1. When I was a child, I went to my uncle's house and slept with my uncle at night. My aunt was afraid that I was freezing, and as soon as I showed my head, my aunt would stuff me into the quilt. Finally, the aunt was furious: "Little bunny cub!

1. When I was a child, I went to my uncle's house and slept with my uncle at night. My aunt was afraid that I was freezing, and as soon as I showed my head, my aunt would stuff me into the quilt. Finally, the aunt was furious: "Little bunny cub! Why are you constantly drilling out? Why did you get a cold? I cried and said, "The sweet potatoes I ate in the afternoon stinked to death in the nest!" "My aunt also put her head in the quilt to try it, and when she came out, she vomited... A year later, it was found before it was gone. It turned out that the wife used all the money in it to buy bags and cosmetics....

2. Unable to get into the ideal university, my father spent 180,000 yuan to send me to a college. In this school, I met a strange buddy. When he didn't go to class, he would always sleep until the afternoon before getting up. I couldn't help but ask my buddies: Why did you sleep so long? Dude replied to me: Every time I wake up, I ask myself two questions in my heart, do you have money? How many bucks more? Usually this motivates you at once, and then bravely continues to sleep in order to save money for a meal. After listening to my buddies, I was silent, and since then, there has been another person in the bedroom who can't afford to pay the window!

3. The goddess of high school is going to school out of town, and I held my mobile phone in a daze for a long time at night. After much hesitation, I finally plucked up the courage to dial the number of the girl I loved. After the phone was connected, the boy was silent for half a day and said: "You have to take good care of yourself, remember to eat on time, drink more milk and eat less fried and greasy food, don't go to the street to walk around and get tired when you are injured, don't always stay up late, remember to cover the quilt when it's cold at night." "I know, your dad told me..."

4. My wife was eating today and suddenly said that she wanted a second child. I thought to myself: One is almost unable to afford, and you still want a second child? She grinded with me for half a day, and I helplessly said to her: Are you sure you really want to? The wife nodded affirmatively and said: Yes, I really want to. I held her face, looked at her, and I cried out affectionately: Mom!

5. When my wife is still cooking, my ten-year-old daughter wears a long skirt and turns around a few times and asks me: Does My father look at my shadow like a butterfly? I said: Well, like. And asked: What does the mother's shadow look like? I said: Of course like the mother of a butterfly. He also asked: Is the butterfly's mother an old butterfly? I said: The mother of a butterfly is a pupa. So I got a shovel on my head.

6. The girlfriend is very beautiful and talked about a rich second-generation boyfriend. After Valentine's Day, the girlfriend showed off the jade bracelet her boyfriend bought all day, saying that she wanted more than 100,000 pieces. A year later, her girlfriend gained twenty or thirty pounds, and her boyfriend broke up with her and wanted to get the bracelet back. The result was tragic, the bracelet could not be taken off! In order to return the bracelet girlfriend had to start losing weight, and after a few months of weight loss, she went to return the bracelet. Her boyfriend said: Don't pay it back, I just want you to lose weight, not really break up with you...

7. Go swimming in the afternoon, take advantage of the fact that the husband did not go ashore, borrow his mobile phone group "now pay off the debt all 50% off" Half an hour later, the husband received a lot of transfer news, there are one or two hundred and one or two thousand, after a while the husband came up and found that I did a good job and said that others owe our family one or two thousand you only pay half of it?!!!

8. The son of the rich boss loves to lie, the boss bought a lie detector, one day the son returned late, the rich boss asked: Where did he go? The son said: Reading books in the library. The robot slapped it. My son said: I went to see a movie with my classmates. Rich Boss: So bold, I didn't see it when I was so old. The robot gave the regal boss a slap in the face

 #Funny##Funny paragraph# #今日笑料 #