My girlfriend fell in love with Fu Er Dai and had to break up with me. I tearfully agreed and said that I would never interact with her again in my life. The next day, a text message on my phone prompted me that there were 500 left on my couple's party call

My girlfriend fell in love with Fu Er Dai and had to break up with me. I tearfully agreed and said that I would never interact with her again in my life. The next day, a text message from my phone suggested that my couple had 500 minutes left on the call. I quickly texted her: Our couple's pie call has 500 minutes left, do we want to make up for another day? Girlfriend seconds back: OK, can't move cheaply...

2, three children boast about their grandfather by the river. A said: My grandfather is particularly watery, and he can dive in the water for 10 minutes! B said: My grandfather is the best, once he dived in the water for 20 minutes, no one can compare! C said: Your grandfather is not ok, my grandfather sneaked down from here twenty years ago, and he has not yet come up!

3, the thing I have been worried about has happened, I forgot to bring the keys to the house. OTL originally opened the A-class lock of my house in only two seconds, he suggested that I change the C-class lock, the professional needs more than 240 minutes to open. I hesitated for a moment to ask if there was a better lock, after all, there was enough time to open it. The master recommended the E-class lock cylinder, 8 holes of the snake shape, professionals will directly give up when they see it. I said that's it! Tonight at minus 6 degrees, I was shivering in the hallway. The locksmith next to him frowned.

4, son: "Dad, I want to be a programmer." Father: "Oh, then you buy 40 kilograms of flour first!" Son: "Huh? Why? How do I move alone? Father: "Find your own way." Done in 20 minutes! Son: "Time is too short!" Father: "Also, don't have flour." To get corn flour. There are 5 minutes left. Son: "The requirements have changed too much!" Father: "Son, I don't think you can be a programmer." ”

5. Worked in the workshop of midea group for 3 years, and finally was promoted to the director of the workshop. Although the salary rose to 75,000, he had to work overtime every night. Once I worked overtime until 1 o'clock in the morning, I was alone at the door of the company waiting for didi Car master to pick me up. A Lincoln navigator suddenly stopped in front of me, and a deep man's voice came from inside the car: "Bald man over there!" What's the way to the academy? "I looked around and there was no one at all. I felt goosebumps all over my body, which scared me into running!

6. After graduating from Northwest University, my father arranged for me to work in his company. After a few days, Dad asked me to help him recruit a female secretary. The first session is a written test, 50 questions, requiring 3 minutes to turn in the paper. It is impossible to finish it within a limited time, but in fact, Dad has other arrangements. Dad wrote a row of small letters at the bottom of the exam paper: You only need to do the first and third questions. After handing in the papers, Dad threw away all the people who had only done the first and third questions. I asked my father why I was puzzled, but my father laughed and said nothing...

7, yesterday a male colleague was 30 minutes late for work, was educated by the boss, and then he has been lying on the seat, and there are several beautiful female colleagues to comfort him. Today I was also late for work, 3 minutes, also educated, and then back to my seat has no one to comfort me, just when I want to look up, only to hear a few female colleagues shouting: "Boss, he goes to work and sleeps!"

8, a strange number sent me a message: "Dad, my living expenses are gone, you call me a few hundred more, or the original number XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX I was stunned for 5 seconds, and then I went back to the past: "Child, are you from the future?" Can you tell me when I can meet your mother? ”

9, girlfriend is unwell, go to the doctor. Girlfriend: Doctor, my relatives have come, it has been almost a month since they left, what the hell is going on? Doctor: Put your hand out and I'll give you a pulse. Half a minute later, the doctor found nothing unusual... Suddenly he looked at his girlfriend's hand and said: When you go back, trim your nails!

10, to say a few years ago encountered a mess, then and the dormitory buddies in the morning to the park exercise, the park in the elderly morning exercise is very much, we found that there is a grandfather legs hanging on the horizontal bar upside down for more than ten minutes without moving, with curiosity to go over to see what the uncle practiced, walked to the uncle's side, the uncle held a red face and said to me, the young man helped me down

1 After resigning from the original factory, I went to a foreign company for an interview. I got up early in the morning and went to eat a bowl of noodles at a noodle shop near the factory. When it came time for the interview, the examiner stared at me for more than a minute and then asked: "The beef noodles you ate in the morning?" I immediately panicked, will eating beef noodles affect the interview? I began to tremble nervously, and the examiner said slowly: I also eat snow noodles in the morning, and I line up behind you!

12, it is very late, I am still in front of the TV, refusing to make dinner. My husband was really hungry, but he didn't want to go out of the kitchen, so he threatened me: "If I don't cook anymore, I'll go out to eat!" I said, "Wait a minute, the clock will be fine." The husband wondered: "What to do so fast?" I said, "I'll go change my clothes and go with you." ”　　

13, my girl, Valentine's Day night, I and my boyfriend went out to play, came home a little late. Opening the door of the house with light hands and feet, Dad was already sitting in the hall with a serious face, and stopping me was a scolding... A few minutes later, my brother also sneaked back. I smiled darkly, and my brother came back to share the firepower. Dad looked up at my brother and said, "Coming back so early?" It's useless! ”

14, I don't know if there is anyone like me, dozing off when driving on the highway, the general method is not very effective, such as pinching yourself, smoking, washing your face with water, the above methods are only a few minutes and then dozing off, I will not tell you I eat a bite of mustard, like playing chicken blood!