1, I raised pigs to make a fortune, replaced Wuling with a Range Rover, and rear-ended a Maserati as soon as I came out of the 4S shop. The beautiful young woman in the car said: "Ten thousand yuan is private?" I looked at her ass

1, I raised pigs to make a fortune, replaced Wuling with a Range Rover, and rear-ended a Maserati as soon as I came out of the 4S shop. The beautiful young woman in the car said: "Ten thousand yuan is private?" I looked at the butt of her car, collapsed a large piece, and thought, "Isn't this worth losing 100 pigs?" Ten thousand dollars? And this good thing! I was muttering to myself. The young woman said, "If you can't, just look for the traffic police and take insurance?" It's just too much trouble! I looked at the Maserati co-pilot, a handsome guy dressed up, wearing sunglasses and hiding from speaking. Quickly nodded his head and said yes, turned around and went to the car to get his mobile phone, saying in his mouth: "WeChat or Alipay?" The young woman said impatiently, "Ten thousand yuan, which is so troublesome!" Then he handed me a stack of brand-new bills, got in the car and flew away. Leave me alone in the wind messy. She actually thought she was fully responsible....

2, on the weekend that day up early in the morning, after getting up from the window in the morning, I ate breakfast and moved a chair to the balcony to bask in the sun. I thought about isn't that how everything in fiction is written? Warm sunlight poured down on me, and I lazily lay in my chair, leaking a charming smile like the male protagonist of a novel. So I asked my mother to take a picture for me, who knows what my mother said: What is there to take? It's like drying pork!

3. When my daughter was sleeping at noon, I said to her: Bao, you will feel that you can't talk about people's backs, let alone say bad things about others behind people's backs. The little girl nodded in understanding, and after three hours, she told her about my small vault of money. At that time, I felt that this girl must be black heart cotton!

4. When the friend got married that year, when she went to the door of the woman's house, the woman's girlfriend said that she wanted 80,000 opening fees, otherwise she would not let her in. We thought it was a joke, and we kept coaxing it in, who knew that the bride and her mother changed their faces at that time, saying that they would drive back without 80,000. We were suddenly embarrassed, putting all the money on our bodies together was only 10,000, thinking that it was almost over, who knew that half an hour would not work. My friend was furious and picked up the phone and called his ex-girlfriend in front of everyone and asked (hands-free), would you marry me? The opposite answer: No.

5. After graduating from college, I am now a first-class registered architect and busy working all day. Yesterday, I went on a blind date at a restaurant, and I deliberately arrived 10 minutes early. Then I ordered a few dishes and sat in the private room waiting for the woman to arrive. After a while, the door opened, and before I could see who it was, it closed again. Then a sentence came from outside: Mom, the man doesn't seem to have come, but there is an old man sitting inside.

6, sexy and hot sister-in-law is a car model, the figure is not generally good. Sometimes I regret falling in love with her sister. But recently she had a boyfriend who was ugly and dark. This morning I asked my sister-in-law: You have such excellent conditions, how do you look at him? Sister-in-law: When I was at the auto show, he bought the car on the spot. Me: Is that why, what car are you showing? Sister-in-law: Mercedes-Benz. I asked incomprehensibly: A Mercedes, you follow him? Your brother-in-law and I drive a Mercedes? Sister-in-law: No, he bought 50 cars at a time and said that he would give them to his company employees, so it would be very good to be considerate of employees. "

7, the female boss has always wanted to marry, just said that there are 5 million people, she can marry, and then it is 3 million, you can also consider. Today she said it really can't, 1 million men can also consider. I was about to go outside when your boss suddenly called out to me and said, "Hey! Don't go, if it's you, I don't want anything. I was stunned for a moment, only to hear her explain: "Actually, I have 5 million myself." "I offered her to transfer 5 million to me, I gave it to her again, she refused, do you think this relationship can continue???

8, and my wife only a year after marriage often quarrelled, this time more severe, is smashing the pot and the bowl, I just can't stand it, had to run away from home. In the evening, the daughter-in-law called her mother and said: Mom, the army and I have quarreled again, he has run away from home, I will now go and live with you for a few days. Her mother said unhurriedly: No need, the army has been in our house for an afternoon, your little girl is becoming more and more unreasonable, I will take the army back in a moment, and teach you a good lesson!

9, the old man drove a Porsche out for a ride, leaving the mobile phone at home. After a while, his cell phone came calling, and I looked at the display of 10086. I didn't think much of it, and I just hung up. After a while, a text message came, and the sender was exactly 10086: What, is it inconvenient to answer the phone? I was very worried in my heart, the ghost made God call back, and then the brother-in-law's voice came from the other end of the phone: Dad, why don't you answer my phone, I have no living expenses, you hurry up and call me. At this moment, I seemed to understand the meaning of 10086.?

10, the company came to a rich post-00 intern, after work in the evening we went to the biggest bar in the city to play. The post-00s drank hi and said wildly: I will pay for all the costs tonight! Colleagues are in high spirits, and the post-00 interns have decided not to pull back. Later, after he woke up drunk, the boy looked at the bill of 200,000 yuan and wanted to cry without tears. The bar owner came up to the intern and said: No money to put anything on it? The intern cried and said: I will brush your cup to pay off the debt, right? The bar owner said angrily: Not only brushing cups, but also housework you have to take care of all! The intern nodded and said, "Got it, Dad...

11. In junior high school, I studied at a school in the town, and I was a rural child, who was relatively poor. I borrowed money from everywhere at the same table to buy snacks, borrowed me 70 yuan, and didn't pay me back for a year. One day I was in a good mood, my father sent me living expenses, and I met him on the way. I said: I lend you another 30, how about you give me back 100 directly? He was stunned and said yes, three days later he transferred!

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #