1. The husband's pension is more than 10,000 a month, and he has saved for three years. Yesterday, the old man took 3 passbooks to the bank and said: The password 991206, and I will get 3 million funds. cabinet

1. The husband's pension is more than 10,000 a month, and he has saved for three years. Yesterday, the old man took 3 passbooks to the bank and said: The password 991206, and I will get 3 million funds. The teller was very happy and immediately took out 3 million yuan and bought the fund. After 10 minutes, the teller said: Sir, I have bought you 3 million funds. The old man was dumbfounded on the spot: What fund? I'm asking you to withdraw your money and buy a house for my son!

2, I have a distant cousin to read high school, belongs to the kind of play learning, the results are still super good bully, almost started school, I see his homework is not written to help him write, wrote for three days before he saw, holding the book grateful to zero: Sister, a problem is not right, how do you do it? Embarrassed to death.

3, my brother, a few years ago, there was a car accident. The calf was amputated, and the doctor installed a prosthesis. Go out in the morning and see an old man fall to the ground, surrounded by lively people! He thought that so many people were watching, it should be all right, so he went to help the old man and put his arm around his leg, threatening that you had bumped me into me! Holding the legs of the brothers was dead or alive and refusing to let go, and as a result, he listened to a click, and the old man dragged his feet to the back when he saw it! It's big. I saw that the old man jumped up and ran! Run that fast!

4. Yesterday, the teacher assigned an essay to his son and classmates called "My Grandfather". When writing homework, my son opened the essay and saw an essay called "My Sister". So, he changed all the sisters inside to grandpa. The next day, the teacher invited his father-in-law to the classroom and read his composition in class: "I have a lovely grandfather, he wears two pigtails and wears a jade skirt, very beautiful ..."

5. Feeling that the salary in the electronics factory was too low, he resigned to become a bus driver. When I stopped at the station today, a grandfather with a live chicken came up. Uncle squeezed the bus, and ended up rubbing the beautiful woman's skirt of the chicken SHI. The beautiful woman was angry at that time, scolded when she opened her mouth, and apologized in various ways. The beauty has not been spared, and the uncle said angrily: How much money, I bought it! Beauty: Hmm, 480 bucks, this is what I just bought. Uncle took out his wallet, counted 500 yuan, and said: Take it off, you don't have to look for change.

6, working in the company, I heard my colleague and his girlfriend on the phone, the phone was particularly loud, so I could hear it clearly. He deliberately teased his girlfriend: Hello, whose good baby are you, and what is your name? His girlfriend replied on the other side of the phone: Daddy, I am your baby, I am looking for the most handsome and gentle father in the world! My colleague smiled triumphantly at me, and as I listened to the little milky voice, my heart was soft, and I picked up my phone and called my girlfriend. As soon as the phone rang, I deliberately asked: Who are you? The girlfriend replied impatiently over there: Daddy, you should not be a fool! Son! Doodle......?

7. The aunt owed Alipay 120,000 yuan that year, and after her uncle helped her repay, she did not want the bride price to marry her uncle, and lived a happy life after marriage. Last night, my aunt snuggled up to my uncle and said: Which of my good points, why do you want to help me pay back the shellfish? Uncle said: You are good at every point, but two points are not good. The aunt asked: Which two points are not good? The uncle said: This is not good, that is not good. The aunt was about to get angry when she heard this, and the uncle continued: "But you have one thing that you are very good, and no one else can compare." Aunt asked: Which point? The uncle replied slowly and leisurely: You have a mature and stable, gentle and considerate, talented eight buckets, learned five cars, funny and humorous good husband. The aunt listened and kicked the uncle down the window.??

8. My father used the 200,000 yuan for my daughter-in-law to buy a purebred Tibetan mastiff. After raising several puppies for half a year, the puppies were born half a month ago, and one of them did not open his eyes. I asked my father, "Daddy, why doesn't this puppy open his eyes?" The father said, "You give it a coin to try!" "I did what my father said, and sure enough, the next day, the puppy opened his eyes. I wondered, "What's going on?" The father said: "People see money with open eyes, and this dog is naturally no exception!" ”

9. After the abbot returned to the customs, he went to work in a decoration company. A few days ago, a 10-year-old employee of the company resigned, and everyone felt sorry. The female colleague opposite the abbot cried directly, and the abbot felt a little curious, so he asked, "Girl, this matter will not be in tears, right?" The female colleague said: "For 10 years, every morning at 9 o'clock, to 6:30 pm, ten hours, we all sit together, not counting overtime, if you subtract the traffic time on the road, the time to sleep at night, I and my husband are not with him more time, just like this, he left his job, and even did not invite us to dinner?" ”

10. Buy pancakes and fruits on the snack street to eat. I said to my boss, "The boss helped me put more green onions and coriander." The boss said expressionlessly: "Yes, that will add fifty cents more." There was a handsome man right next to him: "I don't want coriander and green onions, give her my share directly, so I don't have to charge her money." I was looking at me with a grateful look, and the goods said to me, "Just give me the fifty cents." ”

11. The compensation for the demolition of the brothers' hometowns is 120 million, and the brothers immediately became the second generation of the rich and lived a life of drunken gold fans. He drove his newly purchased Lamborghini around the bar all day and yesterday he spoke to a girl who said the two were very close. In order to show himself, he said that his father was very rich and would be his own in the future! After chatting for a while and asking about his family situation, there was no contact. Later, the so-called fate was unfortunately said by himself, and this girl became the stepmother of the brothers...?

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