★ Just graduated from the teachers' college, because the school flower girlfriend was unmarried and pregnant, he was forced to marry directly by his mother-in-law. After getting married, we moved to the house we just bought, and there was a young couple living opposite the door

★ Just graduated from the teachers' college, because the school flower girlfriend was unmarried and pregnant, he was forced to marry directly by his mother-in-law. After getting married, we moved to the house we just bought, and there was a young couple living opposite the door. The two people are very affectionate, and the little girl is also very virtuous and has a special cooking skill. Every Saturday, the aroma of the big plate of chicken wafts to our house, and my wife begins to complain about me: you see how fragrant the big plate of chicken made by others is, you look at the rice you make, I really want to change a virtuous husband. You have to count when you speak, so change it!

★ Yesterday, the eldest brother was lying on the sofa playing with his mobile phone, and the eldest sister-in-law ran over with a bag of candy in her hand and gently said to the eldest brother: "Husband open his mouth, open your mouth wider." The eldest brother thought that the eldest sister-in-law was going to give him candy, so he opened his mouth to the boss. Suddenly, the sister-in-law laughed out loud and said, "Husband, you have tooth decay, the doctor said, there are tooth decay and you can't eat sugar." "After saying that, I stuffed all the candy in my mouth...

★ A friend of mine has been talking to his girlfriend for eight years and hasn't broken up to make us around us particularly envious. After graduating from college, they made a marriage contract half a year later, because the two people usually enjoyed life together, they agreed to play their own for half a year before marriage, and did not interfere with each other. We often asked him out to play games all night, and his girlfriend was also having a lot of fun with her girlfriends every day. Finally half a year has passed, and the two have been separated for four months.

★ There was a widow in our unit, very good figure, mature and charming, very charming. A lot of divorced men are pursuing her. But she didn't want any. She said that widows were looking for widows, and divorced men she did not look up to. One day the unit sent me and her on a business trip. I asked the leader why he didn't send a man to go on a business trip with me, and the leader said that everyone had more work at hand. Only the two of you have been doing less recently, so it's just the two of you. As a result, she got entangled with me and wanted to be my girlfriend.

★ After graduating from Lanxiang Technical School, the brother-in-law went to the construction site to drive an excavator, and as a result, he accidentally overturned the car and died on the spot, and the owner of the construction site compensated 5 million yuan. After my sister-in-law got the compensation, she gave me and my wife 2 million yuan. We bought a new house in Tomson Yipin and went to the 4s store to pick up a Maybach. Today I was going to drive out, just before I got to the car, I found Xiao Zhengtai standing up against my car door, and I shouted, "Stop! Xiao Zhengtai was too frightened to move, and I asked, "What are you doing next to the car?" He blushed and said, "I just helped you get out of the car for free." "I looked closely and this bear kid actually peed on the tires of my car!"

★ A hairdresser in the store has just finished handling a customer's hairstyle!!! The customer stood up and looked in the mirror with a smile on his face: "Tomorrow I will ask my brother to come with me!!! The barber smiled happily when he heard this!!! Just as he was about to thank him, the customer suddenly smiled at Mimi and patted the barber's shoulder and said, "You can also call some people, then don't say that I bully you a lot!!! ”

★ My first-grade son came home crying, and I asked in pain, "What's wrong?" Baby. The son said, "Mom, let's buy another mirror!" I asked doubtfully, "Isn't there a mirror in the bathroom?" Son: "But the mirror is too small to reflect the upper body." Me: "What does it matter?" Son: "The teacher often criticized me, saying that I forgot to tie my shoelaces when I went out every day. ”

★ Tonight, my brother once went to his girlfriend's house, my father-in-law made a large table of dishes at home, but it did not meet my taste, my father-in-law asked me to give advice, I hesitated for two seconds and said: Fried is not drip. I actually got the affirmation of my father-in-law, praising me as an honest person and trustworthy! I was very happy, my father-in-law said: I can only teach my daughter to stir-fry to this extent, if it is not delicious, you will cook later! I:...... How do I feel like I'm being tricked!

★ At ten o'clock in the evening, my father, who was working outside, did not return. So, my mother asked me to call my father to ask about the situation. I took my mother's mobile phone and called, "Dad, what are you doing?" Still not coming back? Then came the voice of another man, and I suddenly became alert. Then, I quietly hid and whispered, "Who are you?" How did you get my dad's phone? After asking for half a day, I found the "dad" in the address book and dialed it.

★ When the National Day holiday was over, I played mahjong with the boss with a few colleagues, and the boss said: Everything in the company is ready, right? Me: Well, it's all done, East Wind! The boss said: Hey, touch, I tell you ah, I commanded the things, can not know less, no? Me: Uh-huh, nine! Boss: Oops, I'll touch it again! As a result, after the holiday, my brother went to work one day, and I was promoted to department manager because I stepped into the company door with my left foot! #Funny# #幽默搞笑段子 #