1, the sister-in-law came to my house to take a bath, and the daughter-in-law was afraid that I would peek, so she drove me out of the house. I thought to myself that my wife didn't trust me too much, am I that kind of person? I came to the park in a huff and sat down on the stone

1, the sister-in-law came to my house to take a bath, and the daughter-in-law was afraid that I would peek, so she drove me out of the house. I thought to myself that my wife didn't trust me too much, am I that kind of person? I came to the park in a huff and sat on a stone chair and smoked! Just then a beautiful woman came up and sat down next to me. I also ignored her, smoking a cigarette with my own care, but I didn't expect her to take the initiative to talk to me, why are you so unconscious, sitting here smoking, didn't you see anyone next to you? This beautiful woman is really thick-skinned, I sighed, took out a cigarette and handed it to her and said, OK, ok, give you a cigarette, you take it and smoke it, don't say that I am not conscious of exclusive cigarettes. Unexpectedly, the beauty patted open my cigarette, snorted, and went straight away. This beautiful woman has a really strange temper, and I don't know if I can find a husband in the future, so I shook my head involuntarily and sighed again.

2. When a local tycoon returned home at night, he found that his wife had made a table of good dishes. After sitting down, the local tycoon said to his wife: I have been paying attention to you for a long time, every time you eat, why do you use a few more plates and bowls than I do? Wife: I'm all leftovers, good or bad, you still have to sell cheaply, next time I will give it to you. Local tycoon: You see, this is the secret of your weight loss can not succeed, let me come later, I do not believe that I can not be fat.

3. The cousin is a spiritual boy who has learned to smoke from others, and has been for more than ten years now.

Last month, he worked as a driver for a landlady at a company. On this day, the cousin's smoking addict smoked in the stairwell and was seen by the landlady,

She said: "Smoke is good, be careful of lung cancer." The cousin played the soot and said, "I am waiting for someone who told me to quit smoking, would you like to be that person?" ”

4. The landlady blushed and said, "Nasty." "The next day he was fired by the boss because the boss was allergic to the smell of smoke!

I remember when I was young, when I came home from school, I suddenly saw a small golden retriever on the side of the street, and it was frozen and shivering in the winter, so I decided to adopt it when I was so soft-hearted!

Pick it up, put it in your arms to warm it, and then go all the way back.

When I was waiting for the traffic light at a road junction, I suddenly felt that someone was patting me on the back, and I looked back at Uncle, who pointed at me breathlessly and scolded: "Dare to steal my dog, I chased you three streets!" ”

5: I played the king of the network to love a beautiful girl, talked for half a year and finally wanted to meet. For the sake of face, I booked a fancy hotel. I was eating, when suddenly a waiter came up to me and asked: Sir, is the car parked at the door yours? I thought about not driving the car, but to avoid embarrassment, I said: it should not be mine, I don't seem to be parked at the door, you go to see what car it is, if it is a Porsche icon, it is mine. After a while, the waiter came back to me and said: Sir, it is really a Porsche, you are tired to move it! I was momentarily not calm...

6: Our biology teacher in high school is a female teacher. The female teacher said in class: People, you can't be angry, when you are angry, a large amount of blood rushes to the head, so the oxygen in the blood will decrease and the toxin will increase. The toxin will magnetically icon hair follicles, causing inflammation of varying degrees around hair follicles, resulting in pigmentation problems... Me: So, you still have to annoy me less, otherwise the stains on your face will be more and more, and you will only be afraid that your boyfriend will not be able to find it. Female teacher: Roll... You roll me! Me: Roll and roll! How do you talk duplicitously.... alas! I'm afraid there will be a few more spots on my face! The teacher was dizzy

7. A person is wandering on the road and sees a beautiful woman in front of her, but there is a strong man next to her. A minute later, the strong man left, and my opportunity came, and I immediately went forward to talk. I smiled a gentleman and said, "Beauty, can I ask for your phone?" The girl was stunned, and suddenly, a BMW 760 stopped next to me, and the mighty man who had just left patted me on the arm and said, "Brother, she has a phone." ”

8. The other night I went to a food stall with a few roommates, and after a while a roommate went to the toilet... In the public toilet, suddenly he heard someone in the toilet: "Brother, is there a hand paper?" At that time, the roommate rummaged through his pockets: "Sorry, no." After a few seconds, the man asked his roommate, "Is there a small piece of newspaper?" The roommate smiled helplessly at the time: "I'm sorry, no, I just came to urinate." After a few seconds, a 5 yuan note was stuffed in the crack of the toilet door: "Can you help me change it into 5 pieces of 1 piece?" So the roommate handed the money over, and a roar came from the toilet: "Don't give me 5 coins!" ”

9. My wife is lazy, as long as I am at home, she will let me take my 4-year-old son out to play. There are two groups of children in our community, a bunch of hot moms and a bunch of grandpas and big girls. I was with my grandfather and grandmother, and my son cried and went to the hot mother's place, and my son laughed. Today my wife will not let me take my son, she asked with a straight face: You are very happy to take the baby every day! If I say my son is happy, will my wife believe it?

#Funny# #搞笑一刻 #