Taking a shower in the bathhouse, I ran into my girlfriend and her father in the bathroom! Just out of the bath, her father took out a box of cigarettes and gave them to me. I was embarrassed to say, "Uncle I can't smoke!" Her dad said:

Taking a shower in the bathhouse, I ran into my girlfriend and her father in the bathroom! Just out of the bath, her father took out a box of cigarettes and gave them to me. I was embarrassed to say, "Uncle I can't smoke!" Her father said, "Don't pretend to me, I'm not sure who I'm going to give my daughter to." "I listened, thought about it, and took out the box of Chinese from the cabinet!" He said, "Uncle 15 cigarettes I can't get used to, come and smoke mine." ”

2. After the sister-in-law gave birth to the child, her husband has been giving her supplements, and what to eat with big meat. Yesterday at noon to make braised pork, the sister-in-law said: "You eat it, these days the big fish and meat are tired of eating, I want to eat some instant noodle pickles!" The sister-in-law's husband thought about it, and there was nothing to eat, so he said: "Okay! "Then make instant noodles for the sister-in-law and prepare the pickles." The little sister-in-law Lao Zheng was eating braised pork, and was eating it, and the mother-in-law and the old man came!

3. Working in Xiaomi's factory, I often joke with the supervisor of the workshop. After that dinner, everyone went to the KTV to sing together. The man took the wheat and said to me, "How do you look so much like my son?" I also picked up the wheat and said, "Nonsense! Obviously, your son looks like me! Suddenly, there was a burst of laughter from inside the box.

4. My son didn't want to go to school and dragged the corner of my clothes pitifully: "Can I not go to school in the afternoon, I feel that I have a fever." I wiped her head and said, "Okay, I'll rest at home in the afternoon, let's go get an injection first." He was furious: "How did you become a mother?" I said I won't go if I don't go, will you take the child? "Finally I went to school in a huff!

5. I just got off the train last month to see my mother-in-law, and I was carrying an empty suitcase. It just so happened that my brother-in-law was short of one at school, so I gave it to him and bought another one. My mother-in-law asked me what I bought, and I said suitcase. The mother-in-law was happy to hear it: Oh, good son-in-law, how do you know that I am going to travel, and even bought me a box! Well, you're happy...

6. Ten years ago, I ate with banhua and ate beef noodles with banhua. During the meal, I gave her all the beef and said that I didn't like to eat beef, and I was very happy to see it! Later, Banhua asked me to come out and eat beef noodles a few times, and each time I gave her the beef clips! Now ten years later, Ban Hua asked me to eat noodles again, and I ate all the bowls of beef noodles in one go. Looking up, Ban Hua looked at me stunned, and I asked curiously: Why don't you eat, why don't you just look at me? Ban Hua: I'm waiting for you to give me beef! Why did you eat it yourself? I laughed and replied: Wife, in fact, I also like to eat beef...

7. My daughter is 6 years old, and today she suddenly came up to me and told me: I have a wish. Me: So what is your wish? Daughter: My wish is to get rid of bad habits and bad tempers, listen to mom and dad, and be a good child. I was moved, and the intimate little cotton jacket finally understood things and understood the hardships of my parents. Daughter: But this is a wish that can never be fulfilled, because I can't change it. Daughter, are you teasing me?

8. Quietly changed the landline ringtone at home to "Bad Woman", and the mother-in-law frowned when she heard the bell. On this day, I heard my mother-in-law secretly calling, and the other party said: "Hello! Mother-in-law: "Hello, Miss, I want to handle a CRBT business." The other person: "Okay, what song do you want?" Mother-in-law: "One world." The other party: "Bao Apologize, ma'am, we don't have one world, there's only "Two Worlds" here." Mother-in-law: "Are you bundling?" Can I just have one? The other person: "No, ma'am, 'Two Worlds' is the name of the song." Mother-in-law: "Oh, can it be cheaper to take it apart and sell it?" ”

  #Funny# #搞笑段子 #