1, girlfriend recently practiced, but the coach died, the throttle to the death, and do not remember to step on the brakes, this day the coach is particularly calm, did not scold her, did not help her step on the brakes, girlfriend trembling

1, girlfriend recently practiced, can put the coach to death, the throttle to the death, and do not remember to step on the brakes, this day the coach is particularly calm, did not scold her, did not help her step on the brakes, girlfriend trembling and driving, a sharp brake, girlfriend looked at the coach next to the coach in horror, coach are you have any heart? The coach said calmly, nothing, just don't want to live.

2, The National Day holiday, I drove from Xiamen to my hometown in Chongqing alone, called my husband, said that I was about to reach the junction of the two provinces, and I was anxious. The husband smiled and said: It's okay, drive to the service area, take a break, go to the bathroom. I said, "But it's blocked." Husband was shocked: blocked? Blocked by what? I was in a hurry: What do you think? I mean the traffic jam, the traffic jam!

3. Eat with two friends. One said he would quit his job in a few years to open a barbecue restaurant, and the other said he would quit his job in a few years to open a bookstore. I said that the two of you had such a good relationship that we could just get together and open a barbecue bookstore: customers could bring their own or buy books that they particularly hated on the spot to use as fuel for barbecue. The good flesh is nourished with oil on the top, the nasty book is burning below, and the material and spiritual satisfaction are great at the same time.

4, remember when I was a child in the village to go to school, the afternoon nap is lying on the table to sleep, every day a person takes turns to supervise everyone, and then there is a strange person who does not know what crazy brain smokes, in order to verify that others are sleeping, one by one to open the eyes to check, well the whole class woke up, almost did not get killed ...

5. A and B drink and chat in the bar. A: "If the economy continues to be sluggish, it will be difficult to support your family..." B: "How many children do you have?" A: "5." B: "Oh my God, 5 is really not good to raise!" A: "Children are a small problem, what worries me is the children's 5 mothers." ”

6, the first love girlfriend of three years disliked me and could not afford to drive a Maserati, so I ran away with an AC MEMBER who drove a Ferrari. After about a month, my girlfriend suddenly came back to me. She said she was pregnant and the uncle abandoned her and didn't know what to do. I immediately forgave her and asked her to give birth to the baby!!! Just today the child was born, and I bought a train ticket to go out of town...

7, this afternoon in the school toilet, almost good, a student pushed the door open, I was stunned, she closed the door again, only to hear her and her little partner say, is the teacher, two seconds later, the girl pushed the door open again, called the teacher good, closed the door again, child, you are teasing me!

8, today hammer in the company and colleagues chatted small talk, said that they had been deceived. What lends money to others, the result is that people run away, and there is money cheated by the object just found. At the end of the topic, a colleague asked Hammer: Now that there are so many scammers, you don't have the experience of being deceived, how did you do it? It seems to be an old jianghu, very defensive! Hammer: One word, poor!

9, today is Sunday, Foxconn rest day, bored I can only hang out on the street. Suddenly I heard someone arguing on the side of the street, so I hurried over to join in the fun. Don't look at it, don't know, look frightened, a man and the goddess I have a crush on in my heart are arguing. Noisy, the bastard man actually moved! As a man, how could I watch my beloved goddess being bullied, so I covered my eyes with my hands...

10, drinking in a bar, a man pasted a woman and said, "Honey, marry me." The woman said, "I want you to marry me in eight sedans." Then the man ran away, and after a while a waiter came up and said, "Miss, there is a gentleman at the bar shouting that he wants to marry you." ”

11. After getting drunk, at the instigation of my classmates, I confessed to the female teachers of the whole school one by one, and when I went out the next day, everyone looked at me with abnormal eyes, but I couldn't remember what happened because I drank too much, and I didn't know the truth after a week.

12, the wife bought shampoo products, go home and feel that the smell is not good, so she does not want it, give it to her daughter to use. The wife does not like it, and the daughter naturally does not want it. Such a big bottle of shampoo, I am worried alone, how long will a person use it? Sometimes I ask my wife strangely: Why is this shampoo so weird? Not only is it slippery, it doesn't have a little foam, and the hair doesn't seem to be washed clean. The wife smiled and did not speak.

13, a young man from the neighbor covered his face and ran out of the house, there was obviously a handprint on his face, and his daughter-in-law took a broom and chased after him. Later, I learned that the three daughters-in-law of the neighbors in the neighborhood were drinking together, and the three of them drank two bottles of liquor, and when they returned home, they beat their husbands and made a fuss about divorce!

14, every time I let my wife cook, she will definitely make fried bean sprouts! When cooking, I start to concentrate on choosing bean sprouts, and I choose for an hour or two. During the period, I did not forget to do some assistance, help to pick up a rice, wash a dish, and stir-fry by the way... After the bean sprouts were chosen, I was almost done with rice! Finally, she cooked and let me wash the dishes!