no distinction between men and women. At the same time, it also vigorously swept away the very old and ancient system of clan patriarchy, which was full of feudal shackles.
The idea of a portal distinction has also been corrected, with men and women advocating free love. In the field of thought, various materialist educations have also been fully rolled out, and funerals have changed from earth burials to more civilized cremation.
Swept by such a powerful storm of modern advanced ideas, many of China's ignorant and superstitious rules have been broken. The huge clan system disintegrated, and all that was liberated were small families that were self-sufficient. Neither women nor men are appendages of a family. The daughter and son-in-law are no longer inside and outside, and are already children in common with the two families.
