1. The brother-in-law took a fancy to a house in Hefei, and the 120 square meter sales manager shouted for a price of 2,900,000. The brother-in-law used his own strengths and wanted to talk about 26000000

1. The brother-in-law took a fancy to a house in Hefei, and the 120 square meter sales manager shouted for a price of 2,900,000. The brother-in-law played his own strengths and wanted to talk about 2600000 to win, and the homeowner ignored the brother-in-law. The brother-in-law said, "Up to 2,700,000!" "Finish talking and go!" In the distance came the voice of the owner: "Sir, go around!" The brother-in-law turned his head and left as soon as he heard it, and the sales manager did not shout back for half a day. Later, the brother-in-law turned around for a month and finally bought it for 3300000.

2. Go back to your hometown with your boyfriend, at the mouth of the village, the boyfriend is urinating urgently, it is convenient to go to the grove, I am waiting on the side of the road, there is a grandfather coming, the uncle asked me: "Girl, who are you looking for in our village?" Me: "Uncle, I'll go to Li Xiaodong's house!" Just then, my boyfriend came out and I said to him, "Did this uncle say anything about your village?" Boyfriend: "This grandson who does not know, my neighbor" I tugged on the boyfriend's clothes to make him speak more politely, and the uncle next to him saw the boyfriend and greeted him happily: "Second grandfather, you are back?" I, depend, the rural generations are really chaotic...

3. After graduating from secondary school, I couldn't find a good job, so I went to JD.com with the introduction of a friend. Although I am a scumbag, I have high emotional intelligence, shoot the lead all day, and I was promoted to project director just a month after I joined the company. This morning I went to the president's office to greet Ann, just in time to meet a big sister who came to apply for an appointment. The president asked: What have you done before? The eldest sister said: I just came out of my hometown, and this year my brother came out once, and I have no work experience. The president scratched his head: We are only a skilled worker, have we raised pigs in our hometown? The eldest sister nodded: "I have raised it." PRESIDENT: Okay, then tomorrow you come to work! I've always been curious about my big sister's position, and just this morning I saw my big sister busy in the cafeteria.

4. The ex-wife unfortunately passed away during abortion surgery, leaving a legacy of 2 million yuan. I used the money to buy a house in Biguiyuan and recently moved in. I found that the neighbor opposite the door was a big beauty, and I fell in love with her at first sight. When I came home from work last night, I met her when I went upstairs. I noticed that she was getting prettier, and as she approached, she smiled at me and said, "After work?" I replied with great pleasure, "Yes, it's time to get off work." Looking closely at her as she was calling through the headset, she ignored me and continued to say to the phone, "Then you go pick up the baby." ”

5. Go to my mother-in-law's house in the evening to eat and watch TV. Seeing that the female protagonist and the male protagonist eloped, the wife and sister put down the chicken leg in their hands and said: Mom, if I elope with others in the future, will you beat us? The mother-in-law looked at her wife and sister and said: If you elope with someone else, we will move directly, so that you can't find us, and I don't think we will give the man the opportunity to regret the return. I instantly mourned for 0.01 seconds in my heart for my wife and sister, maybe she was not her own child.

6. Today Xiao Bao returned home with a look of grievance... So Da Zhuang stepped forward and asked, "Son, what's wrong?" Did someone at school bully you? Xiao Bao shook his head and said, "Dad, why do you think our family is so poor?" Da Zhuang took a deep breath of the dry cigarette in his hand, sighed, and said, "This is not to let you take charge of the house early." ”

7. One day I asked my female colleague, "Why don't you find someone if you look so beautiful?" She said: "There has been no favorite.". I said, "What do you like?" She said, "I like Chinese culture." Leaving a confused look on my face, do you understand netizens, what does she mean by this?

8. After the pregnancy, the wife likes to eat fruit, and when she returns home after work in the evening, the wife has to argue to eat cantaloupe, so she rides around the streets in an electric car and finally sees a stall selling cantaloupe. Bargaining with the boss, but the boss is not cheap, I said impatiently: the same cantaloupe, everyone sells a piece of how can you sell a piece of five? The boss is also anxious: the same is the daughter-in-law, people are 100 pounds how to your 200 pounds? You and I wait to calm down.

9. The roommate's confession to the school flower was once again ruthlessly rejected. I invited him to a food stall for a drink, and he cried and said, "Do you know how hard I work for her?" Then I saw a husky trying to jump on the back of the great white dog. But the husky failed again and again, and rushed around the big white dog. I pointed to the dog and said: Some things are not done by effort alone... Before he could finish speaking, the big white dog lay down, and his roommate cried even more!

10. On Sunday, I drove my own car to the swimming pool for a swim, feeling that the time was almost up and I was going home, and when I came out, I was confused and my shoes were missing.

There was no way but to take a taxi home barefoot on the street.

The driver on the road asked me, "Why don't you wear shoes?" Let the daughter-in-law drive out, right? ”

Without waiting for me to answer, he patted me on the thigh again and said, "Don't be sad buddy, I am often driven out, but I am not as miserable as you, and my shoes are not allowed to wear." “

11. The sister-in-law learned to drive an excavator with her husband, only remembering where the throttle was, not the brakes. On this day, the old man was particularly gentle, did not jump like thunder, and did not foam at the mouth. But the most important thing did not help the sister-in-law to step on the brakes, and the sister-in-law shuddered. After a sharp brake, the sister-in-law looked at the old man next to her in panic and asked: Dad, do you have any pain? The old man said calmly, "Nothing, I just don't want to live!" ”

12. When I went to work this day, the hospital suddenly called me and said that my friend was rescued in the hospital, and I was small when I heard it. The fire rushed to the hospital, and was relieved to see that Fa Xiao had woken up. I asked him: A very strong young man, how can he accompany his girlfriend to go shopping for heat stroke? Fa Xiao saw his girlfriend go out and secretly told me: Brother, it's not that I'm in poor health, I'm afraid to continue shopping, and in the second half of the year, only steamed pickles are eaten!