1, a sister walking in the park, met a man and said: 'Beauty gives you 100 pieces, can you see your breasts?' The girl did not say a word and received 100 yuan, and then looked at the man no

1, a sister walking in the park, met a man and said: 'Beauty gives you 100 pieces, can you see your breasts?' The sister received 100 yuan without saying a word, and then looked at the man and said dismissively: Are you ready? The man smiled triumphantly and nodded his head in response, "Mm-hmm, okay, okay!" Then the girl picked up the branches on the ground and slammed the man, while smoking, she said: Really TM perverted, actually like to see me fierce!

2. Last night I took my wife to eat hot pot, because my wife and I don't eat spicy, so we both asked for a clear soup at the bottom of the pot. When I first started eating it, it tasted good, but after eating it for a while, we both felt numb in our mouths and tongues! The wife asked the waiter: Are you wrong on the pot, so numb, we can't eat. The waiter checked and said: I'm really sorry, I'll change the pot for you! This pot leaks!

3, the company power outage, take advantage of the black kicked the female boss, is secretly happy, the result suddenly came to call! The point is that the foot I kicked her didn't come back to the landlady looked at me stupidly, and I was embarrassed to die! What a self-inflicted sin!

4, Dad played mobile games is addicted, but also Krypton gold to buy ten consecutive draws. Dad asked me to charge him, and I certainly didn't want to. I said, Dad, you can't spend money on the game, just pass the time and play. Dad was immediately angry: Well, you, when I was a child, I didn't buy you which toy you wanted, and now I want a ten-even smoke and you are not willing to buy it for me, it seems that when I am old, I can't count on you! "

5) My cousin finally married herself when he was thirty years old. She has been married to her cousin-in-law for a month, and her cousin-in-law told her: Whether the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is good or not, it all depends on what her husband does, your husband and I have high emotional intelligence, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law cannot be wrong. One day, my cousin's mother-in-law made lobster noodles. Cousin is allergic to seafood can not eat, just listen to the cousin brother-in-law said: Mom, she is allergic to can not eat seafood, you don't do it in the future! After cooking, let my virtuous wife come! Cousin's violent temper now wants to kick cousin-in-law!?

6, at the end of the month, the company is going to pay wages again, and there are 350 yuan left after calculating the cost. When my wife saw it, she said to me: Yes, or we will be half of us. I thought to myself that my wife was finally generous once, and actually left me 175. As a result, the wife came over and took away 3 100 sheets, and then said: Just three of you and three of me, yes. At that time, my tears were flowing down my cheeks.

7, last night forgot to bring the key, called a lock, a few minutes later to open the lock came, stabbed a few times less than a minute the door opened, said to me 50. I handed him the money in a daze and did not relax for a moment. It wasn't until a small wind blew through and closed the door again that I was relieved.

8. When my father was a child, I was taught that everything should be rigorous and reasonable. Since then, this sentence has been deeply imprinted in my mind and has become my motto. One day my mom told me that I couldn't drink tea overnight. I didn't know the exact time of the night, so I asked her: Can I drink it at three o'clock in the afternoon when it burns at six o'clock in the morning? My mom said, "Yes." I asked again: Can I drink it at six o'clock tomorrow morning when it burns at nine o'clock in the evening? My mom said: No. I was happy and loudly retorted to her: the same boiled water for nine hours, the same storage environment, the low temperature at night is more conducive to preservation, why can one drink one can not? My mother didn't say anything at that time, I directly beat me, and while hitting, she praised me for being good at thinking, saying that she beat me purely because I was in a bad mood!

9, on the weekend to take the little nephew to go shopping, saw a beautiful girl, the little nephew ran over to greet the sister: Sister, do you have a boyfriend? The girl smiled and said: Not yet! Why are you so cute? The little nephew pointed to me, and I thought to myself, this child is still quite considerate of me. Unexpectedly, the bear child said: My uncle does not have a girlfriend. But don't look for him like this, too picky! Ice cream is not bought for me!

10, I used to drive a girlfriend's fit, accidentally hit the street lamp. The policy showed a loss of 77,000, and Ping An Insurance said the vehicle was scrapped to 77,000. The garage bid 80,000, all kinds of full of routines, I don't know how to operate. In addition, it is not my own car, and I am afraid of trouble and directly hand it over to the insurance company. Later, I asked my girlfriend to know that his car ran 9,000 kilometers, which was quite valuable.

11. Today, colleagues who have no sense of existence in the office have been called to the office by the boss to talk. When he came out, I gossiped and asked, "What did the boss tell you to do?" He shook his head mysteriously: "Nothing. I was more curious: "Say, I don't tell anyone." The goods came to the sentence: "I believe that you are a bottle-keeper, but I am afraid that other colleagues are bottle openers..."

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #