I was fired from an electronics factory for stealing electronic accessories, and then I went to work for a self-media company. There was a beautiful girl in our company who was planning to get a lawyer's license. Eat all day at noon

I was fired from an electronics factory for stealing electronic accessories, and then I went to work for a self-media company. There was a beautiful girl in our company who was planning to get a lawyer's license. After eating at noon all day, she sat at her desk and read hard with a book. I teased her: The competition in the legal profession is very fierce, you are so beautiful, it is better to find a good husband. The girl sighed: Alas! You don't know, that industry is more competitive!

2, the giraffe said: "Little rabbit, I wish you could know how good it is to have a long neck." No matter what is delicious, when I eat it, it will slowly pass through my long neck, and the delicious food can be enjoyed for a long time. The little white rabbit looked at him expressionlessly.　"And, in the summer, the cool water slowly flows through my long neck, it is so delicious. It's great to have a long neck! Little white rabbit, can you imagine? The little white rabbit said slowly, "Have you ever vomited?" ”

3, in the cousin's bathing center as the front desk, found that the boys in the shop have tattoos, spent more than 30,000 to get an over-the-shoulder dragon! It's outdated, but it's still particularly domineering. With a tattoo, I do some work and I go bare-chested. That time I went to my mother-in-law's house to help with the work, and I used to take off my clothes and work bare-chested. My daughter-in-law was immediately angry and gave me a big mouth. The mouth scolded: You are really getting more and more floating, and the mighty wind has come to my mother's house...

4. The salesman shouted to the passers-by in front of the pharmacy: "Look at my thick black hair, this is a miracle that took three months to prevent hair loss!" The bald old Zhang passed by: "How bald did you go before?" The salesman took off his wig and said, "Bald to the point of not having a single hair, you see, don't lie to you!" ”

5, studying at Tsinghua University, the living expenses of 5,000 a month are simply not enough for me to spend, so I have to borrow money from my roommates to eat every day. In the middle of this month, I borrowed money from a roommate again, and the roommate asked incomprehensibly: You were not like this before, why did you spend money so quickly recently? I breathed a long sigh of relief and said, "Alas, I've been sick lately, gynecological disease, the kind that can't be cured." The roommate said: Speaking of people, what gynecological disease do you have as a big man? I said: Online shopping!

6, when I was in college, I slept sweetly with my girlfriend on bunk beds, and my feelings were particularly good, but because I looked prettier than her and my figure was better than her, she was more or less jealous of me. Later, when she had a boyfriend, she was even more defensive about me, and by chance, I heard her boyfriend say bad things like I snore and grind my teeth when I slept, as a beautiful woman, I was said to be so unbearable, I was really angry, but I slept with his boyfriend to prove my innocence...

7, the company owner likes beautiful women, we know that after we dare to be angry and dare not speak. This time, the boss liked the front desk girl again, and the boss went to the front desk girl to see and asked: Beauty, where does your father work? I can go over and take care of the business. The front desk girl said happily: Really? My dad works at a funeral home. boss:......

8, the scene of the fire, a woman grabbed the fire alarm, everyone was puzzled, the woman said: "When the fire swept in, I thought that whoever rescued me I would marry whomever I wanted, this hero saved me, I want to give my life." The fire alarm looked at the woman and said, "I was desperately trying to carry you out just because I thought you were a gas canister." ”

9, some time ago to leave, I said, I am very reluctant to be friends here. As a result, the leader told me: Can they influence whether you eat or sleep? After a while you will naturally lose touch. At that time, I did not think so, and in hindsight, the leader's words were not unreasonable. Many newcomers like me who have just graduated from school and stepped into society can easily bring their own school methods and values to society, but these are actually two completely different worlds. For the old predecessors who have been groping for many years, it is just common for people to go cold.

10, a few days ago, I took a plane to go to the bathroom, pushed open the door and found a girl sitting inside, she said angrily: Why don't you knock on the door when you come in? I flatly withdrew, then knocked on the door and asked: Can I come in? Inside shouted: Roll! I don't trust women anymore.

1 My mother asked me to buy a bag, she helped me give it to the female neighbor, and also vowed: Girls like bags, I help you send, you coax again, people may agree to be your girlfriend. I believed it, bought it for my mother to send, thinking that I could start a good relationship, my mother came back with her head down and said to me: Oh, it turned out that people moved away two days ago, look at my memory. As for the bag, my mother "reluctantly" accepted it. I:???

12, want to kiss back, just entered the door mom said: "Just now the matchmaker called to say that the girl is quite satisfied with you, let me ask your attitude" I said: "I do not agree, the woman's income is higher than mine, I am afraid that there will be pressure to live together in the future" At this time, my father suddenly slapped me and said: "Are you confused, I earn more than you, in our family, have you ever seen me have status?" “

13, when I was a child, I had a lot of words, and I often laughed at myself, and I could play a palace fight play alone. The child of the aunt next door was a little autistic, never took the initiative to talk to others, the aunt asked me to go to her house to play, hoping that I could change the situation of her child, and after playing with him for an hour, I let him speak up to expectations: "Can you get out of my house quickly?" ”

14. Xueba heard the ridicule and said, "As far as you can score this, can you go to Tsinghua University?" It's impossible to go to school with us! I explained: "You don't know, I bake cold noodles very well, I can bake at the entrance of Tsinghua University, you go to school and I make a living, aren't you just together?" ”