1, last night friends please go to KTV, everyone called a girl. The one sitting next to me was quite pretty, and in the middle she touched my handle and played with it, and sang a few songs together. At the end of hers

1, last night friends please go to KTV, everyone called a girl. The one sitting next to me was quite pretty, and in the middle she touched my handle and played with it, and sang a few songs together. At the end, she put her face against my face and said a word: It is not easy to earn some money, don't come to this kind of place in the future, look at the cocoon on your hands, save some money for your sister-in-law and children.

2, the girlfriend and the sister-in-law have a very good relationship since childhood, after knowing that the two of us are together, she is particularly unhappy. I went to my girlfriend's house for dinner today, and I accidentally touched someone's foot under the dinner table, and I didn't care. As a result, the sister-in-law suddenly said, "Brother-in-law, why are you touching my feet?" Just about to apologize, the future husband glared at her and said, "I touched it!" After eating, the old man pulled the sister-in-law aside and said, "It's not easy for your sister to find an object, if it's yellow, I'm not done with you!" ”

3. There is a particularly funny buddy in the college dormitory, and we gave him a nickname called "Big Pig Head", which is usually called like this. But finally one day, he broke out to us: "Please don't give me a nickname anymore, don't call 'big pig head' all day long, I hope you can respect me, please!" In the future, please call my big name 'Wang Er Dog'! ”

4. Recently, the teacher found that the phenomenon of leftovers leftovers among classmates was very serious. So the teacher said: When you throw away the food, have you ever thought about how sorry you are to the hard-working peasant uncle? The same table stood up and said: The aunt who cooks in the canteen is also very sorry for the farmer's uncle, fresh vegetables can be made into such a difficult dish, how can there be no leftovers! The pork she fried, I think that pig died unjustly! teacher:......

5, my girlfriend went downstairs yesterday to get a takeaway and came back and started to lose her temper with me. He also quarreled to break up with me, saying that I didn't have anything in my heart that she didn't love her! I was a little messy, how could there be so many problems in one trip, so I asked her: Is the takeaway unappetizing? Or is it because I didn't play the game and didn't go to get takeaways? My girlfriend said: A takeaway delivery person found that the nail polish I painted changed color, and you didn't find it! "

6. Today I went to my girlfriend's house to visit her parents, because it was the first time I met I was extremely nervous. Who knew that her parents had just seen me and changed their faces, and her mother said, "Yo, you actually came empty-handed?" But I was touched badly, looked down at my hands, and then said happily: "Still the mother-in-law hurts the son-in-law, aunt, you can rest assured that my hands are not cold, no need to wear gloves!" ”

7. When playing the game, I met a girl who was hanging up, and I thought she was very bold, so I asked her to come out to meet. I asked my mother for four hundred dollars, and my mother asked me what I was doing, and I said dating. She happily gave it, and just out of the house she met her father. He pulled me aside and said, "Boy, four hundred dollars and half of each of us, half a month I don't know the taste of smoke." I said, "Dad, this is money for my dates and can't give it to you." Dad smiled and said, "You're still too young, the one who accompanies you to play the game is me, in order to smoke I bought a 10 yuan plug-in!" ”

8, HIT graduated brother-in-law in Huawei Group work, this day in the busy work, Huawei P40 mobile phone forgot to mute, suddenly Alipay rang: Alipay to the account 1000000. The brother-in-law was very surprised, how could someone transfer so much money to himself, openEd Alipay and found that his wife transferred 1000000 to him. The brother-in-law carefully counted, it is indeed 1,000,000, WeChat also received a message: sister wants to give you pocket money, the volkswagen Beetle that I recently looked at went to buy it. 5 minutes later I sent a text message to my brother-in-law: You turn 1,000,000 back. The brother-in-law said: Why? I said, "That's me and your sister going on a big adventure!" The brother-in-law said: Who to deceive, don't try to rob me of pocket money.

9, three people to drink sheep soup, three bowls of 30 yuan. The three of them each paid 10 yuan to make up 30 yuan and handed it to the boss. Later, the boss said that today's discount is only 25 yuan is enough, and took out 5 yuan to ask the waiter to return it to them. The waiter secretly hid 2 yuan, and then distributed the remaining 3 yuan to the three people, each of whom was given 1 yuan. In this way, at the beginning, each person paid 10 yuan, and now returned 1 yuan, that is, 10-1 = 9, each person only spent 9 yuan, 3 people 9 yuan, 3X9 = 27 yuan + 2 yuan hidden by the waiter = 29 yuan, where did the one yuan go?

10, buddy is a rich second generation, after graduating from college, his father let him go to a friend's company for internship in order to exercise. Once the buddy went with the leader to visit the customer, the car stopped on the side of the road, asked the buddy to buy something to bring to the customer. He also told his buddies that this customer loves spicy food and usually loves to eat small snacks. Ten minutes later, the leader sitting in the car looked terrified. Only to see the brothers with two packs of Wangwang snow cakes and two cans of old pole moms with their faces full of faces, and quickly ran over...

11. Yesterday, a family of three went shopping and spent nearly 1,000 yuan. My wife checked out in front and I was breading my 2 year old son in the back. While scanning the code, the son took an Argons lollipop in his hand. My wife was ready to pay, and I said to the cashier: There's a lollipop. Cashier: Forget it. I smiled at Mimi and said to my son: Thank you aunt! The wife came next to the sentence: 1 + 1 goods, people say that lollipops are counted!

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #