On the train, the man was lying alone in a soft bed, and a woman pushed the door in and inserted the door. Open your chest, scratch your hair and say: Give 5,000 yuan, otherwise shout that you are flirting with me. The man was stunned for a moment and took the paper out of his bag

On the train, the man was lying alone in a soft bed, and a woman pushed the door in and inserted the door. Open your chest, scratch your hair and say: Give 5,000 yuan, otherwise shout that you are flirting with me. The man was stunned for a moment, took out a pen and paper from his bag and wrote: I am deaf and mute, what do you want to do? The woman took the pen and wrote down what she had just said on the paper. The man smiled and closed the note to open the door: You can go out.

2. The little uncle stole his father-in-law's passbook and went to the Volkswagen 4S store to buy a Langyi. After driving home the new car, the smell in the uncle's car was quite large. So, the little uncle bought two dog-shaped activated charcoal purification packs on the Internet and placed them in the back windshield. On weekends, his future father-in-law and mother-in-law sat in the back row and hung out together. His mother-in-law: The smell in this car is too heavy, why don't you find something to suck it? Little uncle: Yes, there are two dogs in the back sucking! As soon as the words fell, the little uncle suddenly felt that the qi was a little abnormal...

3. My daughter is already in the fourth grade of primary school, and I usually tutor my daughter to do problems, but I continue to do it wrong! During the meal, the girlfriend asked her wife: Mother, do you still have money at home? The wife was surprised: Why is this, you ask? Girlfriend: If you still have money in the family, let your father go to school for two more years! He will only do the third grade problems, the fourth grade will not!

4. The back pain has recurred in the past few days, so I went to massage in the afternoon. At that time, the massage aunt wiped the flesh on my back and said: Ah, little girl, you have to lose weight, otherwise your waist will still hurt! I replied lazily: I know, I am trying to lose, and I have lost 100 to almost! Unexpectedly, this big aunt actually said: No, your height is estimated to be 70 pounds!

5. Today's salary, on the way home passed the roast duck shop, I bought a roast duck. When I ate a lot at night, my wife has been eating, and when I accidentally dropped a small piece of meat on the ground, I said no, Threw it in the trash, and my wife got angry: Is the money blown by the wind? If you can say throw it away, pick it up and rinse it with hot water, you can eat it! I was very touched and felt that my wife was really suffering from following me. Then my wife picked up the meat and rinsed it with hot water and put it in my mouth, which was really touching.

6. The brother-in-law fell in love with a female colleague in the company and would send messages to female colleagues every day to buy breakfast. I said to my brother-in-law: Women are most likely to be curious! I took my brother-in-law's mobile phone and sent a text message to my female colleague saying: You are one of the three beautiful women in our school, but I only like you. Unexpectedly, half a minute later, the girl replied with a text message: Who are the other two?

7. Not long ago, my girlfriend got married, and on the wedding night, I saw my girlfriend running out of the cave room in a hurry, and my relatives came to see what was going on. Girlfriend: Angry, how to get married in this marriage? Relatives: It's normal to make a cave room, don't get angry! Girlfriend: Can you not be angry, they actually want to see my face! Relatives: Isn't it just to unveil the red hijab! Girlfriend: They're going to wash my face.?

8. There is a cleaning uncle in the company who carries his own puppy with him when he goes to work. There was still an hour before the end of work, he had a temporary matter, asked the boss for leave, the boss was not sure. He walked away sadly, sullenly crouching in the doorway, teasing his puppy while smoking a cigarette. After work, I went to drive and found the puppy peeing on the tires of the boss's car...

  #Funny# #搞笑段子 #