The sister-in-law was dumped by her boyfriend and cried for a day and a night. Two days did not get up, the third day the sister-in-law suddenly got out of bed, her feet were soft and even lying on the ground, she did not stand up immediately, but crawled towards

The sister-in-law was dumped by her boyfriend and cried for a day and a night. Two days did not get up, the third day the sister-in-law suddenly got out of bed, her feet were soft and actually fell on the ground, she did not stand up immediately, but crawled towards the balcony, the old man and mother-in-law were frightened, and together they pounced on her and dragged her back. The sister-in-law struggled weakly, crying and saying: You can rest assured, leave me alone, I just went to the balcony to see, did I order the sour and spicy powder come...

2, like the girl said: I want to have a bedroom, sleep next to the window, every day the sun shines on the face, sleep until the natural wake- In order to express my love, I replied: Hello everyone, my name is window, the nickname is sunshine, and everyone tells me to wake up naturally.

3. Teacher: The students know each other on the first day of school today, and the students who read the names below stand up and introduce themselves.................. Yang Wei students come first! Me: Teacher what? Yang Wei? Hahaha... There is such a funny name! Hahahaha... Teacher: High play classmates yes! Is it so funny? Or will you come first?

4, last night with a few friends outside drinking, my wife worried about me, she came to the hotel to pick me up. A friend said to me after getting drunk: "Your house has changed, your car has changed, the next step is to change your wife, right?" "I pretended not to hear, but my wife heard it word for word. After returning home, my wife said: "My bag can not be changed, the electrical appliances at home can not be changed... You can change anything, but you change this friend for me first! ”

5, the father took his son to the street, the result bought a lot of things, the son was afraid to go home mom criticized him, so he said to the father: "When you get home later, you will scold me loudly: I don't understand things, spend money indiscriminately, and at the same time pretend to beat me." Mom will definitely pull the rack after seeing it, and she won't blame me for buying so many things. The father agreed to his son's request, and when he returned home, when the father scolded and gestured to beat his son, the mother began to speak: "I have long wanted to beat him, and this boy has not been very at ease studying lately." You really are, used to him... "Son...

6, smile and laugh to eat cold powder today to get stomach pain, hurry to see a doctor. After the doctor touched the belly of the smile, he shook his head grimly. Smiling worriedly, he asked, "Is it a stomach stone?" Or a stomach ulcer? The doctor still shook his head, and when he smiled and couldn't help but think in a worse direction, the broken doctor said, "A lot of meat!" ”

7, I just came back from the library today, found my girlfriend is sad, and the eyes are red and swollen, I asked what happened. Girlfriend: I found my husband flirting with his sister. Eat together at noon, fried meat with onions, and swallowed by girlfriends! Me: Do I love onions so much? Does this turn sadness into an appetite? Girlfriend: I want to eat more onions, I will fart at night with a stinky smell to stun him!

8, just now the wife held the 8 months of the girlfriend to sleep, coaxed for a long time without effect, it was handed over to me to take over. I coaxed for a few minutes, and the girl fell asleep. The wife said: So fast, how to do it. I said triumphantly: This is my unique trick. Wife: Well, you'll be able to sleep from now on. I..... Wife, I was wrong.

9, weekend morning, I nestled in the bed to brush Weibo, found that the Home Wi-Fi is gone, quickly ran to the living room to see what is going on, it turned out that my father pulled the router power. Dad triumphantly said to Mom: This is much easier than knocking on the door every morning to ask him to eat, and you can never wake up a person who is pretending to be asleep unless his Wi-Fi is turned off!

10, the old man traveled for a week, returned home to find a pair of men's leather shoes at the door. He was a little confused at the time, but he did not dare to face the reality, and went downstairs alone to drink alcohol. Finally, the boss was ready to close, and when he saw that the old man had not left, he asked: Dude, you have been drinking here for a long time, do you have any thoughts? Old Man: I heard people say that wine is strong and courageous! I'm going to be bold! Boss: Brother, don't be impulsive. Old man: Not impulsive, I came to dinner and found that I forgot to bring money, so I can only drink to strengthen my courage! boss:......

1 The clerk's sister did not do anything wrong, and was scolded by the leader for no reason. Aggrieved lying on the table and choking, everyone comforted her to no avail. I walked over to her and crouched down and looked up from under their arms. Make a grimace to try to amuse her, caught off guard, flying down three thousand feet, suspected of snot falling on my face! Then, the clerk girl smiled embarrassedly...

12, my son has been very clever since he was a child, once he wrote something during class time, and the teacher came to him. "Zhang Ming, why don't you listen carefully to the lecture?" The teacher asked, "What are you doing?" My son looked up and replied, "Teacher, I'm writing a motto." "Oh, is it?" The teacher picked up his workbook as he spoke. I saw that it said: I swear that I will complete my homework on time in the future, and if I do not complete it on time, then I will never swear again.

13. At noon, female colleagues went to the front desk to chat. The female colleague is very tall, and she likes to wear high heels, she and the little girl said: "I always have foot pain these days, what do you say?" The little girl at the front desk looked up at her female colleague and said, "Are you too fat?" The female colleague was stunned, turned her head and went upstairs, saying as she walked: "I can't chat anymore, I won't talk to you later." ”

14. Zhuge Liang designed to lure Sima Yi into the upper valley and ignited the gunpowder buried at the bottom of the valley, and the bottom of the valley was on fire on all sides, and sima Yi was about to be buried in the sea of fire. Sima Yi looked up at the sky and laughed: Kong Ming, you count everything, you can't count the sky, the sky does not live up to me! Ha ha. Sima Yi, who had fled in the wilderness, came from there: he forgot to bribe those high-ranking officials, probably because they saw the valley on fire, so they stopped the artificial rainfall and miscalculated.