1. A man promises his daughter-in-law to buy her a villa within 25 rings of Beijing. The daughter-in-law was not at ease, so she flew to Beijing to investigate. Got off the plane, took a taxi and asked the taxi driver, "Division."

1. A man promises his daughter-in-law to buy her a villa within 25 rings of Beijing. The daughter-in-law was not at ease, so she flew to Beijing to investigate. After getting off the plane, I took a taxi and asked the taxi driver: "Master, where is the 25th Ring Road in Beijing?" Driver: "Beijing's 7 rings are in Tianjin, 8 rings are in Hebei, 9 rings are in Xingtai, 10 rings are in Handan, and 20 rings are in Xinxiang." The daughter-in-law said, "I go, these 25 rings, don't you get Jiaozuo?" The driver smiled slightly and said, "No, it's the Danjiangkou Reservoir!" ”

2. The husband was carried back when he was drunk. Wife: "Alas! You can't drink and be strong, you have to be drunk like this. "And come to the people after thanking them after sending them out. The husband opened one eye: "Are they all gone!" Wife: "What's wrong with you?" Husband: "After eating so many dishes, if I don't pretend to be drunk, I have to pay for it."

3. The old man gives his son a inheritance before his death. He said to the eldest son, "Your daughter-in-law is about to give birth, so leave your passbook with you." He said to his second son, "You are about to get married, and I will leave the house to you." Finally, he said to his younger son: "The one who can't put my mind at ease is you, and I don't have a girlfriend yet, so I'll leave you with my most precious inheritance." The younger son was overjoyed. The old man said, "I'm going to give you the QQ number, there are more than a thousand young girls in the friends bar." ”

4 When I first went to work and fell in love with my daughter-in-law, I was late at my daughter-in-law's house once, and I should go back. I came on a motorcycle, I secretly closed the small switch under the fuel tank first, did not go far to turn off the ignition, I called my daughter-in-law and said, look at the fuel meter there is oil is not able to hit, at night did not repair. I was busy pushing the car back to my daughter-in-law's house, and when I arrived at the door of my daughter-in-law's house, my mother-in-law came out and said to me, there are rules in their village, you can't stay, people will gossip, so you leave the car, tomorrow I will find someone to help you repair! In this way, I had to walk a few kilometers from my daughter-in-law's house to get home...

5 My husband and three female colleagues went on a business trip, and I didn't want to cook in the morning, so I went downstairs to buy breakfast. But the boss was not there, only the boss's 6-year-old son was there. I said to him: Little fellow, I want four buns stuffed with leeks. The little guy seemed to be unable to distinguish the type of bun, he picked up a bun and took a bite, after seeing the filling inside, he told me that this was a leek, and then directly packed it and handed it to me...

6 The brother-in-law went to buy a big lottery after work and won 100 million, so he took his new girlfriend to Travel to Ruilidu. That would not even have heard of gambling stones, and on a whim, he would like a stone. I can't say why, but I feel that this stone is his. At that time, the asking price was 5 million, gritting his teeth and buying it, the boss asked the brother-in-law: Cut open? I replied: Cut! As a result, the boss was blindfolded at the time: I have been doing this business for almost 30 years, and I have never seen this situation! The knife broke, and the boss blackmailed his brother-in-law for 500,000.

7 In the morning, when I saw that there was only one cigarette left in the customer's cigarette box, I pinned it to my ear. I wanted to smoke while walking on the road, but when I took it, I fell to the ground, so I picked it up and lit it. It just so happened that a big mother and a child of about ten years old came out of the corner to witness it. After rubbing shoulders, just listen to the big mother teach the child: study well! Otherwise, pick up cigarette butts on the street later! I'm angry! Just turn to the child and shout: Don't listen to your mother! My brother has been graduating from graduate school for two years! Now I can't even afford to buy cigarettes!

8 One of his superiors saw his employees and said a few words: Long time up. The employee felt unusually curious, self-contained and never met his own superiors. Then he said: How can you and not see you old, how can you know me? This superior said: I have long heard that you are not a person, and today I saw that you were really worthy of the name. When the employees listened, it turned out to be so, don't say it, and pass the prize.

9 My colleagues and I drank here, the hotel's driving agent asked for one hundred and fifty yuan, I thought it was expensive, I called Didi, waited for ten minutes, only more than seventy. I was drinking here again tonight, and just as the surrogate driver at the hotel was there, I let him get in the car. I hesitated: Brother, or one hundred and fifteen! In fact, he doesn't understand, I don't want to just finish drinking 90 years of Lafite and wait for dozens of dollars for ten minutes.

10 The in-laws have been married for more than forty years, and both of them are knife-mouthed tofu hearts. A good friend of his father-in-law's family raised a Tibetan mastiff, and a few days ago he gave his father-in-law a cub, which he liked very much. However, this cub has always been very unfriendly to the mother-in-law. In the evening, the father-in-law came home drunk and immediately moved a small bench to sit next to the cub and read the words. The mother-in-law then approached to listen, only to hear her father-in-law say, "You have to be nice to her, don't be so fierce, that's my daughter-in-law, she still has to cook for the two of us... ＂

11 The brother-in-law walked into the old man's study: "Dad, I want to buy the house of Tomson Yipin!" The old man listened and said hurriedly: "Are you crazy, Tomson Yipin's house is hundreds of millions, can we afford it?" Brother-in-law: "Then buy a Mercedes!" The old man: "Porsche also needs more than a million, we will not live in the future?" The brother-in-law was so angry that he slapped the table: "This is not agreed, that is not agreed, are you my father?" The old man: "Son, your requirements are too high, how can I agree?" Brother-in-law: "Then I will make a small request!" The old man: "Okay, you say." Brother-in-law: "I have a laptop, more than three thousand pieces, this requirement is not high!" ”