1. Dad has long felt that my son and I don't look like each other, and finally hid from me and took my son to do DNA, which showed that the grandparents did not have a half-cent relationship. The wife cried to the death and was willing to live

1. Dad has long felt that my son and I don't look like each other, and finally hid from me and took my son to do DNA, which showed that the grandparents did not have a half-cent relationship. The wife cried to death and was willing to prove her innocence with death. So, I personally did a DNA test with my son, and the results showed that the two were father and son. Then my dad and I went for DNA testing, and it turned out that we didn't have a half-cent relationship. The old mother cried to death and was willing to prove her innocence with death. So, I did a DNA test with my mother, and the results showed that we were also not related to half a cent. Excluding genetic mutations, there is only one possibility in the hospital to hold the wrong child. Overnight our family rushed to the hospital where I was born. The old nurse flipped through the yellowed paper file and finally said that there was only one boy born that day and at the same time as me, called xxx. My wife was stunned, and so was I. Carefully checked all the information of the little boy, and finally determined that the little boy was the wife's "brother". The wife trembled and called her father-in-law and mother-in-law and her "brother-in-law." Her "brother" was abducted to do DNA testing with my father and mother," and I was abducted to do DNA testing with my father-in-law and mother-in-law. The results showed that my father-in-law and mother-in-law had a father-son mother-son relationship, and my wife and brother-in-law and my parents had a father-son mother-son relationship. In other words, my wife is my own sister, and I am my wife's brother. But we are brothers and sisters, and the children are the products of close relatives, so why is there nothing unusual? In the end, I had to do another DNA test with my wife. The test results showed that the two did not have a half-cent relationship. Fortunately, my wife is not my own sister. I'm not my wife's brother either. so...... Who the hell is she? With doubt, I looked at my father-in-law's mother-in-law's biological parents. The wife was very excited, and tearfully forced the two old men to ask who they were. The biological father said, "You... I actually picked it up from the garbage heap. ”

2. Take a bath with my girlfriend, she has to let me take off first, I take off my shirt, she also let me take off my pants, I said are you sick? She didn't speak, and when I had finished taking off my pants, she took off her clothes and went into the shower, washing and washing her and saying: You don't take off your pants, I thought you were a man...

3. After the father-in-law died of a cancer certificate, the mother-in-law took the 6-year-old uncle to remarry a rich old man. The little uncle became more and more naughty, often broke into trouble, and was almost beaten up by his mother-in-law. That night, the little uncle and his mother-in-law ate together. Originally eating well, the little uncle suddenly said: Huh? I haven't been beaten in days. Then, the mother-in-law beat him again, haha! Don't be so annoying!

4. My brother's son is five years old, and my sister-in-law wants him to learn to pull erhu, but he doesn't want to go.

My sister-in-law was so angry that she couldn't ask him: You have to learn at least the same thing, what do you really want to learn?

The nephew said: I don't learn anything now, just learn a chef when I grow up... My sister-in-law asked him why,

He glanced at his sister-in-law and said: When I grow up, my wife will tell me to cook, I won't, will you make me wait for the kneeling washboard... My sister-in-law was speechless...

5. The single father-in-law bought the big lottery and won 45 million, becoming a rich man. The father-in-law immediately got along with a beautiful model, and soon the two were married. In the winter, the father-in-law drank too much and knocked on the door in confusion. When the daughter-in-law saw that her father-in-law had drunk again, she said angrily, "I have gone to the wrong door!" The father-in-law turned around and went downstairs, and the little daughter-in-law lay down the window to see him sitting downstairs, afraid of freezing, so she went downstairs and called him. When the father-in-law saw that the new daughter-in-law was about to cry, he said with grievance: "I have drunk too much and walked through the wrong door, and an ugly old lady has thrown me out!" ”

6. A buddy noticed that his girlfriend had recently been very close to a strange man, and he didn't feel quite right. So I directly found someone to block them in the hotel, and rushed up to the man to beat them up. Then the man felt aggrieved and called the police in front of everyone. Later, the buddies learned that the man and his girlfriend were originally husband and wife, and he was the third party...

7. The brother-in-law brushed 3 million gifts for the female anchor, and finally made an appointment for the female anchor to eat hot pot. There, the female anchor ordered a large table of lamb rolls, beef rolls, hairy belly, blind leaves, shrimp slips, and small crispy meat!! After eating, the brother-in-law sent the female anchor home, and the female anchor blushed as if she wanted to say something. Female anchor: "If you take me directly to the hotel after eating, I will inevitably refuse, I didn't expect that you are a decent gentleman, so I am willing to be with you...."After saying that, I looked at my brother-in-law with burning eyes. The brother-in-law squeezed the remaining 5 yuan and roared in the night wind: "You can die if you don't eat so much?? The money to prepare for the hotel will make you eat up!! ”

8. I found my second spring on the Internet, and I bought a high-speed rail ticket to find her. After meeting her, I found out that she was a big beauty, and she was quite satisfied with me, and invited me to a meal. After eating, we were wandering around the square and suddenly saw that the park had a snare. I saw that she liked it, so I just spent 30 yuan to get 20 circles for her to play. Beauty smiled happily and said that she wanted to set a big doll back, but 19 in a row were useless. The last beautiful woman was very cautious, and after drawing for a while, she finally threw it out, and then directly hit the stall owner's bald head. The uncle took down the circle with a grumpy face, looked at me, and said to the beautiful woman: Girl, if you have a boyfriend, don't flirt with the uncle!

2.9. Some time ago, my girlfriend chatted with me, and she has been very haggard lately. My girlfriend asked me: Do you think I am thin, can I raise fish in my collarbone? I told her: I'm thin too, and I can see my collarbone. She asked me to show her and looked at it for a while. Then calmly said: Well, honey, your collarbone is 80% shy, play hide-and-seek with me!

10. There is a male colleague in the company, the family is a demolition household, especially rich, Dunton Abalone wings belly. At the beginning of last week, it was found that he suddenly changed to a vegetarian diet, eating only green vegetables and tofu. I couldn't help but ask him, "Why are you determined to lose weight?" He said: "The day before yesterday the mobile company paid the bill, and his computer was stuck." I wondered: "What is his computer stuck about you?" The male colleague sighed and said, "The key is that the salesman said to me: Dude, let me, you are blocking my optical fiber signal." ”

#Funny##搞笑段子 #