1, with the boyfriend back to the hometown, in the village, the boyfriend urinary urgency, go to the grove convenient, I am waiting on the side of the road, there is a grandfather came, the uncle asked me: "Girl, who are you looking for in our village?"

1, with the boyfriend back to the hometown, in the village entrance, the boyfriend urinary urgency, to go to the grove convenient, I was waiting on the side of the road, there was a grandfather came, the uncle asked me: "Girl, who are you looking for in our village?" Me: "Uncle, I'll go to Li Xiaodong's house!" Just then, my boyfriend came out and I said to him, "Did this uncle say anything about your village?" Boyfriend: "This grandson who doesn't know, I'm a neighbor" I tugged on my boyfriend's clothes to make him speak more politely, and the uncle next to him saw his boyfriend and greeted him happily: "Second grandfather, are you back?" I rely on, the rural generations are really chaotic...

2, my Porsche 911 put in the car wash shop to clean, go to the subway, the subway a few dirty workers chatting. A worker said: I heard that Huawei's P40 just came out is good, I want to buy one, how much is it? Another worker: I watched the press conference, more than 6,000! At this time, several white-collar workers around listened, and each silently took out the Huawei in his hand and pressed it twice. Worker: It's so expensive, it's almost half a month's salary! White-collar workers suddenly silently put away their mobile phones, and the corners of their eyes faintly flashed with crystal tears...?

3. At 00:00, dozens of high-rise buildings in a community are still brightly lit, and every house is lit up. It was a silent brightness, no noise of television and sound, no quarrel between husband and wife, only the click of a mouse. Uncle Wang of the community communication room watched all this silently, pondered for a long time, lit a cigarette, and finally firmly closed the community main electric gate. That night he recovered hundreds of millions of dollars in property damage for community owners. That day was November 11, 2020 AD... ；

4. Today, when I was in chemistry class, the teacher was lecturing on the top, and Xiu'er classmates were working on the book below. The teacher said to Xiu'er: That classmate, what are you writing? Xiu'er classmate said: I am taking notes on chemistry. The teacher said in disbelief: Show me. As he spoke, the teacher grabbed the note from Xiu'er's classmates. Only to see the above written: gold and silver copper iron carbon wood soil, chai rice oil salt sauce vinegar tea, love you such as seven flavors, complex and complex. Xiu'er classmate said weakly: Teacher, this is chemistry!

5. When I woke up this morning, I saw my brother sitting on the couch sullen. I asked him curiously why he hadn't gone to work yet. The brother said helplessly, there is no need to go today, and there is no need to go in the future. I said, why? My big-tongued manager said that I had to carry ten dollars of "sandpaper" on my way to work, and I heard it as "burning paper." I'm too careful, and I won't fire you." Brother also said, the manager saw that I bought the wrong one, so he let me take it out and throw it away, and as a result, I said to him with a brain pump, keep it, in case I can use it in two days.?

6. There is a 4-year-old boy in our community, and his grandmother takes him out to play every day. The child is very cute, when he sees the beautiful woman, he lets the bag and says: Auntie, you are so beautiful! I happened to bump into him today and gave him a piece of chocolate. Say in a childish voice: Thank you auntie! Me: Is Auntie pretty? You haven't even let me wrap it up! The bear child hesitated for a moment and returned the chocolate to me...

7. There is a family in the village who has a wolf dog, which is particularly fierce, and my brother and I are afraid when we see it. Once, when my parents were not at home, my brother stole my father's wine. It happened that the dog passed in front of my house, and my brother borrowed wine to strengthen his courage, grabbed a stick and rushed out! The fierce dog saw that the situation was not good, and fled in a hurry, and my brother chased and beat him all over the village. The next day, my brother and the fierce dog met in a narrow alley, stunned each other, and each turned his head and ran...

8, my boyfriend gave my mother a dowry of 300,000 yuan, and recently often came to my house to discuss marriage. Today the boyfriend came again, and my niece secretly said to me: Aunt, how your vision is getting worse and worse, the last time it was much more handsome than him. Me: I didn't change boyfriends, he was the one last time. The niece clapped her small hand: I said how come I didn't recognize it, it turned out that his Wangwang gift bag forgot to take it!!! Dad called to say that the house was demolished, and I immediately resigned to take a taxi home to get the money. The car came, I didn't expect it to be a Honda Civic, driving or beautiful. I asked the beauty: "Driving a luxury car and working part-time, you are not bad for these few dollars, why?" Beauty smiled contemptuously at me, "I just like to see you poor ghosts stunned, envious and puzzled." "At that time, I couldn't help but scold her and cry, and after getting out of the car, I resolutely gave her a five-star praise!

9, there is a small supermarket near my home, it is particularly convenient to buy things, and it also provides home delivery service. One day, my mother wanted to eat potato chips, so I asked my father to call the supermarket. Dad asked, "Supermarket, huh?" Do you have any potato chips at home? The supermarket replied, "Yes." The old mother suddenly interjected: "We still have it in the refrigerator, don't need to order it." Then I heard my dad say to the phone, "Hey, I have it too." ”

10, wife: you hurry to find me a boyfriend, otherwise, you roll. Husband: Wife, it's cold now. Wife: It's cold? Daughter: Mom, Dad means, wait for next year! Dad, you're right! Husband: Yes, I'm afraid of the cold! Wife: You are afraid of the cold, what does it have to do with your daughter marrying someone? The husband pointed to the girl: Look at it yourself, is it not warm to see my girl?

11. In obstetrics and gynecology, there is a pregnant woman who is about to give birth. Rolling in pain on the hospital bed, he also shouted at her husband who was accompanying him: "I would rather not have my son old-aged in the future, nor will I give birth!" When the husband saw that his wife was in such pain, he said, "Listen to you!" "Three hours later, the nurse brought out a baby girl. After the child's full moon, the couple thought of many names, and none of them were satisfied. In the end, the wife made up her mind and said, "Let's call our daughter Lai Di!" ”?

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #