"Dear Child" saw 26 episodes, Fang Yinuo and Xiao Lu failed to test tube babies, and the two "are coming for real"! Xie Tianhua lost, Dong Fan lost, and we unmarried young people also lost!
Although I can't accept this violation of principle, others can distort a person's bottomless selfishness into "the greatness of maternal love or fatherly love" by saying "it is all for the sake of children, only if the parents can understand", as an unmarried youth, I can only dare to think or dare not speak.
It turns out that for the sake of children, you can unscrupulously hurt the innocent incumbent, you can not put the current feelings in your eyes, you can violate the basic principles of society, and you can have another child with your predecessor, and use the child as a tool to save another child.
Fang Yinuo wants to abandon Xie Tianhua, who sold the house for him to save his daughter, and Xiao Lu did not divorce but wanted Dong Fan to accept that he had children with other women, and in doing so, many people felt that it was understandable, and the current one should bear this, and it was reasonable to sacrifice his entirety for the sake of his predecessor's children.
Seeing the comments on the bullet screen, I panicked, many unmarried young people also panicked, and my three views also changed, even if the child's leukemia is a small probability event, but the problems faced by remarried families will never disappear.
After watching "Dear Child", my biggest feeling is that I will never marry a divorced and baby person in the future, not because of selfishness, but precisely because I am responsible for myself and my family.
1, to raise children for others, than to raise their own children, not necessarily mature
Raising children is a very difficult process, and raising children for others is deepened by two or three points to this degree of difficulty, and raising well may not necessarily be appreciated, but it will be deeply criticized if it is not raised well.
In this drama, Xie Tianhua is like an angel-like existence, and the other party's deep affection for ten years has finally been given the opportunity to spend the rest of his life with his beloved after Fang Yinuo's divorce.
Originally thought that this was a bitter end, but I didn't know that this was the beginning of Xie Tianhua becoming a great wrong, in Fang Yinuo and Xie Tianhua, I had never seen the greatness of love, more is the bitterness of life and the innocence of Xie Tianhua.
Fang Yinuo and Xie Tianhua's marriage, the original motive is not pure, from the perspective of a mother, Fang Yinuo did this, there is nothing wrong with it, as a single mother, the child's happiness is always more important than their own happiness.
Regardless of whether Xie Tianhua loves her or not, the most important thing is that Xie Tianhua is sincerely good to Hehe, is a really good person, with the child to live with him, in the future, there is no need to worry about Hehe will suffer, let alone worry about Xie Tianhua is not good for Hehe, this is Fang Yinuo's most ruthless calculation.
However, from Xie Tianhua's point of view, the price paid for this unilateral love is too great, Xie Tianhua is a single unmarried man with good conditions, and there are girls with good conditions around him, not that he can't marry a wife.
However, he stubbornly chose Fang Yinuo, Xie Tianhua's sister Xie Dan was very upset with his brother, and he was also very distressed about his brother, from the perspective of a bystander, Xie Tianhua's "transaction" was very uneconomical, Xie Dan repeatedly embarrassed Fang Yinuo, could not accept her, she showed off to Fang Yinuo:
Fang Yinuo, I don't like you, I don't accept you, I feel a loss for my brother, I feel worthless for my brother, my brother is a big guy, what kind of girl can't marry ah, but he doesn't even have his own children, every day to raise children for you, why, I hurt him!
Xie Tianhua gave Fang Yinuo a child, the process is indeed very difficult, in order to make Fang Yinuo accept him, he went to great lengths to please Hehe, let Hehe accept him, and then carefully confessed to Fang Yinuo, repeatedly assuring that "although he has not been a father, he will try to be a good father and let Fang Yinuo believe in him."
Xie Tianhua's posture of love is too humble, after marrying Fang Yinuo, Xie Tianhua is even more painstakingly caring for Hehe and pleasing Fang Yinuo, for this reason, Xie Tianhua has fallen out with his closest relatives many times, and Fang Yinuo in this process, more attention to his own and Hehe's feelings, less concern for Xie Tianhua.
Fang Yinuo in the second marriage, compared to the first marriage, became a lot more sensible, many things have made the in-laws of the family, but also spent time to please the in-laws, some people say that Fang Yinuo is changed through the first marriage, but I do not think so, Fang Yinuo did not change, because she treats Xiao Lu and Xiao Lu's family, or as always arrogant and stubborn.
Fang Yinuo's change is entirely caused by the change of the situation, she married into the Xie family with her baby in her second marriage, without the sense of superiority that she originally married Xiao Lu, naturally she could not be as high as Xiao Lu's family, there was no one in sight, for Hehe, she had to endure, only if she did not have a hard confrontation with others, Hehe would have a good life.
The Xie family is not the kind of person who has a lot of hearts and eyes, looking at Fang Yinuo is better for everyone, he also sincerely accepts Hehe and treats Hehe as if he is biological, but it seems that he is not like his own, because more often, they are a little more careful, they never dare to say anything like Hui Hui, they only dare to say good, do not dare to say bad.
Xie Tianhua was even more embarrassed, although he said that he was treated as his own daughter, he never dared to have a bad face, he could only be good to her, even if he was disobedient, he did not dare to say, even so, Fang Yinuo was still not at ease with Xie Tianhua and did not trust him.
Xie Tianhua took Hehe to see XiaoLu, originally for Hehe's better physical and mental development, but also for Hehe to grow up in the future without regrets, not to resent Fang Yinuo, but in Fang Yinuo's view, it is Xie Tianhua who is unwilling to bear the responsibility of raising Hehe, and she and Xie Tianhua have a showdown:
A while ago, did you take Hehe to see Xiao Lu, I saw the toys that Xiao Lu bought for Hehe, I didn't blame you, I wouldn't blame you, I saw that list that day, I was very angry, and then I figured it out myself, After all, Hehe is not your own child, there is no reason to share these for others!
Fang Yinuolian said two "no strange", which means that Xie Tianhua did this, that is, it was wrong, and then said that she was angry, but felt that there was no need, that is, she knew that Xie Tianhua did not regard Hehe as her own daughter, but she was generous and did not blame Xie Tianhua! Fang Yinuo's words are heartfelt.
From Hehe into the Xie family door, Xie Tianhua and his family, pay more to Hehe than to their own flesh and blood Huihui, in exchange for not Fang Yinuo's gratitude, but "generous forgiveness", this "unfamiliar" feelings, after all, still have to be a stepfather to bear.
After Hehe fell ill, according to human nature, the Xie family should immediately throw this hot potato out, but they took out all their savings and helped Fang Yinuo to heal the child together, Xie Tianhua did not hesitate to sell the house, everyone thought of Fang Yinuo and Hehe, and Fang Yinuo did not have everyone in his heart, only Hehe.
She wants to divorce Xie Tianhua, and Xiao Lu has a new child, and the showdown of Yinuo before the divorce says her attitude towards Xie Tianhua:
When I first married you, I just wanted to find a father for Hehe, I didn't love you, and now Xiao Lu can't divorce me, I just want to save Hehe, let's still divorce!
In Fang Yinuo's words, she said these words to make Xie Tianhua die, but this is indeed the real reason why she chose Xie Tianhua and left Xie Tianhua, in her heart, Xie Tianhua can always be sacrificed and used, because she is a great mother, so others must understand her pain.
Xie Tianhua and Fang Yinuo's combination, consumed Xie Tianhua's human and financial resources, he invested all his true feelings, and finally in exchange for Fang Yinuo's sentence "I want to give up you and go to save Hehe", in the blink of an eye, Fang Yinuo's parents kidnapped Xie Tianhua with morality, continued to do a big wrong, do not leave Fang Yinuo, and sure enough, for the sake of children, parents can hurt others bottomlessly.
Fang Yinuo and her parents are the same selfish as Xie Dan, and Xie Dan has to be blamed by countless people, why is this, is it because Xie Tianhua should? Born to owe a promise?
Fang Yinuo's child is a child, and xie Tianhua is not the child of someone else's parents? Isn't it someone else's closest relative? Xie Tianhua is willing to be the wronged head, and his family is upset with him, is there something wrong?
To raise children for others, it is difficult to raise, the greater probability is not familiar, Xie Tianhua is very lucky, he finally won Hehe a sincere "father", looking at Hehe when he is in pain, it seems that everything is worth it, but if Hehe knows that his father is Xiao Lu, will she continue to treat Xie Tianhua like this?
In reality, there are not many such examples, hard work to raise other people's children, and finally the children ran to recognize their own biological parents, I have my own personal experience, my grandmother came to my grandfather's house with an eight-month-old baby boy, after my grandfather was raised, he became a white-eyed wolf, he married his daughter-in-law to build a house, he did not honor my grandfather for a day, not even the sound of "daddy" was not called, after my grandfather died, he did not wear ma dai filial piety, he felt that it was not his father, the old man worked hard, in exchange for a lesson: raising children for others , never cooked! But it was too late, it had exhausted my life, and there was no room for regret.
Although there are also gratitude, but not much, everyone understands that nurturing grace is greater than deep gratitude, but everyone chooses blood thicker than water, returning to family affection, like Xie Tianhua, Fang Yinuo is with him, Hehe naturally recognizes this father, Fang Yinuo is not with Xie Tianhua, Hehe naturally will not cross his mother, to recognize this father, this is the reality!
2, the child will always be the first, the current idea is unreasonable to make trouble
Stepfather is difficult, stepmother is even more difficult, stepfather no matter how to say, it is a family to deal with two people, and if a woman marries a divorced man with children, becoming a stepmother, it will be much more difficult than a man being a stepmother, because you are a foreigner, and people are flesh and blood affection.
As a woman, you and the child will spend more time together, and if the child has a memory, it will always be to his own mother, it is difficult to cover the heat, once you have a conflict with the child, your husband, towards his child, you must be generous and tolerant, once you have emotions, it is unreasonable to make trouble, even a child is not as good.
Relatively speaking, like Dong Fan, marrying a divorced man without children, there are many fewer contradictions, compared to those second-married families who live together, Dong Fan also has a chip, that is, he has feelings with Xiao Lu, but even so, so what? Still can't be compared with other people's flesh and blood affection.
Dong Fan for Xiao Lu, just like an angel-like existence, young and beautiful, gentle and considerate, has his own career, has a good family situation, such a salty and sweet little wife, xiao Lu has cultivated several lifetimes of blessings to marry, according to the reason to cherish is, but Xiao Lu did not.
Xiao Lu after the failure of the first marriage, is a change, there will be more companionship and care for the family, will also undertake some housework, Dong Fan's thoughtfulness, healed the shadow of a marriage on Xiao Road, she is like her own family to Xiao Lu's family, Xiao Lu no matter what he does, Dong Fan supports understanding.
If there is no accident, the marriage between Dong Fan and Xiao Lu should be happy, but Hehe is ill, Dong Fan was immediately beaten into the "cold palace", Xiao Lu's whole heart is on Hehe, he threw Dong Fan aside, regardless of Dong Fan's feelings, do not care about Dong Fan's life.
It turned out that Xiao Lu would accompany Dong Fan to watch movies, cook together, and go back to Xiao's house to eat together, because of Hehe, these things were canceled, Dong Fan did not blame Xiao Lu, and understood him very well;
Dong Fan understands Xiao Lu's sense of responsibility for the child, when he was in love, Xiao Lu secretly went to see Hehe every time, and also messed up the work, Dong Fan not only did not blame Xiao Lu, but also blamed the boss for not being close to people;
Xiao Lu and Dong Fan are newly married, have made a honeymoon travel plan, the air tickets and hotels have been booked, and when they learned that Hehe was ill, Dong Fan immediately and sensibly cancelled these tickets;
Originally, the two people had already looked after a house, Dong Fan liked it very much, and immediately planned to sign a contract, for hehe, Xiao Lu did not plan to buy it, he wanted to take the money to treat the disease, Dong Fan did not say anything;
Dong Fan gave in again and again for the sake of Hehe, and even accompanied his mother-in-law to the hospital to see Hehe, but in the end, what was exchanged was not Xiao Lu's thoughtfulness and gratitude, but to make inches.
She and Xiao Lu's new marriage, became a "widow", every day a person to eat, a person to go home from work, sometimes make a good meal to please Xiao Lu, in exchange for Xiao Lu's impatience, even if two people lie on the bed, Xiao Lu does not look at her, Dong Fan silently bears everything alone.
The people in the unit said to Dong Fan that she was the third superior of the little one, the vicious harem, Xiao Lu heard this, and did not have any reaction, and even more did not have half a heartache for his wife, thinking about Hehe wholeheartedly, and threw Dong Fan on the road.
Hehe matching failed, Xiao Lu proposed to have a child with Fang Yinuo, but did not divorce Dong Fan, he wanted both bear paws and fish, he wanted to have children to save Hehe, and dong Fan and he wanted to bear everything.
In Xiao Lu's heart, Dong Fan is not a person with feelings, it seems to be an emotionless robot, when he wants it, he can automatically disappear when he doesn't want it.
Dong Fan's marriage and lifelong happiness were all ruined by her husband and the children of her predecessor, she sat alone in the movie theater, crying and watching the movie, crying and stuffing the popcorn in her hand into her mouth, desperately hiding her sadness, but more and more sad, and finally thought of divorce.
However, Xiao Lu was so selfish that he was unwilling to even divorce, maintained a marriage relationship with the current one, and had children with his ex-wife "in real combat", planning to drag Dong Fan's selfishness, which no one could match.
Dong Fan has a good life, has a good look, youth, talent and family lineage, could have married a better person, single-mindedly for her, but chose a divorced man without a sense of responsibility, bringing endless pain.
She chose Xiao Lu, purely because she was confused by the illusion, Dong Fan once said to her colleagues, when she saw Xiao Lu care so much about the child, she was very moved, she felt that Xiao Lu was a very responsible man, marrying Xiao Lu, more was moved by the sense of responsibility in him.
However, what finally pushed Dong Fan into the abyss was Precisely Xiao Lu's damn "sense of responsibility", it turned out that he only had a sense of responsibility for his daughter, because he had guilt, so he wanted to make up for it, but whether it was for the previous family or the current family, Xiao Lu lacked a sense of responsibility.
When his wife gave birth to a child, he could sleep at home regardless of it, but now that the child is sick, he has left Dong Fan alone and thrown himself on the child, completely disregarding Dong Fan's feelings, and even more disregarding other people's gossip about Dong Fan.
Koiwakawa said: A person who is good to a pet does not mean that he is good to others; being righteous to a brother does not mean that he will be devoted to his lover; filial piety to his parents does not mean being docile to his wife. Many times, one thing can only represent one thing, and people always like to use too many associations to fill their expectations of another person.
Xiao Lu is the kind of person who is not bad for his brothers, filial piety to his parents, and responsible for his children, but he is always the kind of person who lacks care for his wife, and Dong Fan's biggest mistake is to mistakenly associate Xiao Lu's sense of responsibility for his children with his wife's sense of responsibility for the family, which has led to her bearing so much.
Just imagine, a man who makes trouble with his ex-wife and does not even let his children see, how much sense of responsibility can he have, a man who cheated on himself in marriage, what love can he have, Dong Fan likes Xiao Lu, more is to see Xiao Lu's "weakness", produce a kind of "maternal love" behavior, want to use love to warm Xiao Lu.
The result is not to warm Xiao Lu, but to harden herself, so women should never feel that they are different from their ex, and will become a woman who can change him, can take him out of the shadow of life, and make him better, instead of this, it is better to choose a man who can give you warmth, rather than asking you to give warmth.
3, married to the second marriage, you will never be alone
Xie Tianhua and Dong Fan are both victims of the second-marriage family, and in front of other people's children, they are always the one who is abandoned, but their choice hurts not only themselves, but also their families.
Fang Yinuo married Xie Tianhua, hesitant to give him a child, nothing more than afraid of the child's origin, so that she can not take care of Hehe, when the Xie family people like their own flesh and blood, Hehe will be snubbed, for Hehe, she let other people's only son have no queen, Fang Yinuo's behavior, is not selfish and what is it?
When Xie Dan asked Xie Tianhua, if Fang Yinuo really appreciates you, why don't you give the Xie family a child, the expression of the second elder of the Xie family, as well as Xie Tianhua's expression, are meaningful, more helpless, they don't want their own flesh and bones, but for Fang Yinuo's feelings, they are not willing to say it.
Every time Xie Dan said something, in fact, there was nothing wrong with it, but he was accused again and again, but no one stood in her position and thought, who is willing to put up such a person, let his family cut off his children and grandchildren, and drag down everyone.
Xie Tianhua sold the house, Xie Tianhua's parents took out the coffin in order to save Hehe, and Fang Yinuo resolutely decided to divorce for Hehe, in front of reality, human nature is at a glance, who is really selfish, it goes without saying.
Dong Fan is the same, at the same time that she was injured, her parents' hearts were also broken, although they did not say anything, but silently gave the child a house, did not say it explicitly, but hinted at the daughter:
Can't stand it, don't have to endure, there is no Xiao Lu, and Mom and Dad, Mom and Dad will always be a solid backing!
If Dong Fan is divorced, his parents will definitely die of heartache, his daughter who has worked hard to cultivate like a little princess, made a stepmother for others, and finally became a victim of marriage, which parent does not feel sorry for his children, is Fang Yinuo's maternal love great?
In the end, no matter whether the two couples divorced or not, the damage caused could never be repaired, even if Hehe found a match, Xie Tianhua and Dong Fan's hearts were also full of holes, after all, once, the person they loved deeply was so decisive and determined to sacrifice them!
As a single young man, to marry the second marriage person, really be cautious, must anticipate the problems that will occur later in advance, if you can fully accept, do not care, then you can also choose the siege of the second marriage, the second marriage family, although there are many contradictions, but there are also a lot of happiness, after all, the last marriage suffered, will become the honey of the next marriage, the second marriage of the person, more understand the pain.