Son a foodie, anything can be shared with other children, but the food is not OK, who touches and who is anxious! Many times the education has achieved little success! But when I filled him with egg bread this morning,

Son a foodie, anything can be shared with other children, but the food is not OK, who touches and who is anxious! Many times the education has achieved little success! But this morning, when I filled him with egg bread, my son said: "Let me put another one." I bring one to the table xx! I was surprised and asked: Are you so good? My son looked up proudly and said: If you like someone, you have to give her all the things you love the most, and she is now my girlfriend... I'm going to be nice to her...

2. My son's tablemate is a beautiful little girl who is also a member of the study committee. Later, the teacher changed the rules, saying that as long as both parties agreed, they could freely form the same table. In the case that the original tablemate agreed to maintain the status quo, the son left the family and went to find his brother to be the same table, a small fat man of 140 pounds. After returning home, the son said triumphantly that he had long wanted to change. Looking at my son's arrogant appearance, it is really inheriting the style of my youth!

3, husband and wife drive to the wildlife park, in the wild wolf park, the husband and wife got out of the car to see the wild wolves nearby, suddenly the wolves rushed to them, the husband fell off the wife to drive and ran, fortunately the staff saved the wife, the wife grabbed the husband and slapped her twice, scolding: "You are a bastard, even left me alone" The husband covered his face and said: "You... Haven't you learned wolf prevention techniques, and are you still afraid of wolves! Wife: "Nima"

4. The couple has not spoken to each other for several days because of the quarrel. One day, my husband was informed that the company wanted him to catch an early flight the next morning to run errands, so he went to bed early. In the evening, the wife was getting ready to go to bed and found a note on the bed that read: the child, please wake me up at 6 o'clock tomorrow morning. "The next morning, my husband woke up to find it almost 7 o'clock. He was about to get angry when he suddenly noticed a note at the head of the bed that read, "Boy, daddy, wake up soon, it's already 6 o'clock." ”

5, just entered the company was pursued by the boss's daughter, I was also unwilling at the time, after all, there is no feeling. When I finally found out that she was the only daughter of the boss, I agreed to her pursuit. Now that the two are married, life is not good, and I have become a complete servant. Doing housework during the day does not allow me to go to work, and the company's affairs do not let me worry about it; at night, I do not let me rest, and I do not let me sleep until 11 o'clock every day. I just fell asleep today, maybe overworked, and I felt out of breath. I opened my eyes and saw that it was my 220-pound fat daughter-in-law's leg pressed against my stomach, yes, it was a leg! I don't understand the law, so I just ask, does this count as murdering my husband?

6, the brother played the "dating software" when he met a flight attendant, after meeting the two are ready to flash marriage. At the wedding, my brother said: After I fell in love with you, I also loved many people. We were all frightened, my sister-in-law was stunned, and the host didn't know what to say. Seeing this scene, the brother continued with satisfaction: Many people, including your parents, your family, your friends... The audience suddenly applauded, and my sister-in-law paused and asked: "Do you include my girlfriend?"

7. The brother used his sister-in-law's credit card to transfer 20,000 yuan to his ex-girlfriend for surgery. The sister-in-law was furious when she found out and had a fight with her brother at home. In the end, the brother was anxious and proposed a divorce, and the sister-in-law actually agreed! Then the brother turned to the little nephew and said: "Tell me to get up at half o'clock to get a divorce!" At one and a half o'clock the little nephew went to call his brother and was directly beaten!

8, the buddy went on a blind date, successfully found a good daughter-in-law, on the day of marriage his daughter-in-law took out a small bottle. In the days to come, every time she cried, she would drop a drop of water into the bottle. When the bottle is full, the heart must be dead, and it will leave him without hesitation. 3 years passed, a few days ago the brothers secretly poured two large spoonfuls of water into the bottle, and were found by the daughter-in-law and beaten.

9, ancient I heavenly export porcelain large plates, generally stacked up to the large plates, the most obvious ancient wisdom is that because the transportation period is very long, they sprinkle soybeans and water between the plates, during the transportation process, the beans sprout along the plate gap growth, and finally grow into bean sprouts as a partition cushion, the plate will not collide and break. These simple methods contain the wisdom of the ancients.

10. The teacher asks in class: "This is a map of the world, who can point out where the Americas are?" Nick walked over to the map and pointed out where the Americas were on the map. The teacher said, "Well, children, tell me, who discovered America?" The children replied in unison, "Nick! ”

1 A few days before the marriage, the father-in-law grabbed the son-in-law's hand and instructed: "I have no other requirements, after Xiaojuan marries, you must treat her well, there are some things she does not do right, you have to accommodate him, the child remembers what is good to say do not do with her." After saying that the old man could not stop the old tears, not long after the marriage, the little two fought, looking at the son-in-law lying in the hospital, the father-in-law shook his head helplessly: "Hey, child, you are not obedient!"

12. Today Lao Wang came home from work and saw his son writing homework alone at home. Just ask: Son, what about your mother? The son said: Out. Then continue writing the job. Seeing that the king saw that his son was so serious, he said, How is his son studying recently? The son said: It's ok! Lao Wang said I will test you? Son: Okay. Lao Wang: Make a sentence with 'can't stop wanting'. Son: Today our family's bath bully can't be used, and my mother went to Uncle Chen's house next door to take a bath.

13. This morning, colleague Kai Kai went to the manager to ask for leave: "Manager, I want to take two days off to go back to my hometown to visit the grave and worship the ancestors." The manager said, "Well, give you two days off, and remember to bring a mask, hat, and sunglasses when you go to the grave." Kai Kai said happily: "Thank you for the manager's concern, it is not too hot recently and will not tan." The manager said with a disdainful face: "You misunderstood what I meant, since you entered the company, the performance is so poor, the staff is not good, the salary is so low, and the face sees the ancestors?" ”

14. After the party, I sent my female classmates home, and the child took the initiative to say: "Uncle, go to my house to see my toys." The female classmate said: "Don't hurt the child's heart!" I just nodded. At twelve o'clock in the evening, the child did not let me go, and the female classmate said: "Don't hurt the child's heart!" "Then I stayed, and the next day, the child called me Daddy directly. I looked at him breathlessly, and suddenly wanted to beat him, you said that I am a 30-year-old person, how can I be calculated by him?