The sister-in-law scored 688 points in the college entrance examination, and the admission score of Tsinghua University was 687 points. At that time, I could spoil my sister-in-law and feel that my luck was too good! She happily sent a circle of friends

The sister-in-law scored 688 points in the college entrance examination, and the admission score of Tsinghua University was 687 points. At that time, I could spoil my sister-in-law and feel that my luck was too good! She happily sent a circle of friends: Haha, what luck am I, the admission line is 687 points, I just took the test 688 points! The father-in-law commented in the following seconds: Haha, good coincidence, my daughter also scored 688 points in the college entrance examination! At that time, the sister-in-law was stunned, and replied at the bottom: Dad, do you have any other daughters besides me?

2. When I was in the fifth grade of elementary school, the most popular TV series at that time was Shanghai Beach Icon, and every TV in every household was playing this drama. At that time, the little friends in the whole village imitated Xu Wenqiang, and in order to defeat them, I sat in the position of the eldest brother and deliberately dressed up carefully! First of all, I stole the white scarf that my mother had knitted by hand as a promise letter that my mother had given to my father. Then I put on my brother's trench coat, but there was no head oil at home, so I went to the kitchen and poured some rapeseed oil on my hand and smeared it on my head! In the end, I beat everyone and successfully became a big brother!

3, on the bench in the park, a couple sat on it and was silent for a long time. At this time, the girl did not want to be embarrassed like this, so she took the lead in opening her mouth and said to the boy, "Let's break up!" The boy was silent for half a day and asked, "Can I say one last word?" "Say it, mother-in-law's." "I can program..." "I can program with a fart, and now there are people everywhere who can program!" The boy blushed and continued, "I can program... I will become... In a fairy tale, the angel you love..."

4. Although I got a medical school diploma, I still went to work at Microsoft. On this day, appendicitis attacked, so I had to go to the hospital for surgery. I found that the outpatient clinic was my classmate, and the auxiliary was my classmate nursing my classmate. The main knife, anesthesia or his own classmates. I quickly asked for a transfer! I'm scared to think about it, it's a bunch of raiders who started reading books before the exam!

5, the old man is a real estate tycoon, after retirement often go to the park to dance square dance. Once, when dancing square dance, a big aunt came over and patted the old man's shoulder and said: Handsome man, you don't know me? The old man looked confused: Who are you? The aunt approached the old man and said: I am your classmate of Tsinghua University, your memory is really poor! Old man: If you want to talk to each other, you don't have to go around the bend. Big Mom: No, you're really my college classmate. Old man: Don't lie to you, I didn't go to college at all! I didn't expect my aunt to turn her head and leave!

6, a sister made a boyfriend some time ago, is very happy. The boyfriend is very sunny and handsome, and he is also very tall. Friends around are very envious of the girl can find this kind of boyfriend. Once when I came home, my mother smiled and couldn't close her mouth. In the evening, my mother said, "Break up." Sister: Why? The mother sighed and said: If you marry him like this, it will be a scourge on the good genes of other people's families.

7 On the third day after my cousin got married, I couldn't stand it and pretended to work overtime. In fact, he ran to play cards and came home at two or three o'clock in the night, but he did not expect that his cousin was still waiting for him to eat. The cousin is very guilty, there is such a gentle wife in the family, and he still deceives others. My cousin said: I called your unit from 6 o'clock after work, and now, every hour I will sprinkle paprika and salt into the dish. It's all 8 floors up to now, so you can explain it to me after eating.

8 Just after college, roommate Pengpeng chased after a girl in the same class, and the girl always dodged. Pengpeng saw that there was no drama, so he found another one to chase, and as a result, the woman was not satisfied, and asked Pengpeng why he abandoned her. Pengpeng asked: "Ask a computer question, if you click on a program and always prompt 'no response', what to do?" The woman said, "Finish the mission immediately." Pengpeng: "Yes, I think the same way." ”

9 Recently, the wife because the weather is relatively hot, so she cut off her long hair, and also deliberately made a mushroom head shape, after returning home, the wife asked her son: Baby, the mother's hairstyle is beautiful, isn't it?

After reading it, the son said excitedly: It looks delicious!

The wife asked with a question mark: Why do you say that it looks delicious?

Son: Ugly mushrooms are delicious, and beautiful mushrooms are poisonous!

10 This evening my mom and I were walking in the park when we saw a poor stray dog lying under a telephone pole. My mom told me to take the dog home, and I didn't dare to go up for fear of the dog biting me. Who knew that my mother said with a very firm expression: "I will never bite you." "I half-believedly reached out and hugged it, but I really didn't bite it. I asked my mom, "How do you know you're not going to bite me, it's terrible." My mother said dismissively: "What's the big deal, you're a single dog, = you two are the same kind, how can you bite you?" ” 

#Funny# #头条搞笑 #