1, wife: In the past, you often sent me roses, why don't you send any flowers now? Husband: Have you ever seen a fisherman feed a fish bait after catching it? Wife: Hello! Haven't you ever kept a goldfish?

1, wife: In the past, you often sent me roses, why don't you send any flowers now? Husband: Have you ever seen a fisherman feed a fish bait after catching it? Wife: Hello! Haven't you ever kept a goldfish? Husband: Raised ah, too much effort, and then fed the cat.

2, after work, my sister took a bath in the bathroom at home! Suddenly my sister shouted: Husband, it seems that someone peeked at me taking a bath! The brother-in-law said: Is it? Then you hurry up and open the window! Sister fury: Am I crazy? The brother-in-law explained: You let him see clearly, and next time he will not dare to look at it again!

3, the sister-in-law's honeymoon trip back to her mother's house, my wife and I also went back to dinner together. At the dinner table, I accompanied the new aunt to drink, a bottle of wine under the belly, I wish the new aunt a happy new marriage. He poured half a glass of wine: "Brother-in-law, she was a little sheep before marriage, and a wolf after marriage!" Me: "It's impossible, usually the literature is weak." He was anxious: "Where the text is weak, it is all pretended, I don't believe you will try it one day!" Me: "What?" Try it? You're welcome, you're welcome! Uh~ my family also has..."

4, "Doctor, tomorrow my wife surgery, you bother, such a hot day, this is our little heart, you take it to the bar" said I handed things over, "You are insulting me!" "The doctor smashed the cap of another bottle in my face.

5, the wife has just given birth to the baby, the whole family came to the ward to visit. The husband held the baby and shouted excitedly: "Great, it's a son!" The woman was not happy and said, "What, patriarchy over daughter?" The husband was busy explaining: "No, if you have a daughter, when she grows up, she will be abducted by which beast, how painful..." The old man next to him listened, suddenly sighed, and said: "Yes, it really hurts!" ”

6, the wife returned home, the husband was mad at her: "Are you going to the old Huang family next door?" The wife giggled and wondered how he knew! But the mouth says, "I didn't go!" The husband said breathlessly: "Our family has been using the WIFI of the old Huang family next door, today I suddenly can't go up, it must be Lao Wang changing the password!" But you just came back today, and the WIFI is still connected! ”

7 The surgeon and his wife went out on the street together, and a beautiful young blonde greeted him. The wife looked at her sourly, and then asked her husband, "Where did you know this kind of woman?" The doctor explained, "We only met because of our professional relationship. Mrs.: "Is it your profession, or her profession?" ”

8. A young couple visits an exhibition. The wife stood in front of a painting and pointed to the frame of a woman's portrait and shouted, "Oh my God! How ugly this woman is! "Shhh, lighten up!" The husband said, "It's not a painting, it's a mirror." ”

9, a newlywed couple quarreled, and finally, the wife could not stand it any longer, crying and saying: "Cut off with you!" I'm going to pack up my things and go back to my mother's house. "Very well, my dear." The husband took out the money, "The travel expenses are here," she took the money and counted, and then said: "This little money is not enough, what should I do with the travel expenses back?" ”

10. In the obstetrics and gynecology department, there is a pregnant woman who is about to give birth. Rolling on the sick window in pain, he also shouted at her husband who was accompanying the birth: "I would rather not have a son to retire in the future, nor to give birth!" When the husband saw that his wife was in such pain, he said, "Listen to you!" "Three hours later, the nurse packed out a baby girl. After the child's full moon, the couple thought of many names, and none of them were satisfied. In the end, the wife made up her mind and said, "Let's call our daughter Lai Di!" ”

11, the husband always has excessive behavior in watching the ball game, the wife deliberately made 10 red cards: "the roar is too big to show one, smash the things in the house show two, too much beer to show two..." The husband listened to the assurance: "Please use the refereeing power." "The next morning, the wife noticed a lot more red cards under the pillow. The husband explained: "I didn't think your 10 were enough, so I rushed to make another 20 at halftime. ”

12, go to my cousin's house to play, before entering the house, I heard my cousin's daughter crying and saying, "Dad, you stay away from me, don't you understand that men and women can't afford to kiss?" I rushed into the house to see what was going on, only to see my cousin standing with a feather duster crying and laughing, when my cousin grabbed the feather duster in my cousin's hand and stared at the little girl and said: "After studying and taking the exam, I don't want to repent, you still have a lot of crooked reasoning, don't beat it, you say that your father can't kiss you, I'm a woman, I'll beat you!"

13, the gambling husband opened a casino at home, at night, the wife was noisy and could not sleep, so she came to the living room and scolded: "Listen, this is my home, and let me sleep." The husband, who was playing cards, said, "Whisper honey, this is not our house anymore." The wife was even more angry, and angrily scolded: "You loser, I will not go through with you." Husband: "It's okay honey, just lost again, you're not my wife now." ”

14, my friend and my friend opened a breakfast restaurant next to the school, the business was not good at first, and the couple often found more money to give to others. It didn't take long for the news to spread at school, more and more people came to breakfast, the couple was too busy, and they rarely found the wrong money!