1, the sister-in-law temporarily lived in my house after the divorce, half a year later pregnant, the mother-in-law quietly said to me: "Son-in-law, you know a lot of people, you see if you can find a partner for your sister-in-law, find someone like you."

1, the sister-in-law divorced temporarily lived in my house, half a year later pregnant, the mother-in-law quietly said to me: "Son-in-law, you know a lot of people, you see if you can find a partner for your sister-in-law, find an honest person like you, now her belly is getting bigger and bigger every day." ”

2, I heard that today's blind date is a flight attendant, the brother-in-law waited for half an hour, the flight attendant is late. She was busy chatting with several people on her phone, and she didn't lift her head. The flight attendant asked: Is there a room? Do you have a car, how much do you save, and how much do you earn annually? The brother-in-law said: Tomson 1 pin 5 suites, Maybach one, Bentley two, deposit 10 figures! No annual salary, I pay it to others! The flight attendant finally came out of the phone and smiled: I am satisfied! The brother-in-law said: Big Mother, what about your girlfriend? "

3. After graduation, he was caught by a boss, and then gave him a company as a security guard, and the annual salary was also a million. On this day, the boss liked my security system to give me 100,000, and then I went to buy a motorcycle, and before I could ride two steps to leak oil, I pushed back to the store. After reading it, the boss said, "Little meaning! Just change the engine! "Uh... Are you sure, if you don't take a closer look, I'm not a Mercedes! Do you want to see me sitting on it and crying?

4, the brother was sent out by the company for a week, the result is less than 5 days to come back, the brother wants to surprise the sister-in-law quietly home. The brother heard a sound in the bathroom, and it must have been the sister-in-law taking a bath. The brother wanted to surprise his sister-in-law, so he hid in the bed. The brother waited quietly with his head covered and waiting for the footsteps to get closer, and the brother was particularly excited, feeling that someone had lifted the quilt. At the moment when the quilt was lifted, the world was quiet for three seconds, followed by the "ah" of the mother wearing the cloud night!! Later, the brother said with an innocent face: I was wrong.

5. Soon my son will have another exam, and after the exam, he will immediately hold a parent-teacher meeting, and then I will be scolded by his class teacher again. I sighed and said to my son, "What I worry about most is your grades, you are always the last in the class." Son: "It's okay, Dad, our teacher teaches exactly the same thing as the last brother and the last one." "I...

6. Today, the abbot and Shi Tai watched TV together and played a costume drama. After looking at it for a while, the abbot sighed, "Alas, if only I could flop every day like the emperor, how nice it would be!" Shi Tai sneered and said, "You want to flop, right?" That's not easy, I'll prepare it for you. After a while, he took a bunch of signs and said, "You flip through." "The abbot picked up the sign and looked at it, and I went, sleeping on the floor, sleeping in the study, sleeping on the sofa, sleeping in the hallway..."

7, yesterday the girlfriend went to eat the buffet, the original 59 yuan a buffet after eating, the boss and the girlfriend to 100 yuan. The girlfriend was reluctant at the time: Isn't this a blackmail? The girlfriend went to the consumer association at that time. The staff came, after understanding the situation, asked the girlfriend: Big sister, how long have you not eaten? My girlfriend said: Of course I eat every day! The staff said: Big sister, not I said you, you eat buffet, eat people 2 pounds of lobster, 3 pounds of abalone, 10 pieces of steak, a case of beer, a bottle of red wine, you want to eat people bankrupt ah! Girlfriends are mostly unaffordable!

8, Moutai wine price reduction, my wife secretly used my Alipay to buy a box, gave it to the old man. After I found out, I got into a big fight with her and smashed everything in the house. Later, the two of us agreed that whoever took care of it first would lose. The next morning, I had a plan, and called Fa Xiao: "Brother, you said that all the girls will look very pretty, and they have a crush on me, I just have time today, go and meet!!! After the wife listened, she said coldly, "Do you dare to !!! I was triumphant: "You lost!!! ”

9, the girlfriend actually has a leg with the boss. 1+1 Cargo Buddy Ever since he asked his girlfriend to finish that phone call, his girlfriend completely broke up with him. Yesterday I heard that my ex-girlfriend was going to marry a local tycoon, and my brother's heart was very uncomfortable. Listlessly on a day shift, I just met the boss on the way home. Looking at the boss's McLaren 720s, the buddy sighed: Boss, tomorrow I will take a day off! Boss: What happened? Me: I'm going to my ex-girlfriend's wedding. The boss was stunned for a moment, and then said: We didn't invite you at all!

10. Sword Demon: "Yesterday I hit a Porsche, the owner asked me to accompany 2 million gold coins, I was angry and scared twice!" The barbarian king said, "Now you can't eat and go away, how much money do you have to lose to others?" Sword Demon: "What money did you lose?" Barbarian King: "Don't you lose money when you crash someone's car?" What happened to your car? Sword Demon: "What can I do with my car, I hit it with my own butt and not with my car." ”

11, by plane on a business trip, waiting for the flight next to a foreigner, is using Google Translate Chinese. I glanced at what it was: I wanted a burger fries coke or something... After a while, he went to McDonald's to order food. After struggling to explain to the waiter, he finally breathed a sigh of relief. The waiter was also very happy, and then asked him: "What burger do you want?" Do you want chips or small potatoes? Is Coke Medium or Small? ”

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #