When the father-in-law found out that he had a heart attack during the physical examination, his mother-in-law hated him, so she divorced him and shared the family property of 1.5 million yuan. Recently, the mother-in-law is going to marry someone else, the old man

When the father-in-law found out that he had a heart attack during the physical examination, his mother-in-law hated him, so she divorced him and shared the family property of 1.5 million yuan. Recently, the mother-in-law was going to marry someone else, and the father-in-law deliberately dressed very tattered to attend the wedding banquet. Curiously, I asked the old man: Why did you do this? The old man said: I dressed up like this, it will make her feel that she was right to give up my choice in the first place! I was surprised at the time, is this true love?

2. Last week, the company came to a new cute girl, belonging to the kind of light body softness, usually she even let others twist the bottle of water. I went to the bar to drink and met her on this day, and I saw a drunken man flirting with her, and she began to hide back and forth, and the man became more and more arrogant. As soon as I saw that this was paid off, I just got up to save her, and then I saw her put the man down with a roundabout kick. Finally, he said something that made me messy so far: "Alas, it seems that I can't fit it anymore!" ”

3. A female colleague sitting next to me recently lost weight and often brought her own weight loss bento. Bring sashimi at noon today, and before you eat it, you still think about me and let me taste it. I ate a slice and she asked me how? I said: It feels delicious, cool... It's that this mustard is expired and tastes a bit like mint! The female colleague nodded: Well, forgot to buy mustard, put some mint toothpaste! I glared at her: Can toothpaste be eaten? She said quietly: "That's why I let you taste it first." I......?

4. My cousin went on a blind date and asked me to help look at his cell phone store in the morning. During the period, an uncle with a big ben came to the store, and he said in an atmospheric manner: "I want to be better, and don't bring me cheap ones!" I took out the Xiaomi Mi 10pro of the 5999 and said: "If this is not liked, there are ten thousand Apples and twenty thousand three stars." The uncle suddenly looked up and asked, "How much is this?" "Me:" This is the highest configuration, 5999. The uncle put down his mobile phone: "So expensive?" I only need 1000 or so! "I really want to record the first thing he just said and put it on him!"

5. The female colleague said: "Brother, my computer is broken, after eating to help me see what is going on!" "I said okay. After eating, I followed my female colleague to her house, and the computer could not be turned on. The female colleague said: "Brother, the computer is not in a hurry, we say conversation!" "I said no, take care of the computer first, and then do something else." I was a computer student, and I thought it would be easy to solve, but her computer problem was serious, and it was not fixed from 8 to 10 pm. Female colleagues have said many times don't fix it, I don't agree, look down on who ah, as if I really can't get it right.?? Later, it was almost midnight, I really hadn't gotten it right, and when I was angry and planned to go home, my female colleague pulled me aside and said, "Brother, are you stupid, you tossed around for so long just to fix a computer?" And then it hasn't been fixed yet! I immediately got angry, picked up her computer, and said, "I'll take it home and fix it!" "Saying, despite her obstruction, I will leave, ahem, even if it is not all night, I have to fix it for her." It is strange to say that when I arrived at my house, the power supply was plugged in, and the computer was instantly better. I suddenly wondered, before booting, do you turn on the socket power first?

6. My cousin went to work in a foreign country last month, and he came back in three days, and brought a beautiful-looking girl who said it was his girlfriend. Then within a week they had their wedding, and when it was time for the bride to toast her mother-in-law's tea, the celebrant asked, "What should I call?" The bride laughed and shouted, "Mom! The emcee asked again, "What about two voices?" The bride still laughed: "Mom! The emcee was not dead-hearted: "How is it called three voices?" Bride: "Good mother! The emcee looked shocked: "What about the four voices?" The bride was stunned, thought for half a day, and held out a sentence: "Mother gives money!" ” ?

7. In the morning, before I got up, my wife went out to cook, and after a while my mother pulled me up and secretly said, "When are you going to go to the hospital for examination?" How do you live like this? "I'm confused! What to check? Why can't I get by? Did last night... I was very nervous and asked, "Mom, what do I check?" My mother slapped me on the head: "Go check your airway!" I don't know when you will snore, and still make such a loud noise, how will your daughter-in-law sleep? I almost cried: "Mom, that purr was caused by your daughter-in-law, I can't snore at all!" ”

8. Go shopping with my girlfriend at 10:30 to send her back to the dormitory, walk downstairs, I asked the security guard: "Big brother, can you still go in now?" The security guard glared at my girlfriend and said, "Okay, let's go in!" Then I turned to my girlfriend and said, "What to do, it's too late, can't go in, or let's go to the hotel!" The girlfriend didn't seem to believe it, so she also ran over to the security guard and asked, "Uncle, can we go in?" The security guard glanced at me and said, "Yes." Then my girlfriend turned to me and said, "I really can't get in, so let's go!" ”

9. In the ice cream parlor, the waiter brought a glass of lemonade and asked, "Sir, what do you want to eat?" I took a sip of water, opened the menu and looked over it, looked up at her and asked, "Is there a knife to cut the noodles?" She first looked surprised, and then said unceremoniously, "This is not a Shanxi noodle restaurant!" I smiled and said, "I'm sorry, I went into the wrong shop." After saying that, I walked out, feeling less thirsty than I had just been.

10. There is a farmer who takes care of a large farm by himself and has a few horses. One day, the farmer got married, and after the wedding he took his wife to visit every corner of his farm and decided to ask her to help take care of the horses. In the evening, the pony asked the old horse: "Farmer's wife, what do you think, can you give a few points?" The old horse said, "Give the grass ten points, but not the grass zero points." ”

11. After eating, see a man and a woman downstairs are playing by the pool in front of the building, the pool is stocked with goldfish, the girl is shooting with her mobile phone, iPhone phone. Suddenly the girl slipped her hand and didn't catch it, and the mobile phone fell into the pool! The girl estimated that she was frightened there, and the man next to her screamed bitterly: I am concave! My salary last month! The girl turned her head and looked at the brother pitifully, and then the brother said very sadly: I am a concave! My salary for next month!