1, the village chief showed off to his son: "The pants in our village, I know who it is as soon as I smell it!" "My son tried it several times, and sure enough, he was very accurate, and he was secretly dissatisfied! Once, my son bought a new pair of pants

1, the village chief showed off to his son: "The pants in our village, I know who it is as soon as I smell it!" "My son tried it several times, and sure enough, he was very accurate, and he was secretly dissatisfied! Once, the son bought a new pair of pants and rubbed them on the cow's butt a few times to give to his father to smell. The village chief couldn't smell it, and thought to himself, "Is there a new person in the village again?" So he praised his son: "You little boy, you are good." "My son fainted!!!

2, the local tycoon drove a Bentley to catch a plane, the car broke down on the way, just a taxi drove over. The local tycoon went up with an arrow step, and there was a little boy carrying a school bag, and the local tycoon said: "Little boy, the uncle is going to be late for the high-speed train, will he send the uncle first?" The little boy said, "I'm going to be late for school." The local tycoon shouted to the driver: "I'm out of 50, send me first!" The little boy also shouted: "I am out of 200, send me first!" The local tycoon shouted again: "I'll give 1,000, send me first!" The little boy said calmly, "You win!" Dad, send him first! ”

3. Yesterday I went to the bar to meet a person, and introduced myself as an investment predator. He mysteriously told me at the time that after years of successful experience, he had developed a set of ways to guarantee the return of the principal and have the opportunity to impact the high Huibao. As soon as I heard it, I quickly toasted him with a glass of wine, and whispered an open heart for advice. He said: You now deposit thirty thousand to V letter balance treasure, take interest every day to buy two-color demand!

4, watch TV at home at night, a cigarette box is out of smoke to buy at the community convenience store. After choosing it, I just gave the money and wanted to buy an ice cream. The little Lori next to me looked straight at the ice cream in my hand. So I asked her: Do you want to eat? Little Lori nodded fiercely. I said: If you say something nice, I'll give it to you. Little Lori hesitated for three or four seconds, and said weakly: Husband.

5, our factory is recruiting directors and above level of employees, a university just graduated after the 90s cast a resume, did not expect to soon receive an interview invitation. Interviewer: Which one do you choose with a score of 600 points in the college entrance examination and a bank card of 6 million yuan? The post-90s generation didn't even think about TUO mouth out: I chose 6 million bank cards! Interviewer: Why? Post-90s: Because I have graduated from college, and I have scored 710 on the college entrance examination. The interviewer smiled and said: Congratulations, you have been admitted!

6. Some time ago, my mother sent me a box of specialties from my old home. This morning, she called and said, "Girl, did you receive the courier I sent you?" I said, "No, but it should be almost here!" "Unexpectedly, the courier arrived at noon, but my last name was actually written wrong, resulting in me and the courier brother not on the code." This look at the sender is my mother is not wrong, but my name is Li Pingping, stunned is written as Zheng Pingping, I am 29 years old this year...

7. It has been seven months since the goddess agreed to my marriage proposal, and yesterday she gave birth to a son for me, and I was particularly excited. After giving birth, I want to sit in confinement, my mother specially found a specially famous confinement center, the price was good, a touch of pocket, no money. So, the mother asked, "Can I swipe my card?" The receptionist said very politely: "Yes, we can swipe any card here." Mom nodded and pulled out her passbook in her bag...

8, when I was in high school, I liked a female classmate, and once I kissed her after school, and I thought it was a big deal to be slapped. But she didn't hit me, and ran away with her ponytail flicked. I think there is a drama, and I smirk from time to time on the way home. Fantasizing that we will study together, progress together, go to college together, graduate together, work together, save enough money to get married and have children, boys like me, girls like her... Thinking about what name to give your child? Her brother dragged me into the alley and beat me up.

9. On the way to work in the field, the old farmer tripped over a stone and fell on his heel. The old peasant angrily scolded at the stone, "You damn thing! Just from the opposite side came a Xiucai, Xiucai thought that the old farmer was cursing him, so he grabbed the old farmer and took him to the county order. After listening to their respective statements, the county order sentenced the old farmer to half a silver dollar. The old peasant took out a silver dollar and handed it to the county order, saying, "If I am sentenced to half a silver dollar for the sake of the phrase 'you damn thing', I don't want the remaining half of it, let me scold you again,' 'you damn thing'!" ”

10. When the husband was 45 years old, he had a brother-in-law. Because he is old and has a son, the old man has a special love for his son and never lets him work. That time, the brother-in-law was at home reading the phone, and the mother-in-law ran home breathlessly. The brother-in-law asked the mother-in-law why she had gone, and the mother-in-law said, "Son, I bought a car of coal outside, and now the coal truck is parked on the other side of the bridge, and I can't pull it up. The brother-in-law was not moved, tilted his head and said: "Mom, you don't understand science at all, according to the law of inertia, you just need to pull the car back 20 meters, and then rush up, the car will definitely be able to cross the bridge." The mother-in-law went up and slapped her: "I found that your boy is habitual, hurry up and give me up." ”

11, yesterday at home lol is hi it, the phone suddenly popped up WeChat verification message. I clicked on it, and it said: Brother called me, I am your sister! I directly refused, and replied: I don't like my sister, I like my sister! After a few minutes, my aunt called. She asked me: Your cousin plus you asked you math problems, why don't you agree?

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #