Last night I was sleeping soundly in the middle of the night when suddenly a phone call came and woke me up. I answered the phone in a daze and listened to the other end of the phone and said, "Wife, my car broke down on the road, and I was around again."

Last night I was sleeping soundly in the middle of the night when suddenly a phone call came and woke me up. I answered the phone in a daze, and listened to the other end of the phone and said: "Wife, my car broke down on the road, there is no one around, you quickly drove to pick me up..." This scam call, I replied a few words at the time: "Who are you?" Lao Tzu is a man, not your wife, and you are typing wrong. Then I hung up the phone and prepared to go to sleep, at this moment I suddenly woke up and pushed the sleeping Red Red next to me: "Wake up, your husband is looking for you...

2. In a history class, everyone listened very carefully. Suddenly, the teacher was silent for a moment and said, "What tastes?" So fragrant? Then the teacher walked over to a classmate: "Oh, it turns out that someone is asleep, and they slept so soundly!" ”

3, smile and say goodbye to youth, came to the winter of The Depression, the cold rain outside the window wet the dead leaves, and fell on the side of the city. Looking up at the gray sky, the mountains and forests have faded, and there are places of fascination in the distance, which arouse the continuity of thoughts. Listen to a piece of music, pick up a little warmth, loneliness is the language of winter. Rub your hands, light a light cigarette, and think about the next year when the flowers bloom.

4, the Jade Emperor has two princesses, whenever they cry, the tears will turn into diamonds. Later, one of the two princesses married a farmer and the other married a businessman! The businessman grew richer by the tears of his wife, while the peasant remained destitute. The farmer asked, "Why don't you let your wife's tears turn into diamonds?" The farmer replied, "I don't want to make her sad." The businessman laughed and said, "I didn't make her sad, but cut the onion when she was fine...."..."

5, I remember when I was in my first year of high school, I played with a girl, and she also called my house every three or five minutes. But in the end, my mother snatched the phone and told me not to harass me anymore! More than ten years have passed, no girl has looked at me, and every time my mother thinks of this, she sighs: "How did I push this blind daughter-in-law away with my own hands..."

6, eat hot pot in the middle of the taste is not right, so said to the boss: no, boss! Me: "It doesn't taste right!" I want a clear soup hot pot, how can this taste a little numb? Boss: "I'm really sorry, your pot is a bit leaky!" "I...

7. After arguing with her husband, she returned to her mother's house in a huff. Before leaving, she sternly said to her husband: If you kneel down and beg me, I will come back! In the evening, my husband sent her a picture with text: I bought a duck head, a duck neck, some clams and some crayfish. It's too spicy to eat. At that time, when she was angry, she said to her mother: He will always spend money indiscriminately when you see that I am not at home, and I will take care of him immediately!

8, in the real estate company to sell houses, there is a colleague who especially likes to brag. He often said: If you go to the restaurants in our area to spend, as long as you mention Tang Liu's name, the owner will give you a discount! Once, by chance, I went to my colleague's hometown and actually went to dinner. At checkout, I also mentioned my colleague's name. As a result, the boss's face changed, a whistle, a dozen waiters ah chef ya will surround me, to pay back the 50,000 yuan of food money owed by colleagues to leave, otherwise the legs are discounted to me. I suddenly realized!

9, old classmates party, are grandparents generation, everyone toasts to each other, several at the same table said that driving does not drink. I said to my side tablemate: Everyone is drying the car, as if I didn't have one. At this time, a classmate came to my table to toast, and the few who drove said that they could not drink while driving. When she came to my table, she said: I'm sorry, I have two girls, four nieces, and I can't drink. Yes, I can't drink because my wife is much younger than me.

10, I suspect that my husband is having an affair. Yesterday he still called the girl's name in his dream, and called a foreign name, what Angela, a fox spirit when he heard it! Husband let her go to the middle road, but we have no middle road, asked a lot of sisters have not heard of, it seems that I am green... I want revenge!!!!

1 After graduating from secondary school, I went to work in a glass factory. Just this morning when I arrived at the workshop, a SF courier came in, holding a courier in his hand and shouting: Who is the father-in-law? Here is a courier called The Father-in-Law. The workshop was first silent, and then the hall was full of laughter. Colleagues said in unison: Father-in-law, why don't you talk? Colleague Lu hui stood up red-eared, took a look at the courier, and then signed his name. It turned out that the courier read Lu Huihui as a father-in-law...

12, there is a colleague, this colleague is quite rich, from time to time someone asked him to borrow a little emergency or something. Every time people borrowed dozens of hundreds of dollars, he took out five hundred from his wallet. Everyone thinks that this man is rich, handsome and generous. As a result, once I forgot to bring money and asked him for help. He still threw out five hundred, and I said no more. He replied directly, without you will forget to pay back I am embarrassed to want. Even if you forget me, you will be willing to collect debts.

13, there is a small Zhengtai in the office, the colleague next to him poked the child's father in front of the child, and suddenly asked: I dare to hit your father, do you dare to fight? People in the office quietly watched this interesting scene, seeing that Xiao Zheng dared to beat his father, Xiao Zheng did not speak, seemed to be unconvinced, put down the toy in his hand, trotted to his father's side and pointed at his colleague and suddenly said loudly: I dare to call him daddy, do you dare to call him daddy?

14, before getting married, take the daughter-in-law home to play, the nephew saw the fat daughter-in-law, happily hugged her and did not let go, asked him why he was so clingy, he said: See the aunt to know that it must be a foodie, follow her to have something to eat later. After getting married, every time I went to my sister's house, my nephew quickly put away the snacks, and poor Baba said to my daughter-in-law: Are you here to grab my snacks again?