The smarter a person is, the less likely they are to get too close to their relatives, for the simple reason
In China, during the New Year, it is inevitable to visit relatives' homes and pay respects to the New Year, which is also the traditional culture handed down in our country. Psychologists point out that it is best not to get too close to relatives, let's look at the psychological analysis.
In the past, relatives often moved around to maintain a family relationship, which was also the embodiment of our country's culture.
In modern society, with the continuous development of the times and the change of new and old things, some clan cultures have begun to decline. What is emerging now is individualism, which also reflects the demands of people's development in this era.
People in modern society are under tremendous pressure to live and work, and their daily time and energy have been exhausted in these aspects, and they have been tired of coping with and maintaining some interpersonal relationships.
Many people have given up a lot of social activities in order to survive, including dealings with relatives. Because they find that many times getting too close to relatives will bring more trouble to themselves.
Human nature is jealous, and most people have the psychology of comparison and jealousy in their hearts, which is actually a normal psychology. Especially among relatives, this psychology is more pronounced.
Sometimes I even feel that my relationship with my relatives is not as good as that of an ordinary friend. In fact, it is normal for people to have jealousy or comparison, and almost everyone has experienced such a psychological state.
If you want to trace back to the origin, you can go back to the primitive human period, the instinctive response of human beings to improve the survival rate.
At that time, the resources of primitive society were very limited, and the amount of resources that individuals could grasp would directly affect their own survival time. So when you see that other people have more resources, you naturally develop this resistance and start to feel anxious.
Once anxiety arises in the heart, it is necessary to vent these emotions in order to eliminate these negative emotions, which is also the self-defense mechanism theory proposed by the famous psychologist Floy.
He said in the theory that human beings tend to distort the facts in their minds after they have negative emotions, so that some emotions that are inconsistent with reality will be generated and projected on others.
Just like human kinship, people project these emotions directly onto relatives. Seeing that other relatives are living better than themselves, their hearts will be dissatisfied and anxious, so they will begin to become jealous.
It is also affected by blood relations that they will be more concerned about the comparison between relatives and themselves, more likely to produce jealousy, the heart of comparison is getting heavier, and they will constantly compare themselves with relatives.
For example, during the New Year, relatives will ask each other how much money they earn when they meet each other. How about work or not looking for someone. There are also topics such as buying a house and buying a car, all of which are to provide material for each other's comparison.
If you do better than them, you indirectly offend these relatives, their self-esteem is frustrated, they will keep their distance from you and become indifferent. So the smarter the person, the more repulsive they are to getting too close to their relatives.
Such relatives don't get too close to them because they haven't really cared about you, they ask about your daily routine, just to inquire about the situation.
In fact, seemingly enthusiastic greetings, in fact, they do not want to live better than them, and they do not treat themselves sincerely from the heart. So such relatives can not move around and communicate, and there is no benefit to interacting with them at all.
Remember a sentence, in all the relatives, only the parents are the ones who really want to live well, and few of the rest of the relatives really want themselves to be good, and even see that they are not satisfied, they will be happy and say bad things behind their backs.
These are relatives with ordinary relations, and they do not have to come and go in the future. In modern society, anyone who has a little relationship is a relative. In this era, people's interactions in society rely on human feelings and relationships, and only with relationships can there be connections.
As a result, many people even have to climb relatives who can't hit the eight rods. Even if they are not familiar with each other, as long as they are related to each other, they dare to reach out for benefits or ask for help.
These relatives not only dare to reach out, but if they are not satisfied, they will morally kidnap you. Claiming to be your relatives, they will sternly accuse you of "all relatives, what's wrong with helping?" "Even relatives refuse to help, and look down on people."
Sometimes when I go home for the New Year, my relatives come to a big gang. A large family of people who want to inquire about you, lack a sense of boundaries, and satisfy their curiosity under the banner of relatives being good for you.
Employ people in front, do not use people in the back. They will only come to you when they need you, borrow money, run errands, and so on. Lend them money, and paying it back becomes a problem.
Once you have something you need help with, they avoid it. Therefore, the interaction between relatives is a science, and we must remember that most relatives cannot send charcoal in the snow, but they can fall into the well.
Therefore, some relatives do not need to maintain, too close will add to their own troubles.
