I met my daughter-in-law at the bar, and we both got drunk that night, and the next day when we woke up drunk, we found that we were sleeping in the same bed and married her. Last night, when she got home from shopping, she said happily: I take the bus

I met my daughter-in-law at the bar, and we both got drunk that night, and the next day when we woke up drunk, we found that we were sleeping in the same bed and married her. Last night, when she arrived home after shopping, she said happily: I saw a skirt under the seat when I was on the bus! Then she looked at it, the size was right, and the skirt was beautiful. I was also very happy, and the next day I talked about it in the company and saw that everyone was looking weird. One of the girls said quietly: I bought more expensive clothes and told my family this way.

2 Last night I was sitting on the bed after taking a shower, and my husband walked in from outside, and he leaned into my ear and said vaguely: "Later, Lao Tzu will let you feel what is the breath of a man!" "I was shy and embarrassed to look up at him, and then he shoved stinky socks in front of my nose...

3 The director called his wife at night on a business trip. After chatting a few words, my wife said: "Go to bed early, I am too tired today..." The director: "How did I hear that there were other people in the house?" Wife: "You are on a business trip with me alone, a little afraid, called the girlfriend Qinren to come and accompany me, what's wrong?" Don't believe me yet, or I'll ask the piano man to talk to you twice! Director: "No, I believe you, go to bed early!" After putting down the phone, the director looked at the sleeping relatives around him, smoked a cigarette all night, and then fell ill... This story tells us that smoking is harmful to health!

4 Last night friends please go to KTV, each of them called a chick. The man sitting next to me was pretty, and in the middle she touched my handlebar and played with it, singing a few songs together. At the end, she put her face against my face and said a word: It is not easy to earn some money, don't come to this kind of place in the future, look at the cocoon on your hand, save some money for your sister-in-law and children.

5 There is a female colleague in the company who owes me ten thousand yuan, and every time I ask her for it, every time I drop a sentence: I don't want money, and someone can give it to you. Every time I wondered: What use do I want you to use you for a big living person? This no, the female colleague came to me again, I thought she figured out the money for me, did not expect the female colleague to say: Brother, discuss with you about a matter of no, you see, I do not have so much money to pay you back for the time being, otherwise, I will give you a girlfriend, and then pay you back the money in installments until it is paid off.

I thought to myself: if the money is not returned, I can change my girlfriend and go home, so I agreed. That night she stayed at my house with her luggage. But she didn't break her promise, and every day before I went out, she would throw me a ten-dollar bill, and the condition for receiving this huge amount of money was that she would wash and cook for her every day, and more importantly, the money was still paid from my pay card. Those who owe money are uncles, and I believe this!

6 Ex-girlfriends love IG very much and I'm a fan of RNG. We often quarreled over this matter, and finally broke up. After the breakup, I was particularly lonely, so I raised a two-ha to accompany me. That time I took Erha for a walk in the park, and a golden retriever ran out of nowhere and came at me! Erha and the dog had a fierce bite, and I saw that Erha was at a disadvantage, so he quickly picked up the bricks on the ground and aimed at the dog's head and shot it. A brick came down, successfully knocked Erha unconscious, Erha ignored me for a week...

7 In the evening, after work, I went to the KTV with a few colleagues to drink, and they were all about to drink, and when everyone was ready to get up and leave, the power suddenly stopped. Just when I was struggling with whether to sneak in the dark or go with them, and no one paid for it, just when the call came. This scene in front of me directly made me dumbfounded, and I was the only one in the room. Alas, these are some unrighteous people...

8 Usually I leave work early, so the task of picking up my son from school falls on me, one day I went to pick up this bastard boy from school, on the way back, on the side of the road, my son bought two strings of fried chicken steak, handed me a string and said: Let's eat alone today, don't tell my mother. Although I thought this was not good, I also agreed, and when I finished eating, I saw my daughter-in-law, and my son said: Mom, I made a mistake today, and my father and I bought chicken steaks and ate them secretly. Because my son had the courage to admit his mistake, his pocket money rose by ten yuan, and the result was that because of this bastard boy, my pocket money dropped by hundreds of dollars!

9 The owner's daughter is in her freshman year this year. Last night the boss's daughter received a strange text message, saying: Xiaomei, from the first time I saw you, I liked you! The boss's daughter was overjoyed, but still very calmly replied: Who are you, when did you first see me? After a while, I wrote a letter saying: On the first day of school, I saw you and your family come to school to report that the dress you wore that day was particularly beautiful! The boss's daughter was stunned for two seconds and angrily scolded: Roll! I didn't wear a skirt that day, and the one who wore the skirt was my mother!

10 The husband and the mother-in-law divorced because of the incompatibility of feelings, and after marriage, the husband went to marry a wife. The two gave birth to a son, and the brother-in-law went to the first year of junior high this year. On this day, the old man called the teacher and asked: Teacher, how is my son's historical performance, and my history score has not been good when I was studying before. The teacher replied: History is repeating itself.

11 My husband came back early from a business trip, and as soon as he entered the door, he hugged me and was anxious to make love, so I quickly pushed him away. He said, "Honey, you help me pay back 200 yuan to Xiao Li's wife downstairs." Half an hour later, my husband came back with a swollen half of his face, and Tie Qing sat on the sofa with his face and didn't say a word. I asked him what was wrong, my husband: "When I handed the money to Xiao Li's wife, I was beaten by a strange man!" ”