The day before yesterday, I was with the landlady to accompany the customer, and we both drank a lot of wine. After I sobered up in the middle of the night, I found that I was living in a room with the landlady, and it was very uncomfortable to drink too much, and I didn't think too much about it

The day before yesterday, I was with the landlady to accompany the customer, and we both drank a lot of wine. After I sobered up in the middle of the night, I found that I was living in a room with the landlady, it was very uncomfortable to drink too much, I didn't think too much, my throat was very dry, I poured a cup of hot water, thought about it cold, and then fell asleep. After a while I woke up to drink water, found that the water was gone, poured a glass of water, woke up and found that it was gone, I still feel a little strange? It's really hard to get a glass of water! The next day, the landlady looked at me with a wrong look and gave me a salary increase.

2. There is a supermarket in front of the community, often engaged in activities, eggs discounted or something. Every time the mother called the neighbor aunt to go to the queue early, sometimes for more than an hour. Once I couldn't help but say to my mother: "Is it worth it to queue up for half a day to save those few dollars?" You guys are so funny! My mother gave me a blank look: "You don't show funny? All day wrapped in a mobile phone to grab the red packet, grab a dime and shyly say that the red packet is too handsome! "I was speechless.

3. The boss is obviously very rich, but he always likes to save everywhere. The day before yesterday with the boss on a business trip, I bought two high-speed rail tickets, the result of which he let me change into a hard seat of an ordinary train, and the refund was wasted two hundred yuan. The boss couldn't stand it and added two hundred yuan to change it into a hard sleeper. This carefully calculated, a total of 10 hours of travel, we wasted a day and a night, and also enjoyed the different seats and the same view!!

4. A few days ago, I met a beautiful woman at a bar, and we fell in love at first sight and talked very happily. After that, the beautiful woman became involved with me, and I was very kind to her. I was walking with my girlfriend and suddenly a basin of water was poured from upstairs and splashed on my girlfriend. When I looked up, it was a little boy who had done it, and I said angrily, "Little friend, don't you see two people below?" The little boy was stunned, turned and entered the house, suddenly spilled a basin of water on me, and said loudly: "Uncle, this is okay!" ”

5. Dad won 36 million yuan in the color drift, so he bought a villa in Tomson Yipin. Dad was idle and had a lot of flowers in the yard, and there were often butterflies flying. That time, the sister brought her little nephew to visit, and the little nephew ran in the yard sweating profusely and kept catching butterflies, but none of them were caught. I said: You're stupid, you're not a flower, and butterflies certainly don't like you. Then, I was scolded by my mother for an hour. Unexpectedly, in order to catch butterflies, this boy pinched a cannabis, and squatted on the root of the wall for an hour and a half.

6. The female supervisor I have had a crush on for a long time finally divorced not long ago, and I immediately launched a crazy pursuit of her. But I did everything I could to chase her and still lukewarm to me. Last night, I saw her circle of friends say: It's the most painful time of the month again! Then I quickly looked up various remedies for the treatment of dysmenorrhea on the Internet, and bought brown sugar ginger tea to send to her office. A few days later, she was with another male colleague who was pursuing her. I thought she needed brown sugar, and the male colleague helped her pay her the flower shells!

7. Today I was on the night shift in the hospital, I was a doctor, I usually sat in the outpatient clinic, and today I encountered a funny thing. I was on duty at the front desk where a pale man walked into the clinic with his stomach covered, and when he saw the doctor, he cried and said, "Doctor, I took some hadge yesterday, and my stomach hurts very much this morning!" I asked, "Didn't you smell any bad smell when you broke those bumps open?" The man asked in amazement, "Do you need to break them open to eat them?" ”

8. My husband has just been promoted to a construction site safety officer, and he took me to the mall to buy clothes after eating Western food at night. Fancy a skirt, more than 20,000, I tried and tried, calmly asked the waiter: "Is there a chicken SHI yellow color in this style?" The waiter shook his head. I asked again, "Is there any black and purple?" The waiter shook again. I took off my clothes and left silently, and my husband asked doubtfully, "Wife, when did you start to like these two colors?" This style can't be there at first glance..." I shouted angrily, "Don't you want me to say I can't afford it?" ”

  #Funny# #搞笑段子 #