1, get up in the middle of the night to go to the toilet, because the slippers are on the husband's side, so they are confused from the husband to climb over, get off the bed and toilet, and come back the same way back when they are finished. This goods get up in the morning

1, get up in the middle of the night to go to the toilet, because the slippers are on the husband's side, so they are confused from the husband to climb over, get off the bed and toilet, and come back the same way back when they are finished. This cargo got up in the morning and said to me: Wife, I had a nightmare last night, dreaming of being crushed back and forth twice by a big truck.

2. The brother-in-law's girlfriend suspected that he was a poor gem and eloped with an old rich man who drove Lexus 570. Since then, the brother-in-law has been silent. Last night the brother-in-law said to the old man, "Daddy, this time you don't stop me, I want to go to a place where there is wine and beautiful women." The old man interrupted the brother-in-law: "Where do you want to go?" The brother-in-law said, "Dad, don't stop me!" The old man said with a smile and said, "Whoever stands in your way, I am going with you." "

3. Buddies play games until midnight every night, and make up for sleep the next day when class goes to class. In the morning, the math teacher was in class, and the buddies suddenly laughed. The teacher was angry and asked him what he was laughing at? He said confusedly: I dreamed of taking the college entrance examination, they followed the trend to do activities, said that the college entrance examination score of 500 minus 300, I just took the 499 exam, became a champion.

4. One day, my boyfriend's brother emptied his shopping cart and gave me up in exchange. The married life of the two of us was also very good, and I was spoiled like a princess. After eating last night, my husband began to cut my nails. Husband: "Daughter-in-law, how did your thumb just cut?" Me: "I wanted to cut it yesterday, and suddenly I remembered that you came back today and left it all for you." Husband: "You really hurt me!" ”

5. When I was in junior high school, I walked hand in hand with the goddess in the playground, and walked to the back door of the school and was caught by the class teacher. Class Teacher: You are still students, learning is the main purpose, I am your teacher, I am responsible for you, please go back to school. Now that I am thirty years old and still alone, I want to say out loud: Teacher, your promise of that year should be fulfilled, be responsible for me!

6, online dating a beautiful woman, invite her to the bar to drink, the beauty gracefully said "I only drink 93 years of Rafi!" I ordered a cup hard, and the beauty smacked a mouthful, "That's the taste!" "A total of three drinks, checkout, a total of 86 yuan, I whispered to the waiter "how is it so cheap?" the waiter whispered, "Sir, we don't have Rafi, all are ordinary dry red, I'm afraid you're too expensive..."?

7, I don't know which high person once studied and said a few words: "A person who cries a lot needs 80 muscles on the body to work together to complete." A person frowns, and there are 30 muscles on the face and they act on it. But for one person to laugh, only 13 muscles are enough. "What if a muscle and a pound of pork are the same?" Then 30 muscles are 30 pounds of pork. You need 80 pounds of pork once you cry. Are you worried about 30 pounds of pork? But if you laugh, you only consume 13 pounds of pork. Did you earn 67 pounds of pork? So my dear friends, it's better to laugh than to cry! It's better to laugh than to be sad! Even if tomorrow is the end of the world, don't worry about it, laugh first, and then leave the rest to pork braised sauerkraut, pork stew noodles, braised pork back meat. "

8. The mother-in-law took precautions, and the sister-in-law arranged a blind date for her while she was still in college. After meeting, the man looks good, the body is estimated to have 182, and the sister-in-law is quite satisfied! After chatting for a while, she began to inquire about the man's wealth: "How much do you save?" The man replied: "Not much, only 3 million." The sister-in-law asked, "This is not much, there are already many, what do you do?" The man replied, "The brick factory." The sister-in-law asked: "Your deposit will not be 3 million bricks..." The man said lightly: "Otherwise." ”

9. Once upon a time, I was also an elite of a listed company. At the year-end party last year, the boss invited us to dinner, eating is hot pot, I was in a corner, one person a hot pot, unfortunately my hot pot is not good, always hot, I have been waiting for ah, etc., this is the boss came to our private room to talk to us about the auxiliary words, said more than ten minutes, I did not pay attention, I only paid attention to my hot pot, after saying the last sentence, the boss began to go outside, only to see my hot pot began to boil, I shouted excitedly: haha finally rolled! The next day, the boss said to me: next year will not bother you to drive, you find another high...

10, in the morning with female colleagues to eat, a breakfast ate 3290 yuan, I looked at the bill on the stunned, did not expect female colleagues so able to eat, I do not have enough money, ah, fortunately I am in a hurry, said: "Boss, wipe the pieces, 329 you see what? The boss glared at me: "No! I had another plan in mind and said, "The city manager is coming!" "When the boss was frightened, I pulled my female colleague and ran. Running back to the company in one breath, I took a long breath, and the female colleague said: "Brother, that's my second uncle's breakfast stall...."?

11. Under my unremitting efforts, I finally won the prize, the prize was 2 million, and on my way home after receiving the prize, a strange man stopped me. He said, "Qingqing, I haven't seen you for many years, and now it's so pretty, your rosy face is now so pale; what was originally tall is now much shorter, what's going on?" I said, "I'm not called Qingqing..." He said in surprise, "Oh, even the name has changed!" ”?

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #