1, just changed a new number, I called my wife to flirt: Honey, what are you doing? Wife: Who are you? Me: Honey, we've all seen each other the night before, how's that?

1, just changed a new number, I called my wife to flirt: Honey, what are you doing? Wife: Who are you? Me: Honey, we all met the night before, how come we don't remember me so quickly? Wife: What night is it?

2, after a day of brick moving life, took the four hundred yuan of a day's settlement and went home happily. After returning home, my wife said to me: Husband, I last saw that brand of clothes out of the new model, I have not bought clothes recently, a week to buy so many sets, are not enough to wear, people say that people rely on clothing, I wear good-looking, you take out have face ... I'm a little annoyed: say the point. Wife: 3000. "

3. The little nephew was expelled from the school because of his ambiguous relationship with a female teacher at school, and his cousin found a new school for him. Today, the little nephew went to school on the first day, he always felt that something was wrong when he walked on the road, and he couldn't remember what was wrong, so he went to school. When I sat down in the classroom, I was just about to pick up a book, but suddenly I found that I didn't have a school bag. The little nephew told the teacher: Teacher, I forgot my school bag. The teacher laughed angrily: "Then what did you bring to school?" The little nephew said in a hurry: I have a positive heart...?

4. After the resignation of Haoyang Group, he went to Greenland Group to work as a driver for the chairman, with a monthly salary of 90,000 yuan. Today, I drove the chairman's Bentley out, thirsty on the way, and went to a convenience store to buy Coke. I didn't look at it, I took the bottle to check out, took the straw and drank. After a few sips it didn't feel right, why the beer? The clerk smiled and said, "I was just wondering why you should use a straw to drink beer???

5. My daughter-in-law and I met at a friend's wedding, and the two of us exchanged contact information at that time. It didn't take long for us to get married. Today my son was mischievous and was caught by his wife and beaten up, and I ignored it. After a while, my son came over crying and slapped me hard. Before I could react, my son cried and cried, "Are you worthy of me when you marry such a wife?"

6. After the old man retires from the State Grid, he can receive a pension of 12,000 per month, and his life is very idle. However, the smoking addiction of the old man is getting bigger and bigger, with at least 6 packs of soft Chinese a day. A few days ago, the old man was unwell from smoking and went to the hospital for examination. After the doctor diagnosed his condition, he said heavily: Your disease must be operated on. Man: Surgery? Then I might as well die. Doctor: Surgery may help you realize your wishes in advance.

7, and the wife because of the problem of cooking, there is a quarrel. Both men were very emotional and fought. As a result, my foot slipped and fell heavily to the ground, and I was finally taken to the hospital. The uncle at the sick window next door asked me: Boy, why did you get this? Me: Fight. Uncle said: Young people, don't study well, what a fight with people! I said impatiently: It's not a fight with someone else, it's a fight with my daughter-in-law, and then I fall by myself! At this time, the uncle smiled and said to me: I know, I know, I fell by myself, not by my daughter-in-law!

8, the elder sister slept at night dreamed that the brother-in-law and a divorced young woman got along, and then questioned the brother-in-law in the dream, the brother-in-law also admitted with a hippie smile, a look of what can you do with me, my sister woke up at that time, looking at the sleeping brother-in-law is a kick, the brother-in-law was kicked and woke up and angrily asked my sister what to do in the middle of the night, my sister said that I dreamed that you cheated, the brother-in-law said that you are not neurotic, what are you making trouble in the middle of the night? You rely on me for a dream! My sister went to sleep happily after a meal of kicking, and my brother-in-law sat angry all night!

9. At home at night, my husband sits in front of the TV and sniffs melon seeds. After seeing it, my mother-in-law recalled: That year, I took the only 2 yuan in my family to the market, and when I passed the stall selling melon seeds, you grabbed it and put it in your mouth. The boss let you lose 10 yuan, I grabbed you in a hurry is a dozen slaps, the boss saw that you were too pitiful, let us go and sent half a pound..... After saying that, the mother-in-law is still a little proud! My husband's face is not so good-looking..."

10, the family bird vodka finished drinking, plan to go to the supermarket to buy a few more bottles. When I went home, I bought a watermelon, cut it at home to see if it was not ripe, and decisively brought the watermelon back to change. As a result, the stall that originally sold melons was closed and left, and when I returned home, my wife said that I was really useless and would not even buy a watermelon. I went out with the melon in one breath, and casually found a stall selling watermelons without saying anything, and Threw the melons to the ground and stared at the boss. As a result, the boss didn't say anything and immediately changed me to a cooked one.

11. At night, when my husband and I were sleeping, a friend called to say that my girlfriend was injured, and I hurried to get dressed and rushed to the hospital. In the hospital, my girlfriend cried and said to me: You must polish your eyes when you come to find your husband! Me: What's wrong? He hit all the injuries on your body? Girlfriend: Today I was going to kick him down the stairs, but the cargo hid, and I fell down....

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #