1, divorced female colleagues have to marry me, I think she has an 8-year-old daughter, as a result, her daughter came to talk to me: "Uncle, my mother is very beautiful, this is the truth." "I said yes. She said:

1, divorced female colleagues have to marry me, I think she has an 8-year-old daughter, as a result, her daughter came to talk to me: "Uncle, my mother is very beautiful, this is the truth." "I said yes. She said, "You just think I'm a drag bottle?" "I said yes. She suddenly sneered: "Uncle, you are so stupid, I am a girl, not a son, what are you worried about?" Don't look at me small, they all say that I am a beautiful embryo, and after 10 years, I will be a beautiful woman, and when I get married, you will have to receive a bride price. "I said yes. She continued: "If you find a first-time marriage, get married and have children now, and raise a child to 8 years old, it will cost you 100,000 yuan, not including your 8 years of anger because of children." You see you, married my mother, have a child, have a wife, how happy! "Not to mention, when I heard her say this, I was moved. She's 8 now, her mom is 35 and I'm 19. 10 years later I'm 29, she's 18 years old, and we don't seem to have a big gap in age. I take good care of it, we are together, there should be no feeling of violation, right??

2, yesterday my sister-in-law went online to buy a pair of shoes. The sister-in-law saw a good pair and sent a picture to her brother to ask for his brother's opinion. After a few minutes, the brother replied: "This woman's facial features are quite good-looking, and her figure can be said to be good, but there are too many deliberate traces..." The sister-in-law was immediately angry: "I let you see the shoes!" After a few minutes, my brother replied, "She wears shoes and I also have the same evaluation!" The sister-in-law said, "..."

3, the eldest girlfriend is 32 years old and has not been married, last night the girlfriend went on a blind date again, and the two went to eat hot pot. The man asked his girlfriend to order, and she held back a little, only ordering three vegetarian dishes. Then, the man also ordered three vegetarian dishes, and the girlfriend was very angry and went home after eating the dishes. Curious, I asked her: Why am I angry about this? The girlfriend replied: I order three vegetarian dishes for the sake of restraint, and he orders three vegetarian dishes, that is, to cut the door!??

4. My father-in-law was the class teacher of my high school, and my brother was very nervous when he went to his house to see him once. The mother-in-law was cooking and was not embarrassed to help. A large table of dishes was laid out, and I picked up the national cellar 1573 and poured a large cup for my father-in-law, and I thanked my father-in-law. But my father-in-law said that he did not drink, and I held up my wine glass and was embarrassed there. At this time, the mother-in-law took the wine glass and grunted and dried it all. Just like this, the brother once went to the boyfriend's house and was given under the table by his mother-in-law.

5. It's the Mid-Autumn Festival again. It's a good season to eat crabs. At this time, the hairy crabs were particularly fat, and the mother bought a few to go home and prepare to make steamed hairy crabs. The nephew was idle, took a large bucket, put half a bucket of water, put the hairy crab into the bucket, and cut the rope bound by the hairy crab one by one. Then criticize us in a big way: How can you eat live crabs? You are dozens of years old, do you still have love? After saying that, he went downstairs with the bucket. I quietly followed him downstairs, and heard my nephew calling downstairs: Ah Hua, my aunt bought a lot of hairy crabs, I will send you some. Ten minutes later at your doorstep, you take a bucket and wait...

6, the president's sister-in-law accidentally became pregnant, the child's father did not want to run away responsibly, the president gave me 5 million to let me marry her, I resolutely agreed. After I had the money, I bought a house in Tomson Yipin and waited for the birth of the child. This year, my son is 3 years old, watching others ride bicycles, and he is also clamoring to learn. I bought a car on Taobao and practiced with him downstairs for an afternoon. Later, I couldn't help it, and yelled at him: You can't learn it for so long, are you a pig? The son looked aggrieved: Dad, you ride to show me! Me: I won't! Son: Such an adult can't ride a car, are you a pig?

7, the brother-in-law went on a blind date, each other are still quite satisfied, after the meal the two walked out of the restaurant, suddenly a cold wind blew, the girl sneezed several times in a row. The girl looked at the clothes handed over by her brother-in-law and said with embarrassment: "This is not good." The brother-in-law smiled and said, "It's all right, you take it!" The girl said, "Then I'm not welcome." Then he took it and blew his nose and said, "Thank you, how do you know I didn't bring a tissue, you're so nice." The brother-in-law took the snot-stained clothes and stood in the cold wind in a circle.

8, go to the park at night to walk the dog, today it is a little too noisy, can not stop at all. It made my mouth dry, hurried home, entered the door and shouted: Thirsty death, is there still herbal tea? The old mother listened and hurried into the house to get it: yes, yes. Mom took herbal tea from the refrigerator and opened it, I was just about to reach out and pick it up, mom poured herbal tea into the dog basin. The dog's thirsty bar sniffed and drank quickly. The mother saw it, very happy, while gently stroking the dog's head, while saying: Seeing that you are in a hurry, you can't drink slowly? "

9, the weather is warmer, friends take this little girl I just met to camp. When I came back the next day, I looked at my friend and smiled and asked him how he felt. Looking at my friend with a bad smile, I didn't expect him to suddenly catch fire: I ordered mosquito coils there but were trampled by mosquitoes, how do you think I should feel? After saying that, he lay down on the window and said with a bitter face: It would be good to come back alive!

10. My sister-in-law was a novice female driver who drove a BMW 520 on the road alone today. Starting at the intersection, the lights were also turned off, and the horns in the back kept ringing. The sister-in-law directly hit a double flash and then got out of the car, and the traffic police on the opposite side immediately came over to ask what was going on. Sister-in-law: "I interned, they urged me in the back, I was a little nervous, did not dare to open." Then the traffic police stopped the car behind and said, "It's okay, you drive slowly, don't be nervous." "In the end, the two drivers in the back pushed her over."

11. Because I didn't buy my wife the first cup of milk tea after autumn, I was so angry that I went directly back to my mother's house. The mother-in-law answered the phone and shouted: I married my daughter to you to bully you? She cried in the room for 3 hours and rushed over to look at her. I was too busy saying: Yes yes yes. Went upstairs to the door, heard the wife in the house said: Mom, don't nag, he came from home for at least half an hour, I finished this and went into the house to lie down, nine touches!?

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #