1, the first time I slept with my boyfriend, I hid in the bed and did not dare to come out. My boyfriend saw that I was unwilling and embarrassed to force me, so we fell asleep at a long distance

1, the first time I slept with my boyfriend, I hid in the bed and did not dare to come out. My boyfriend saw that I was unwilling and embarrassed to force me, so we fell asleep at a long distance. At night, suddenly the boyfriend said that this life is so short. At that time, I slipped into his arms and asked him shyly: Have you ever fought for anyone? As a result, the boyfriend came to a sentence: my stomach has been frozen for an hour, and I don't cover the quilt anymore, and I guess I really have diarrhea.?

2. You are tired of clinging to me, and I reach out to touch you, but you run away. I held out my hands to hug you, but you ran away again. Finally, I wrapped up you, and I didn't expect you to die in my arms like this. I watched as you left a gentle kiss on the back of my hand, the last gift you left me. Is it worth losing your life for this kiss? My dear mosquito!

3, the sister-in-law's boyfriend is a scumbag, driving the BMW 7 series she bought. After the sister-in-law did not have a car, she could only take the bus to work. Today in the car, the sister-in-law was squeezed into the arms of a boy. At first, the sister-in-law was not very embarrassed, but after a long time, she slowly became a habit. The sister-in-law put her head close to the boy's arms and said, "This bus has been sitting for half a month, and every time it has been squeezed into your arms, do you believe in fate?" The boy said calmly: "I don't believe in fate, I only know to rent a bus 500, more than 80 extras, 70 per person, so I only believe in money." ”

4. The father-in-law usually obeys the mother-in-law, but somehow the father-in-law does not give in this time, and now he quarrels with the mother-in-law very badly. After a while, my daughter-in-law ran over to my father-in-law and asked, "Daddy, do you want me to be a good child?" Three good students who complete their homework on time and still listen to their parents? Father-in-law: "Of course I hope, this still needs to be said!" My girlfriend: "Well, when I go out and enter the room again, you have to raise your hands for two minutes at once, and I promise you to be a good student!" Father-in-law: "Yes, this is no problem!" Only to see my girlfriend sneak out, and after a while, the father-in-law immediately raised his hands, and did not want to follow my mother-in-law, my daughter-in-law hurriedly said: "Grandma, you see that my grandfather has surrendered, you forgive him, right?" ”?

5. My sister brought her boyfriend home to see her parents during the holidays, and I was afraid of being urged to marry. Hurriedly went to rent a girlfriend back. Everyone talked happily, the rented girlfriend acted too well, and the sister and her boyfriend were also very good. It wasn't until midnight that day that I saw my rented girlfriend chatting with his future brother-in-law. The rented girlfriend said: What? Are you 200 a day? I'm only 100!

6. Fang Zhan: If you could turn into a plant, what kind of plant would you like to become? Senior Disciple: I want to become a pine tree, not afraid of wind and rain. Second disciple: I want to become a plum blossom and not be afraid of the wind and cold. Little Monk: I want to become a little grass. Fang Zhan: Why, don't you want to be as obscure as Xiaocao? Little Monk: Today you step on my head, tomorrow I will grow on your grave!

7, today to send the courier, to the community downstairs, call: "Hello, your courier arrived, please go downstairs to take it." "Excuse me, can you send it for me?" I'm not very convenient. "What's so inconvenient about you big bosses?" "That courier is a big one." "Yes, I can move, you are afraid of not moving?" "Is it written wheelchair?" "Yes." "Then guess why I bought it?" Isn't it for the sake of transportation? ”

8. My husband took anesthetics during appendicitis surgery, and as a result, he never woke up and became a vegetative person. I abandoned my husband and married his rich brother. After getting married, I had another son, and I always used the photo of my husband and children as my mobile phone screensaver. Today, my son saw it and asked me why I used his photo as a screensaver. I said, "Silly child, because the phone is in my hand every day, you are the treasure in the palm of my hand!" The husband asked very sentimentally: "I am also in the photo, am I also the treasure in the palm of your hand?" I looked at him with disgust, and then said, "You think too much, I just want you to know, you don't want to escape from the palm of my hand." ”?

9. At this time, the little girl's father also came to pick her up, the scene was once embarrassing, at this time, I first said: This family, no, this brother, I don't know what happened. The little girl's father was happy to hear me call him a family, and I said: Big brother, if you don't invite you to a drink, apologize to you. After the two of us had delivered the children, we came to the agreed place, and the two of them were drunk and rested, and jointly decided to give the two children a lifelong event. Hey hey, don't worry about your son not being able to find a daughter-in-law in the future.

10, the office recruited a handsome guy, a few days to get along, found that I like him... After all, I am also a girl, somehow gracefully showing love, after several twists and turns... This morning, I said to him: "I heard that the first child born to a boy is a mother with a high IQ, and the girl born is a father with a high IQ, do you dare to cooperate with me once, comparing IQ to IQ?" "So...

11, I have a sister who is two years younger than me, when she was young, she turned over my school bag, very seriously looked at my notes, I said with an old face: Is it completely incomprehensible. You'll be exposed to it in a few years. My sister nodded as if she understood, and then obediently asked me: Brother, can you borrow this notebook from me? When I was questioning, my sister said: My teacher said that I can't find anyone uglier than my writing, and tomorrow I will show my teacher to see if she is convinced.

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