1 girlfriend's house suddenly lost power, taking advantage of the black to kiss her, the mother-in-law whispered... Don't make a fuss... I was stunned, I obviously kissed my girlfriend, and when I left, I asked my girlfriend: I just

1 The girlfriend's house suddenly lost power, and kissed her while it was dark, and the mother-in-law whispered... Don't make a fuss... I was stunned at once, I obviously kissed my girlfriend, and when I left, I asked my girlfriend: Did I kiss you just now? The girlfriend said: Yes, what's wrong? I hurriedly said: It's all right...

2 Teacher: Why don't you wash your face every day? The breakfast dregs were still on the face.

Elementary School Student: Teacher, guess what I'm eating.

Teacher: Jam bread.

Elementary School Student: Teacher, you guessed wrong. That was eaten yesterday.

3 The school held a sports day, and Xiao Qiang's class collectively danced a "Tai Chi Sword" at the entrance ceremony, which was beautiful and very sensational.

The "Best Entry Award" was given to Xiao Qiang's class in a high-regarded manner, and the principal made a speech: It is not difficult for one person to have a single sword, what is difficult is that the whole class has a collective sword, and the sword is so neat!

4 In junior high school, the same table was a smoker, and the geography teacher was an old man. I was in a geography class, and the same table smoker came, taking advantage of the teacher's writing on the blackboard to light a cigarette, smoke, smoke spit out of the window. Once, when the same table was facing the window and smoking, the teacher turned his head, and the same table did not notice, and the smokeless nostrils did not stop. Only to see the teacher's eyes widen, stunned and said: I have smoked all my life, and I can't just smoke from one nostril, how do you do it? The same table was shocked, embarrassed to answer: I have a cold, a nostril is not open.

5 In math class today, the teacher started to be a demon again. We looked helplessly at the math teacher, alas, there was no way. The teacher said: The students are very tired in class, let me tell you a story of "Journey to the West" to relax. It is said that the master and apprentice went west and were targeted by the white bone spirit, Sun Wukong went to find food for the master, and drew a circle on the ground with a golden hoop stick, with a radius of 2 meters, asking what is the area? One of the classmates shouted: Teacher, you are enough! I don't like math classes, I don't know if you like it or not.

6 Car insurance is about to expire, and recently there have always been car insurance to call me, which is really annoying. I suddenly remembered that there was a customer a few years ago, and in less than a year, there were two major accidents. The insurance company suffered a 500,000 loss, and by the time he bought insurance the next year, he had already been blocked! It is really a characteristic insurance industry that can only earn, can not lose!

7 The mother-in-law was hit by a large truck and became a vegetative person, and the driver lost 5 million. My father-in-law immediately found me a young new mother-in-law, and the two had a son and lived a happy life! Recently, the new mother-in-law and father-in-law have been in a cold war for several days! Yesterday, my father-in-law came home from work and saw 11 apples on the coffee table, each of which took a bite. Father-in-law- suddenly understood, so he bought her an iPhone11 with the private money he had saved for a year. The new mother-in-law was stunned at first, but still caught it. At this time, the son ran out of the room. Son: "Dad, these apples are not sweet at all, I bit one, not sweet, and another bite, not sweet!" Father-in-law: "Child, don't say it, I want to be calm and calm..."

8 Before getting married, I told my wife that our family would pay a down payment and their family would pay off the mortgage. After marriage, the wife took her father-in-law and mother-in-law to a new house on the grounds that her family paid off the mortgage. Yesterday after dinner, my mother-in-law went to the toilet and stayed inside for half an hour. My father-in-law was in a hurry outside the door, and couldn't help shouting: "It's not good to go to the toilet to see the mobile phone, the light will cause constipation, and the heavy will affect the feelings of the husband and wife!" The mother-in-law said inside: "Nonsense, how can it affect our feelings?" Father-in-law: "Because you're holding my phone!" ”

9 A girl got on the plane and saw a man sitting in her seat. She checked her ticket and said politely, "Sir, are you sitting in the wrong place?" The man took out his ticket and shouted: "Look clearly, this is my seat, are you blind?" The girl looked at his ticket carefully, stopped making a sound, and stood silently beside him. After a while the plane took off, and the girl bowed her head and said to the man easily: "Sir, you are not in the wrong position, you are on the wrong plane!" There is a kind of forbearance called making you regret that it is too late, if howling can solve the problem, the donkey will have ruled the world long ago!

10 I was sleeping with my girlfriend in my arms, when I suddenly received a call from the boss: Xiao Zhang, Xiao Zhang, you don't have to go to work! I was suddenly taken aback, and wept bitterly and said: Boss, although I go to work to play games, often doze off, occasionally late, take two days off a week, and talk back to you from time to time, but I always have to say that there is nothing wrong with me, you can't fire me! The boss's impatient voice came from the phone: Don't put garlic on Lao Tzu, tomorrow is the day of your and my daughter's big day, you won't forget, right?

11 After lunch, my daughter-in-law Mei Zizi was lying on the couch watching "Celebrating the Rest of the Year", and I was forced to clean in the kitchen. While washing, the mother-in-law came and called for the door at the door, and I opened the door with a rag and accompanied her into the house. Just as I was about to file a complaint, as soon as I entered the house, I saw my wife lying on the sofa, with a towel on her forehead. Seeing us come in, she "struggled" to prop herself up and said weakly, "Mom, are you here?" ”

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