Sent a message to a female colleague, asking her to go for a walk in the woods at night, the result was accidentally sent to the sister-in-law, and when she found out, she could not withdraw, she replied: "Brother, can you eat first!" ”

Sent a message to a female colleague, asking her to go for a walk in the woods at night, the result was accidentally sent to the sister-in-law, and when she found out, she could not withdraw, she replied: "Brother, can you eat first!" "I was stunned and didn't know how to respond. Her message came again: "There is a Western restaurant next to the grove, but it is delicious, and it is just a walk after eating, but it is romantic!" I deliberately asked, "You're familiar!" She said, "My girlfriend told me!" My girlfriend has a good friend in the company, and every time she is invited to eat Western food, and then go for a walk in the woods! Curious, I asked, "What's your girlfriend's name?" She quickly sent her name over, and I looked at it, isn't this just my female colleague? Could it be me that good man? I deliberately asked, "What's her good name?" The sister-in-law said, "Brother, you are really gossipy, ask so clearly what you are doing." But since you asked, I'll tell you, hey, it's the boss of their company. My heart sank suddenly, and it turned out that she and the boss had something to do." I exhaled and said, "What does it mean to follow an old walking man?" The sister-in-law smiled and said: "Brother, the girlfriend said, the boss is very generous, and understands romance, much stronger than other men in the company." She said that their company, except for the boss, the rest is straw bales! "At that time, I was angry, called the female colleague and scolded her, did not give her any chance to refute, took my sister-in-law to eat Western food, then went for a walk in the woods, and then met the female colleague and the boss who were also walking. The female colleague seemed to be jealous, and shook off the boss's hand and came over to question the sister-in-law: "I am the best girlfriend of you, you..." I snorted: "Be content!" The female colleague said: "The boss is my stepfather!" "Oops, I don't even know how to explain this?" However, I was also quick-witted, and introduced: "This is my sister-in-law!" "You see, they are all relatives, they should be fine!"

2. When the end of the month came, Mrs. Liu wrapped up a large stack of bills to calculate the cost of living! Mrs. Liu: "Husband, our income is too small!" After paying off the car loan and mortgage, there is not much left! Old Liu: "It doesn't matter, by the end of the year I can get double salary!" Mrs. Liu: "Oh, is it your chairman who paid you another double salary?" Old Liu: "No! It was my mother who saw that I was very filial and said that she would give me her retirement salary at the end of the year when she was happy! ”

3. I met my boyfriend in high school, and when I went to Tsinghua University in college, he went to Fudan, and the two of us were separated by one south and one north. A few nights ago, I complained to my boyfriend that I was hungry at night, and the lights in the bedroom were turned off early, and I couldn't get something to eat. As a result, I received his courier today, thinking that this straight man had finally opened the door. As a result, I opened it back to the dormitory, and there was an army green iron box with a few big words written on it: Super Compressed Dry Food!

4. On Valentine's Day, my wife and I watched the movie and walked home hand in hand. At this time, I saw my wife staring at a drunken blindfold on the side of the road. I asked, "Do you know him?" The daughter-in-law sighed and admitted: "She is my ex-husband, who did not drink alcohol before, but has been drinking heavily since divorcing me ten years ago." I heard it and shouted, "Oh my God, he celebrated so many years after divorcing you!" ”

5. At 12 noon I was still asleep when I was woken up by the ringing of an incoming phone. I got angry and connected: Hey... The head was a low male voice: Is it the second egg of the king? Me: Yes, you are? The other party continued to ask: You live at No. 18 Huangquan Road, right? Ready for money? I tensed up and asked in fear: How do you know? The other party laughed: I SF Express, cash on delivery ah!

6. After retiring as a regional manager in a foreign trade company, his father received a pension of 350,000 yuan. He was idle at home and bored, so he planned to use the money to open a barbershop. His craftsmanship is not too good, to try my hand, I know that he is bald as soon as he shaves, so I don't shave him. Dad gave me 3,000 yuan and said to me: If I cut you bald, this money will be given to you! I couldn't stand the temptation of money and nodded in agreement. After shaving I fell asleep, and when I woke up, my brother bowed his head for a while, the money was gone, and then he looked in the mirror and his hair was gone, and the inside and outside houses were looking for him, and his father was gone.

7. Old Justice knelt on the washboard and confessed, and his wife suddenly turned her face: "Pull out the staff and feed the dog!" The husband was frightened: "Oh! But who will do it? Wife: "What's the point?" Here you go! The husband was blindfolded: "Yu, Empress Dowager, do you have your own staff to kill yourself?" Even if you die by touching the rod, who will pull it out and feed the dog? The wife pointed to the corner of the wall and pressed the fire: "Stupid, come and come!" The husband knelt down a few steps and opened his eyes to glance: "It turned out to be a small strong one!" ”

8. On the train back to school, I saw someone quietly watching "Introduction to JAVA". I was shocked, how studious it must be, how perseverance it must be. So I asked him: Why can you still read quietly in such a noisy carriage? How can you ignore the noise of the world and stick to your heart? He looked at me and smiled and said, "Come, give me your charging treasure, and I will let you stick to your heart!" #Funny# #搞笑段子 #