1, today and girlfriend by bus to go shopping, the car is quite crowded, I joked with my girlfriend that your underwear is exposed, many people on the car look at her more, after the end of the matter she talked to me said to me much better than you

1, today and girlfriend by bus to go shopping, the car is quite crowded, I joked with my girlfriend that your underwear is exposed, many people on the car look at her more, after the end of the matter she talked to me said to me that it is much stronger than you, even the underwear is not worn, the eyes are all shifted to me in an instant, really ugly.

2, have an independent personality, know how to take care of themselves, after the handling of things properly can enjoy life, do not often talk, because of their own suffering they have the ability to dissipate, rarely show aggression, because of the strong heart and produce a compassionate tenderness, not to be cheap words and emotions instigated, adhere to their own judgment without regret.

3, the female classmates owe me 800,000, three years do not pay back, no way I had to go to her home to ask for money, knock on the door after her husband, I said: "Brother, your daughter-in-law, I look for her." Her husband said: "It is not convenient for the untouchable to see guests today, the family is poor, and even the clothes are not worn." "He said you really wanted to go in, and I wouldn't stop you." I was immediately alert, afraid that these two goods would give me a set, and I hurried out of the door, planning to wait for the rabbit, not believing that she would not go out.

4, girlfriend: "Let's break up, you don't love me at all!" Dumb: "I love you, don't break up okay!" Girlfriend: "Well, I ask you three questions, and if you can answer each question within 5 seconds, it proves that you love me, so you won't break up!" Dumb: "Good! Girlfriend: "When was the first time we met, 5, 4..." Dumb: "August 25, 2015 at 3:20 p.m.!" Girlfriend: "What did I wear that time, 5, 4..." Girlfriend: "What's 3651×4966?" 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 time to go, break up! ”

5. Jun returned to the bedroom with a smile on his face, and the crowd asked, "Why are you so happy?" Answered: "I finally have a relationship with my girlfriend who has been in love for three years!" The crowd rose up and asked for details, but Jun could not suppress his inner excitement and loudly announced, "I have finally taken her hand!!!! The crowd was in an uproar.

6, the weather is hot recently, in order to save money do not turn on the air conditioning, so the boyfriend only wears a panties at home. Once when I opened the door and was bumped by a neighbor, I felt very embarrassed, so I said to him sadly: "Don't wear a pair of underwear to dangle around, at least wear something??? "The boyfriend obediently went back to the house. Within two minutes, I put on a pair of socks on my feet and shook back.........

7, recently my mother is always nervous, some words can not be understood at all. At dinner, my mother said to my father: Husband, my girlfriend has a problem recently, always love to wear gloves, this is not the season to wear gloves indoors, yesterday I found that she did not wear, guess what? Dad asked confusedly: Why? Then I saw my mother stretch out her bare hand and say to my father: Because his husband bought her a diamond ring!

8, thirty years old I finally got married today, when I and the bride walked into the marriage hall together, tears have been held in the eye sockets, the celebrant: groom, at this sacred moment do not know what you have to say to the bride in your heart. I picked up the microphone handed by the celebrant with trembling hands, turned to the audience and said: After all these years, my most excited thing is that my wife can finally speak.

9. Colleagues are in the third grade. It rained last night, and I was afraid that my colleagues would wear a winter school uniform for the baby today. Sending the baby to the school gate found that the huge school only had its own baby wearing a winter uniform. The heart was very worried, and at this moment, the baby turned back to her and asked: Mom, you say I am embarrassed, don't you?

10, the brother-in-law is a sanitation worker, cleaning near the pedestrian street. A few days ago, my brother-in-law picked up an iPhone11, and no one came looking for him after waiting for a while. After that, the brother-in-law found that there was a note attached to the phone case: "If my mobile phone falls off one day, please return it, there is a heavy thank you, my number: 139 ..." The brother-in-law immediately used this mobile phone to call, but the prompt was in the call. Then I played for two days in a row, and each time I was on the phone... Today my brother-in-law drank and talked to me about this, I didn't speak, I seemed to understand something!

11. After lunch, my daughter-in-law Mei Zizi was lying on the sofa watching "Celebrating the Rest of the Year", and I was forced to clean in the kitchen. While washing, the mother-in-law came and called for the door at the door, and I opened the door with a rag and accompanied her into the house. Just as I was about to file a complaint, as soon as I entered the house, I saw my wife lying on the sofa, with a towel on her forehead. Seeing us come in, she "struggled" to prop herself up and said weakly, "Mom, are you here?" ”

12 A door-to-door salesman selling vacuum cleaners comes to the first house of a new building. He knocked on the door and a very patient lady came to open the door. Before she could speak, he ran into the house and poured a bucket of cow dung he had brought onto the blanket. He said, "Madam, if this vacuum cleaner doesn't miraculously suck these cow dung clean, I'll eat them clean." She turned to face him and said triumphantly, "Are you going to add some ketchup to them?" The salesman asked incomprehensibly, "Why are you asking this?" She said, "We just moved in and the electricity wasn't working yet." ”

13. Shadow puppetry a thousand years ago was an elegant art that could only be enjoyed by the nobles of Wang Sun. A vast sea of characters, fully configured stage props, cumbersome and meticulous supporting equipment, rich and extensive plot content. Above the square inch of white silk, the emperors will appear one after another, narrating the rise and fall of the dynasties. The singing voice is beautiful, the performance is moving, and it is worthy of being a world-renowned national treasure

14, once self-study, almost the whole class is sleeping, the patrol teacher came, only to hear the class leader on the podium said in a serious voice: "Let us close our eyes, calm down, and listen to the inner voice in the most comfortable posture." "Too TM witty!