1. The director calls his wife at night on a business trip. After chatting a few words, my wife said: "Go to bed early, I am too tired today..." The director: "How did I hear that there were other people in the house?" old

1. The director calls his wife at night on a business trip. After chatting a few words, my wife said: "Go to bed early, I am too tired today..." The director: "How did I hear that there were other people in the house?" Wife: "You are on a business trip with me alone, a little afraid, called my girlfriend Qinfei to come and accompany me, what's wrong?" Don't believe me yet, or I'll ask the piano man to talk to you twice! Director: "No, I believe you, go to bed early!" After putting down the phone, the director looked at the sleeping piano man next to him, smoked a cigarette all night, and then fell ill... This story tells us that smoking is harmful to health!

2, the father-in-law usually obeys the mother-in-law, somehow this time the father-in-law does not give in, and now he and the mother-in-law quarrel very badly. After a while, my daughter-in-law ran over to my father-in-law and asked, "Daddy, do you want me to be a good child?" Three good students who complete their homework on time and still listen to their parents? Father-in-law: "Of course I hope, this still needs to be said!" My girlfriend: "Well, when I go out and enter the room again, you have to raise your hands for two minutes at once, and I promise you to be a good student!" Father-in-law: "Yes, this is no problem!" Only to see my girlfriend sneak out, and after a while, the father-in-law immediately raised his hands, and did not want to follow my mother-in-law, my daughter-in-law hurriedly said: "Grandma, you see that my grandfather has surrendered, you forgive him, right?" ”?

3, ↓ When my brother went to my girlfriend's house once during the New Year, I was embarrassed to eat and did not eat enough. Woke up hungry in the middle of the night and sneaked into the kitchen. Then I brought out a plate of leftovers and secretly wiped them off in the faint light of my phone screen. While eating, suddenly the light came on. Looking at my girlfriend dad holding a mop at the door, I was full of vegetables and swallowed, nor was it vomiting.

4, early in the morning, the second uncle sent a circle of friends 'this year's birthday no one remembers, had to eat their own bowl of noodles! Here's a picture of a bowl of instant noodles. Seeing that his cousin's eyes were wet, he hurriedly transferred 2,000 yuan to his second uncle to let him buy what he liked. Then call my aunt: Mom, why didn't you tell me on dad's birthday? My aunt said: What birthday? Your dad just finished last month? This kid is stupid! After hanging up the phone, my cousin flipped it over, only to find that the dynamic had disappeared, and if she hadn't seen the transfer records, her cousin suspected that it was an illusion.

5. "Boss, how much is a bowl of spicy scalding?" I asked doubtfully. The boss said, "Twenty dollars!" I breathed a sigh of relief and said, "That's okay, the old man on the other side is expensive!" Selling fifty yuan, the service attitude is not good, angry at me..." The boss smiled and said: "That house was opened by my daughter-in-law, Angry with me, in a bad mood, you don't want to see her in general..."?

6. When I was young, I was working against my mother, and I was beaten up for this. Just now when I saw an article about education when I brushed vibrato, I said to my mother: Mom, I saw an article today, saying that the scolding of children in childhood did not play a little educational role. Now that I think about it, the beatings I had when I was a kid were really in vain. My mother: Not in vain, at that time, beating you mainly for the sake of understanding qi, teaching or not educating does not matter...

7, I remember, when I was a child, because I wanted to buy junk food at the school gate, I stole the family's money, and the first few times were very smooth, 1 yuan and 1 yuan. That day he was suddenly found and beaten by his mother. She asked me: Do you know why you were hit? I sobbed and said, "I've got ten dollars from you." The old mother said: I still dare to lie, I obviously stole sixty. After saying that, I picked up the feather duster and hit it again... At this time, dad stopped her and said: You are going to beat him silly, where does he remember how much he took. At that time, I thought my father was very good, but now that I think about it, it is not so simple.

8, every day in the wind and sun to deliver takeaways, resulting in their original not too white skin color and a lot of darkness. After work last night, I said to my elder sister: "Sister, you see that you have so many girlfriends and classmates, do you also introduce a few acquaintances to your brother?" Are you really watching your brother and me alone? Do you really put up with it? The old sister replied, "I will definitely help you with this, but not now, wait a minute." Curious, I asked, "What are you waiting for?" The old sister came and said, "I'll introduce you to me when I see which girlfriend is not pleasing to the eye!" ”

9. After graduating from college, I watched the rich second-generation friends around me drive luxury cars, and my vanity was so vain that I borrowed more than 200,000 yuan online to buy a Buick Regal. As a result, my father refused to help me repay the loan, and I really couldn't pay back the money, and the car was taken away. There was no way, I had to take the bus to work. While waiting for the train at the station today, I noticed a girl who suddenly started to tease her hair and make a mess of it. At that time, I wondered what was wrong. Not long after, a handsome boy came. The boy didn't know if it was her good friend or boyfriend, and when he saw the girl, he smiled and said, "Why is your hair messy every time?" After saying that, the boy helped the girl smooth her hair. At that time, I was stunned, this tricky technology is really high!?

10. After the sister-in-law has worked hard to find a partner, she is very valued, and her uncle always cares for her. Today I heard my uncle say to her: Stinky ladies! Put your mouth on me clean, curse again, and I'll cut you!" And my uncle's mother also respected her, and even treated her as an elder. For example, when my sister-in-law and I came back to her house with the big bags and small bags we bought, she shouted: My aunt and grandmother, you are going to destroy our family' rhythm!

11. When I arrived at Starbucks, I had no place to go to the table with a couple. The girl was very beautiful, so I looked at it twice, and the man was not happy. He put a car key on the table to scare me, and I took a closer look, and I went, Maybach! So I put the car keys of the Red Flag L5 on the table, Ferrari, Lamborghini, several car keys I dropped on the table. Then the man led the woman to the gray slip away... Oh, what are you with me with a key!?

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #