1, my husband took three female colleagues on a business trip, I was afraid at home, so I took my father-in-law to my house to accompany me. This morning I went to wake my father-in-law up and suddenly found that his quilt was on the wall and on the wall

1, my husband took three female colleagues on a business trip, I was afraid at home, so I took my father-in-law to my house to accompany me. This morning I went to wake my father-in-law up and suddenly found blood on his quilt and on the wall. I immediately slapped his face among his men: You are waking up, you must hold on! After a while, he woke up confused, and I asked him: What the hell is wrong with you? My father-in-law said: When I went to bed last night, there was always snot flowing out, I didn't want to get up to get the paper, so I wiped it on the wall, and when I went back, I wiped it on the quilt...

2. I worked hard for 10 years without getting promoted, and as a result, a beautiful female college student became a manager for two months. I was extremely unbalanced in my heart, so I went to the boss to theorize, and as a result, he did not eat my set, and I resigned in anger. I stayed at home after losing my job and didn't look for a job again. At lunch today, my mother suddenly dropped the bowl and angrily scolded: "People in their 30s, who don't do their jobs all day, what do you say you have contributed to this family?" I bowed my head and said nothing, two lines of tears sliding from my face. For the embarrassing scene, the father sang softly next to him: "The old man does not want his children to make much contribution to the family!" The old mother slapped the father hard and roared angrily: "Who do you say is old?" ”

3, attend a friend's wedding, this bride and groom are worthy of two mouths, one is more than one. It was so eloquent that the host tried to interject several times at the wedding, but without success. Finally, the two stopped, the host gave a breath, quickly answered the call, said: What a powerful dialogue, this is a loving couple, in this family, other people can't even plug their mouths, how can they plug their legs! ”

4. Studying at Wellington College of Technology, I am about to take the college entrance examination and plan to have a good meal with my roommates. After a long discussion and did not know what to eat, a roommate said to order takeout together, and everyone agreed. But no one knew the hotel's phone number. I resolutely called the class teacher: Hey, is it a stir-fry shop opposite the school? 8 soup powders! The head didn't make a sound, but we got it as we wished.

5, early in the morning to go to work, not out of the community door a big master suddenly fell in front of my car spit blood foam in his mouth! It startled me out of a cold sweat and broke my heart. I hurriedly got out of the car, just walked to the uncle, I heard the community security shouting: OK, don't pretend, this is the people in our community! Only to see the uncle stand up with a bone, muttering in his mouth: It turned out to be his own person! Then he walked away with a healthy stride...

6, in the evening, a drunken gas came back, and the wife saw it and immediately became angry. I saw that something was going to happen, and I quickly apologized, but no matter how much I apologized, it was useless, and she breathlessly circled around the house: "Hum! I'm going to buy something expensive! "As soon as I listened, there is still a turnaround, and I can spend money to eliminate disasters!" Immediately said happily, "Good! I'll accompany you to buy! "Then, together we went to the supermarket downstairs to buy a washboard and came back!

7. After graduation, I went to work in a decoration company, and recently our company took a big order for office decoration. Yesterday, when I was working overtime, a female colleague and I had an argument over the plan. We were both red-faced, and suddenly, she took out the perfume and sprayed at me. Then sneered: Disagree with my plan today to let you go home and can't explain !!!! It's now 3 a.m., and the smell of my body hasn't gone away yet, and I'm still wandering downstairs and don't dare to go up!!!!

8. I secretly used my wife's Alipay flower shell to withdraw 700 yuan and bought a Chinese cigarette to honor my father. When my wife found out about it, she scolded me and kicked me out of the house. I wandered the streets alone and lonely, walked to a river, felt a little dirty hands, and went to wash my hands. As a result, my foot slipped and fell into the river, and I panicked, quickly wiped the mobile phone in my pocket and threw it on the shore, thinking that even if the person was washed away, the mobile phone would still be there. As a result, I found that it was because I thought too much that the water reached my knees, so I climbed slowly to the shore!

9, driving for the boss is too thrilling, last week to drive to a secluded road came a group of people stopped the car, pulled my boss out of the car and beat him, before leaving to warn him of offending people. Today, there was a group of people blocking in front of me again, and the boss looked at me and discussed with me that we would change seats and give me 100,000 yuan, and I gritted my teeth and agreed. As a result, the gang pulled the boss out of the car again, and soon there was the sound of the boss crying wolf, and when they were leaving, they said to me: This time first scrap your driver, the next time it will be you...?

10. After retiring from the State Grid Administration, the old man liked the big lottery. Early that morning, he happily came to his cousin's room and said, "You won 10,000,000 in the lottery ticket you bought two days ago!" The cousin listened to the incredulity on his face: "Dad, you are lying to me again." The old man said, "Really, don't lie to you!" The cousin asked, "What about money?" The old man said: "I redeemed the lottery ticket for you, and the money was spent for you!" I already knew you didn't believe it, you see I bought a Maserati! ”

11, friends and her husband are only children, she sent me a text message before the birth of the second child, saying that this time must be caesarean section, the smooth delivery is too painful. The next day I went to see her and asked her if the caesarean section was very painful, and she said: I will give birth before the doctor is ready. It's so smooth... In response to that sentence, give birth to a child once, and mature it twice.

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #