When I was young, I grew up in my hometown, and I had only heard of the Lantern festival and never eaten it. When I went home from overtime some time ago, I bought a pound of Lantern. Once cooked, scoop one up with a spoon and put it

When I was young, I grew up in my hometown, and I had only heard of the Lantern festival and never eaten it. When I went home from overtime some time ago, I bought a pound of Lantern. After cooking, scoop one up with a spoon and put it in your mouth, swallow it in a smooth, hot mouthful. I never expected to burn my heart and mouth, and I was full of anger. When I came home at night, the wontons made by my wife, as soon as I looked at it, I sneered: "Lantern, Lantern, you think you have two wings, Lao Tzu doesn't know you!" This time, I'm going to cool off and slowly clean you up. ”

2, summer is coming, there is a sound of cicadas everywhere, in the afternoon with my daughter to catch the sound of cicadas, take a bamboo pole, help a net pocket, follow the sound of cicadas to catch. Therefore, the daughter sighed and said: This is the jianghu! Shut up when you should shut up, or you won't know how to die! Me: Is it very deep?

3, my girlfriend came to the company to find me, just in time for lunch time, asked me if I wanted to eat something. What I thought to myself was, "No, I'm so happy to see you, I don't feel hungry." As a result, he opened his mouth and said, "No, I will be full as soon as I see you." ”

4, I remember the first time my girlfriend and I went out to play, the two sat on the bus, shaking, and my heart also shook. Sneaking a look at her girlfriend, her eyes became confused, her face slowly turned red, and her mouth was half open and half open: ''Brother, I... I...... I hesitated to kiss it, and this first kiss is still very memorable, because what she wants to say is: ''I... I... want... Spit ''...

5, at night my girlfriend and I have insomnia at the same time, so I suggested counting geese. I said one goose, she said two geese, I said three geese, she said four geese... One hundred and eighty geese... My confused mouth was slurred and I was about to fall asleep. syllable! These two goods slapped me in the face: It's your turn! I really wanted to kill her, but I didn't have enough energy.

6, there is a brother, people look ugly even if they are ugly, but also cut the door. Once, a relative introduced him to a blind date. After returning, the family asked: How is it, is there no picture? Dude said: People are OK, but the mouth is too big, the lips are too thick. The family said: Is there anything wrong with this? The buddy covered his wallet and said: Of course, the mouth is mostly wasted lipstick!

7, the boyfriend came home from vacation to find me, just when the little nephew and the big niece were at home. The boyfriend gave the niece two hundred dollars to take your brother out to eat something nice and have fun. The little girl put down the remote control and pouted her mouth to look at me and my boyfriend. Don't think that if you spend me, I don't know what you want to do... For two hundred dollars, the TV shows you two hours.

8, take Erzi to the supermarket to buy things, Erzi wants to hit a toy car, but also must buy. I looked at the price: this one is too expensive, I bought it for you online, it can be much cheaper. Erzi pouted and said: No, you must buy it now. I took out my mobile phone to show Erzi the toy car on the Internet: You see, the price of this supermarket is 240 yuan, buying it online is 80 yuan, and you can buy 3 on the Internet. Erzi thought for a moment and said: Then I will buy 3.

9, there is a rich man who eats as fat as a fat pig, and it is good to raise grasshoppers for a day. One man caught a grasshopper and deliberately compared the vocal organ to the rich man. The rich man was eating, looked at it and brushed his lips and said, "This grasshopper can't bark, what else is it for?" The man looked at the wine and dish, smiled slightly, and said, "Don't look at me, this grasshopper can't bark, but it can eat well!" ”

10, when getting married, a small game was arranged, and the emcee told me to guess which of the three rooms the bride was in, and that I must choose carefully, because no matter which room I entered, I had to kiss the person inside, mouth to mouth.　　I whispered inside, "Isn't that exciting?" Kiss wrong, my daughter-in-law cut me?"　　The emcee smiled mysteriously, "Don't worry, even if the kiss is wrong, I guarantee that the bride will not cut you." Finally, I went in and found that in addition to my daughter-in-law, the other two rooms were men!

In the First New Year, many people have pasted the blessing upside down, which means that the blessing has arrived. Today, I wrote a piece of money on a whim, and pasted it upside down on the door, implying that the money had arrived. The mother saw it, slapped it over, and said in her mouth: I let you paste the money upside down, let you paste the money upside down, paste the money upside down...

12 An adventurer loses his way in the forest. He had only one apple on him, and whenever thirst, hunger, and fatigue came, he had to look at the apple in his hand. Then take a sip of the chapped lips, which will suddenly add a lot of strength. In the end, the adventurer unfortunately died in the desert. Later, people regretted that if he did not use Unicom mobile phone, maybe the distress message could be sent!

13, when I was a child, once I came back too late to play, my mother directly beat me up, I cried badly, tears and snot flowed out, a strong said next time do not dare. As I spoke, my snot ran down my face into my mouth, and when my mom looked back, I "choked" and spit it out. When my father saw it, he shouted: Wife, you look fast, he still dares to you if he does something wrong!!!

14, in the morning to go to the cousin's house, I saw the cousin's forehead red and swollen and broken skin! I laughed at my cousin: I drank too much last night and fell down and broke! Cousin: I didn't drink yesterday, it was your cousin-in-law, she dreamed at night, muttered in her mouth that she was eating watermelon, picked up my head and nibbled!