Arranging a wedding with my wife requires children from 3 to 12 years old, but I have not been able to find a suitable one. The wife was helpless: "Otherwise, we will have children and get married in a few years." direct

Arranging a wedding with my wife requires children from 3 to 12 years old, but I have not been able to find a suitable one. The wife was helpless: "Otherwise, we will have children and get married in a few years." Directly use our children as wedding angels..."

2. In high school, teachers often say in class: This is a free point. Students, you talk or I talk, come and come, come here, I will talk about it after you have finished. Your PE teacher is sick, and we're going to math in this class. Does it matter to me how many points you score? I still take my salary. When you go to college, you will be free. Look at the blackboard, see what I do, I have words on my face. This question is definitely not A, C is also very obvious, D is needless to say, so it is B.

3, in the past year, in order to save the down payment of the house, our family tightened the belt of the pants, eating can be described as "unbearable", this is not just a year, my wife and I proposed to eat something good! The wife thought about it and said: Let's add a dish today. I was moved in an instant, only to see my wife take out a bag of Fuling squeezed vegetables from the refrigerator...

4, a man on the street talks to a woman. M: "Girl, are you looking at the Porsche across the street?" Woman: "Yeah, is it yours, handsome man?" M: "No, but I'm watching too." We are so lucky, it is not convenient for the party to leave a phone? ”

5, my brother's Alipay flower shell owed 120,000 yuan, I secretly used my boyfriend's debit card to help him pay it back. My boyfriend was very angry when he found out, and he directly scolded me. I burst into tears: We've been together for so long, you're killing me. I wrapped his tablet and sprinkled, and my boyfriend shouted: I am fierce what is wrong with you, if it were not for your pure and lovely looks, the country is charming, gentle and delicate, generous and decent, slim, I would have dumped you a long time ago. After hearing this, I was particularly happy to put down his tablet.

6, the kindergarten boy gave a little girl a mouthful of lollipops. The little girl picked up the lollipop and asked, "I ate it, what if I got pregnant?" The little boy said domineeringly: "Born, we will go to kindergarten together." ”

7, on the bus, a woman with a big belly walked up to me: "Let me have a seat!" ”。 Me: "By what?" ”。 The woman straightened her stomach and said, "I'm pregnant, don't you see it?" Me: "Don't pretend." We all lose weight at the same weight loss center, and I see you often. ”

8, today my girlfriend asked me to go to her house for dinner, I was still more nervous and afraid that I would say the wrong thing, and her parents looked at me and did not speak, and finally the girlfriend broke the deadlock and shouted: I am hungry, let's eat, Dad I want to drink soup, I naturally took the bowl in her hand to help her, filled a bowl of soup and handed it over, when I looked back at her father, I left a picture in my mind that I can never forget: that is her father's hand in the air and her mother's solemn expression. I was stunned...

9, the old man and the mother-in-law climbed Mount Tai to see the sunrise, almost exhausted the old man, all the way is the steps at least 5 kilometers! Halfway up the mountainside, the old man said to his mother-in-law, "Honey, I'm tired of walking, let's go back." The mother-in-law snapped, "I didn't even say I was tired, but you said I was tired first?" They are all halfway up the mountainside, how can they give up halfway? The old man lowered his head in shame, and the mother-in-law said even more vigorously: "The body still needs to exercise more!" "The old man silently threw down his mother-in-law, because the old man really couldn't move his back!"

10, I usually take care of my daughter-in-law, reluctant to let her suffer a little! I basically packed the housework, and when she got off work, I helped her pinch her shoulders and rub her head to relieve fatigue! I often teach my son: there are two big masters in the family, and we both have to take good care of our mothers. The son nodded: Dad, I see that you are really filial to our mother

1 and girlfriend Xiaomei, go to another girlfriend Xiaoli's house to visit. The three of them were chatting happily, when suddenly, Xiaoli got up, opened the window and said: Let's open the window and say something bright. Xiaomei and I looked at each other. Xiaomei: We are good girlfriends, talk about everything, and what do you say? Xiaoli: What's the bright talk? Just now, who let go of a few stuffy farts? It stinks!

12. Early in the morning, a buddy said to me, "Have you watched the news?" The expert who came out of the sixth-level examination paper was kidnapped by the robbers, and the robbers asked them to take ten million ransoms, or else burn them with gasoline. Now that we are collecting donations, let's donate some. I said, "Well, how much do guys usually donate?" The brother said, "Depending on the situation, there are those who donate 2 liters, and there are also those who donate 10 liters..."

13, the landlord's aunt collected the rent, she said: Why is it so cold in the house? Can you sleep at night? I was overjoyed: could it be that the landlord's aunt wants to install heating? I said happily: I have to endure if I can't sleep, who makes us unable to pay the heating bill. Does auntie give us free heating? The landlord's aunt smiled and left, dropping a sentence: young people work hard to buy a house with heating in the future...

14, the mother-in-law wants to sell the old house in the suburbs that cannot be lived. But because the place is biased, it is not easy to sell, the price is high, no one wants it, and the low price is reluctant to sell! The sister-in-law comforted her and said, "It's okay, we're not in a hurry to use the money!" Meet the right re-sell! At this time, the mother-in-law came to say: "Girl, you said that if I advertise, how about buying one and getting one free?" The sister-in-law asked in confusion, "How about a gift method?" The mother-in-law said with a face of surname: "It is to buy a house and give it to you!" ”