1. After marrying the chairman's daughter of more than 300 pounds, I was promoted from company security to general manager. Yesterday, after receiving a salary of 700,000 yuan, I came to a roast chicken stall at night and asked:

1. After marrying the chairman's daughter of more than 300 pounds, I was promoted from company security to general manager. I received a salary of 700,000 yuan yesterday, and I came to a roast chicken stall after work in the evening and asked, "How much is a roast chicken?" Boss: "A 60!" "I remembered what my wife had told me before, to learn to bargain in half when buying things. So he said, "Half, 30." Boss: "Okay! Get it right away. So the knife fell from the hand, and the skillful knife worker fell into the bag. I happily took the roast chicken to my home and said to my wife: "Wife, you said that I will not bargain, I bargained successfully today, half cut, the boss wants 60, I cut to 30." The wife took the roast chicken, opened it, and slapped me: "You even cut the roast chicken and bought half of it. ”?

2. I used to drive a girlfriend's fit, and accidentally hit the street lamp. The policy showed a loss of 77,000, and Ping An Insurance said the vehicle was scrapped to 77,000. The garage bid 80,000, all kinds of full of routines, I don't know how to operate. In addition, it is not my own car, and I am afraid of trouble and directly hand it over to the insurance company. Later, I asked my girlfriend to know that his car ran 9,000 kilometers, which was quite valuable.

3. The brother-in-law is taking a nap when his girlfriend calls him and asks him to come to the hotel to play games together. The brother-in-law ran excitedly to the hotel with a rolling belt, and he saw his girlfriend lying on the bed in her pajamas. The brother-in-law said angrily: "You play with me!" How can this broken room be a broken double bed, not even a computer, what game to play! Say goodbye to the brother-in-law and slam the door!

4. Just now, I took my bear child to the hospital for injections. The bear child said: Mom, I don't want to get an injection, it hurts. I comforted and said: Baby obedient, there are so many nurses and aunts here, we have to find a needle that does not hurt. The bear child asked: Which aunt does not hurt the injection? I thought about it and said: Mom doesn't know, try it! The bear child nodded happily.

5. The family's financial power has always been in the hands of the girlfriend, today I went home to borrow some jianghu with my father to save the emergency. Dad told me that a man should be tough and not be controlled by women, like he has always been in a high position in the family... When he was talking, my mother came back from grocery shopping, and my father was frightened and dropped the money he was going to give me on the ground. I picked it up and stuffed it into my hand and said to me: Child, it is not easy for you to earn money, your parents don't want your money, just come back and see it often...

6. 1, 1+1 cargo partner yesterday after drinking and took a bicycle to send his girlfriend home. Because it was a country road, I accidentally fell over the rice field and told us to break up the next day. Ask him why? He said: The woman has a brain problem, she has fallen, and she is in the mood to sing, friend, you are going to leave today, and you have made this cup of wine! A faint sentence came from the corner: Silly, you don't deserve love!

7. Lao Zhang came back from a business trip and saw that the kitchen cabinets were full of salt, and joked: "Is the end of the world coming again, why are you still hoarding salt?" Son: "Every time Uncle Wang came to our house as a guest, my mother would take money and tell me to go out and buy a bag of salt." Lao Zhang turned to his wife and angrily said, "What the son said is true?" The wife was so frightened that her face was blue and she did not dare to speak. Lao Zhang was angry: "So much salt can't be eaten and expired, how wasteful, you loser's brides!" ”

8. This year is the twelfth year with my wife, and we have a heart-to-heart relationship, but yesterday we failed? Yesterday, when I killed a chicken, I was timid and held a knife for half a day and did not dare to start. The daughter-in-law said that I had humiliated the man, and she personally handled the knife. After finishing the incident, he glanced back at me: There are some things that I want to take care of, you know what to buy, right? I understood it all at once, and I came back from shopping. The daughter-in-law asked: What about the cooking wine that you bought? She looked at the washboard I had bought back and twitched at the corners of her mouth.

9. Yesterday I went to the supermarket to buy cigarettes, bought a pack of 20, and gave the boss 50. Looking for me 40, I pretended not to know, put it in my pocket and left. The boss didn't go far and called me: Your cigarette was not taken, and I shed tears of emotion. Take out ten dollars to the boss: you found me ten more dollars. The boss also left tears of emotion: boy, bring the cigarette, I will change it for you. Smoking the cigarette that the boss had just changed for me, the pure taste couldn't help but move me again: Boss, take the 50 just now and I will give you another one. The boss took the 50 and was also touched again: Young man, give me the money that was looking for you just now, and I will change it for you. After taking the boss to find my money again, I was also moved again, and took out a mobile phone from my pocket: Boss, the mobile phone is returned to you. The boss was in tears, trembling and pulling out a wallet: Boy, the wallet is back to you. "

10. Not long after the university started, several doughnuts had girlfriends. A few of them had a big expense, and at the end of the month they cried bitterly, so they turned to me for help, saying that when I had difficulties, they would double their rewards. Unexpectedly, I would still be single until graduation! Always thinking about the opportunity to eat back later, this is 8 years after graduation, these boys are married, when eating or I invite! Because I'm still a single dog, no one hurts and no one loves!

11. Grandpa has been sullen since grandma died in a car accident, and once we met him to drink paraquat! Since then, Grandpa has taken turns living in my house and my aunt's house. Once I came home and saw grandpa at the door of the house, afraid to go in. Ask him what's wrong? He said that he lost 50 yuan, which my mother gave him to buy vegetables, and I quickly gave him 50 yuan to make up for it. At night, Grandpa stole a cigarette in the toilet, was found by his mother, and asked Grandpa where the money came from to buy cigarettes. Grandpa looked at me, and then he had a look of death and denial! My mother poked my ear and scolded: The doctor won't let your grandfather smoke, don't you know?

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