1. The brother-in-law made 9,600,000 yuan in business and took me to play golf. Inside the dressing room, there was a mobile phone that rang for a long time, and the brother-in-law answered and pressed the hands-free button. woman

1. The brother-in-law made 9,600,000 yuan in business and took me to play golf. Inside the dressing room, there was a mobile phone that rang for a long time, and the brother-in-law answered and pressed the hands-free button. F: Honey, are you at the club? Brother-in-law: Yes, what's wrong? F: I have a crush on the new BYDHan, which is only a few million. The brother-in-law said particularly calmly: Buy. F: Honey, and that real estate is on sale again, 80,000 square meters. The brother-in-law still said: Buy. I was stunned by the admiration next to me, and my brother-in-law hung up the phone and asked: Whose mobile phone is this?

2. The brother-in-law is a programmer by birth, and recently sold a patent through his own efforts to get 800,000. But he told his wife that he had only sold 8,000 yuan. One day his son took his mobile phone to check the information and accidentally saw that there were 800,000 yuan in Alipay. So the son told his mother about it. In the end, the brother-in-law was forced to give all the money to his sister. Since then, my brother-in-law has worked overtime every day to earn money, and he has not attended parties or smoked cigarettes. One summer vacation half a year later, the brother-in-law said to his son: "Son, I have earned more than a million in the past six months, I bought you a lot of Olympiad materials, and also enrolled you in five cram classes." ”

3 Sold the second uncle's Arowana for 1.5 million, and then bought a Maserati icon for the goddess.

The goddess immediately agreed to my pursuit and became my girlfriend.

Today my girlfriend took me home to meet my parents and I was nervous.

The girlfriend said, "Don't be nervous, you just feel like you're going back to your own house." ”

When I arrived at my girlfriend's house, the door opened and my girlfriend's parents greeted me warmly.

I quickly said, "Dad, Mom, I'm back!" This is my girlfriend! ”

4 I waited anxiously outside the delivery room for 3 hours, and the nurse came out and told me that I had a girl. After my wife was pushed out of the delivery room, I angrily asked, "Did you say you want a boy?" Why did you give birth to a girl? The wife roared: "Giving birth to boys and girls is decided by men, can this be blamed on me?" My voice was even louder: "In other people's homes, you can say so, but in our family, I have to ask you for 5 yuan, such a big thing as giving birth to boys and girls, do I have the right to decide?" ”

5 I don't know if the coach who took your driver's license knew that her students were all so manipulative? Imagine what kind of facial expression the coach should be? If I were your coach, I would chase you down the street. You're not here to take a driver's license, you're here to discredit me! Coach please forgive him! Maybe it's a child?

6 Not long after I got married, although my wife was 10 years older than me, we were still in love, and she bought me my favorite Maybach. Today I was driving the Maybach for a ride on the street, and I didn't expect to be at a fork in the road, a little distracted and rubbed a big aunt down. Frightened, I quickly got out of the car to check the situation and said: Sister, are you okay? The big aunt climbed up and patted her clothes, smiled and said: The boy's mouth is really sweet, sister is fine, you go!

7 When a couple watches a show called Exploring the Universe, the wife excitedly asks her husband: If you fly into space, what do you most want to do? The husband said: Look at what kind of women on the other planet look like. The wife did not speak, picked up the teacup on the table, and with a loose hand, the cup fell to the ground and shattered. The husband asked with trepidation: What is this for? The wife said: Nothing, I see if the earth is still attractive...

8 On this day, I bought cucumbers at the wet market and returned home to mix cold sauce, but I was hit by a Bentley Mulsanne icon on the way back. Then a woman came down from the car, hurriedly helped me up, and said: Are you okay? I looked at the cucumbers scattered on the ground and said, "I'm all right, but my cucumbers seem to be in trouble!" The owner took out his wallet and took 10,000 cash and said: 2,000 yuan a stick, which is 10,000 yuan. With the money, I was even more upset, thinking: Why didn't I just buy sea cucumber abalone?

9 Went to the hospital, sat on a bench and waited for the call, and sat next to an old man, who looked at me from time to time.

Suddenly, Uncle Covered his head and fell to the ground, looking very uncomfortable.

I quickly picked up the uncle and pinched the others. The doctor rushed over and looked at it and said, "Uncle's blood pressure has suddenly risen, so get ready for the operation cart." ”

Then he turned to me and said, "The collar of the clothes you are wearing is too low, so don't make it up in front of you... Otherwise you'll have to shout 120 again! ”

10 My girlfriend is a soft girl and asks me to screw the cap every time I drink. Once I went to the girls' dormitory to find her, intending to surprise her. When I sneaked open her dorm room door, I found her eating walnuts. Only to see her two walnuts pinched in the palm of her hand, so with a gentle pinch, the walnuts were directly broken. I was standing outside the door, my legs trembling with fear!

11 Today I rested with a few guys and went to supper together. On the way there, a beautiful bmw 760icon forcibly changed lanes, smashed one of my buddies' headlights, and scraped the side paint. The beautiful woman got out of the car and scolded: "A broken treasure is just a treasure, I will reward you with 200 yuan to go and repair it!" My buddy sighed and smiled and said, "Sister, call your dad and say that you hit the Millennium Collector's Edition of Jetta Icon!" "As a result, my sister called her father, and she asked my buddies to go back to 150 again...