Went to the female colleague's home as a guest, there is nothing to take, I brought some specialties over, Feitian Maotai two boxes, Huazi five. The female colleague's parents smiled after receiving the gift, and they were attentive to me.

Went to the female colleague's home as a guest, there is nothing to take, I brought some specialties over, Feitian Maotai two boxes, Huazi five. The female colleague's parents smiled after receiving the gift, and they were attentive to me. After a while, the husband of the female colleague returned from work, carrying a bundle of green onions in his hand, and the parents of the female colleague directly rolled their eyes. During the meal, the female colleague's father asked me: "Boy, is there any object?" I see that you have such good conditions, there should be a lot of girls chasing you! "I subconsciously glanced at my female colleagues, most of them, but she didn't allow me to touch them." The female colleague glared at me and kicked me from under the table, I was angry, kicked back, and kicked her mother. Her mother gave me a blank look and didn't say a word. The husband of the female colleague felt that the atmosphere was not right, and some dull smoking, said: "Dad, you have smoked Chinese?" Have you made a fortune? The female colleague's father was not angry and said: "You are waiting for me to get rich?" You can't honor me a few times!" The female colleague's husband smiled awkwardly. The mother of the female colleague said: "These are all brought by Xiao Qiang, you look at the people Maotai, Huazi. ... When you first came to mention the relatives, you didn't take so much." Hey, my daughter got married early! The face of the female colleague's husband was suddenly wrong, he got up and slammed the door, and the female colleague's mother took the opportunity to say: "Boy, what do you think of my girlfriend?" Her father also said: "True love doesn't care about the second marriage, right?" The female colleague said: "What you said when you were naughty, how to say it now!" I suddenly found that there was no good person in this house, and I got up to say goodbye, and the female colleague snorted, came over and pinched me, and said: "Load, you will install it for me!" Say, marry an old woman or not? "I was afraid that their family of three would beat me, but I was a principled person, and in order not to be punched in the face, I said yes." Then, after tonight, I regret it again, what can they do?

2. Today, my uncle went on a blind date, and when my sister saw my brother, she asked, "Do you have a car?" The uncle smiled helplessly and said, "No." The girl looked disgusted: "Poor jewel, I can't even afford to buy a car, and I still come out on a blind date!" Then he stood up and prepared to go. The uncle immediately said, "Wait a minute, girl, you think I can't even afford to buy a car?" To tell you the truth, I can't even afford to pay for this meal, please pay the bill! ”

3. After graduating for several years, I occasionally chat with my old classmates. Sighing like an arrow. There is a very good buddy who played before, did not learn no skills when he went to school, and his family conditions were average. He was married long ago, his wife was from Lianyungang, and the bride price was given to more than 30,000 people. I have one more sentence, what is the woman's dowry? He frowned and thought for a moment, then blurted out: It seems that there is a basin... I almost burst out laughing...

4. When I was a child, I played hide-and-seek with a few friends, usually the number one little fat man in the village. I saw a cardboard box by the wall, and the skinny one buckled myself in the cardboard box, curled up motionless... After a long time, the little fat man muttered, "What about people? Then walked slowly toward the cardboard box. I was secretly happy, I felt a big ass falling from the sky, and in an instant the cardboard box burst, and I almost lost my breath!

5. A couple has been married for 6 years, has been living in harmony, and has been praised. A reporter asked them the secret of a happy marriage, and the husband told the reporter: This will start with our honeymoon. We went to the Grand Canyon for our honeymoon, originally we were going to ride a donkey to the bottom of the canyon, but not long after walking, my wife's donkey fell down, my wife said quietly: Brother once, on the road again, it was not long before the donkey fell again, my wife said quietly: The second time, the donkey fell again, and then my wife pulled out her revolver and killed the donkey. I couldn't agree with her behavior, so I began to argue with her, at this time, my new wife quietly said to me: Brother once...

6. My wife is clamoring to divorce me, and everyone goes to persuade them: Why should the children be divorced when they are 6 years old? How can it not be passed? My wife pointed at me with a handful of snot and a handful of tears: let him say what is going on. Under pressure, I said leisurely: the bear child was playing in the tree, just when I saw it, and then I thought of the classic bridge section in the TV series! Just let the child jump off! Also deliberately did not catch him! Let him realize the darkness of life! The wife said: This is good, the fracture is broken, and the teeth are broken.

7. When I was a Ph.D. student in college, there was a girl in our dormitory who was a super rich second generation, and I had a good relationship with her. After one night of self-study, I accompanied her to the bank to withdraw money, and she only took 30,000 yuan at that time, but the ATM vomited 50,000 yuan. She looked up at the monitor, counted 30,000 yuan in Prada's bag, and put the rest on the cabinet and left! After fifteen days or so, I received a call from the head of the legal department of the bank, saying that she had gone to the court to sue her! The roommate replied: Do you believe that I asked my father to spend 5 million yuan to buy your bank? And then take your position offload? I didn't take the money! Don't slander me!

8. With a 200-pound blind date, it wasn't long before we moved in together. She often complained that I slammed the door, and that time she had a big fight with me and slammed the door. I was also angry, so I didn't chase her, and then I heard the crackling rain and remembered that it was raining heavily outside. Pushing open the window, I saw her crouched on the side of the road, wet from the rain. Seeing her like this, my heart seemed to be caught. I rushed out and quickly sprinkled laundry detergent on her wet clothes.

  #Funny# #搞笑段子 #