My wife, dressed in her newly purchased clothes, asked me, "Does it look good?" "Looks good, it's good for you!" My wife gave me a slap on the face, and I said, "Actually, it's not particularly good-looking." "The wife is one again

My wife, dressed in her newly purchased clothes, asked me, "Does it look good?" "Looks good, it's good for you!" My wife gave me a slap on the face, and I said, "Actually, it's not particularly good-looking." My wife slapped me again, and I asked, "You tell me how to answer!" My wife touched my face: "Does it make sense to ask so much?" I just want to hit you!

2, the wife asked the husband who was a manager: "Why did you come home so lately?" Husband: "The company has been busy lately!" Wife: "Busy with what?" Husband: "Busy working on a new book!" "The wife slaps it over!" Husband: "Why did you hit me?" Wife: "Did you hook up with your secretary?" "Husband:"

3, accompany the wife to the hospital to do B ultrasound, an intern to do the examination. After watching it for half a day, I said it was a freak! My wife and I were about to cry. At this time, an old doctor walked in, slapped the round round and said, "These are twins!" ”

4, the child went to the grandfather's house to visit the door, the grandfather let the grandson kiss his own face, kissed the first grandfather said no sound and kissed again. The child kissed it a second time, and Grandpa still couldn't say anything. The child slapped him hard this time and asked, "Does this echo sound?" Does it ring? ”

5. On the last day of the third year of high school, the brother-in-law rushed into the classroom, kicked over the teacher, held up the book and roared: Students, we are finally liberated, let this evil book go to hell! The teacher climbed up and slapped the brother-in-law's face: How old are you? The brother-in-law said: Senior year! The teacher said: You are in your third year of high school, how many meanings do you mean when you come to tear books in our first year of high school?

6, on a business trip to the hotel to encounter a round of rooms, the daughter-in-law a strong shout me section chief, is embarrassed, suddenly, they pressed me on the ground, the second goods daughter-in-law shouted while taking out the marriage certificate, ID card said: Your fate is in my hands, know how to do it, less trouble me in the future. It's really speechless.

7, on a business trip to the hotel to meet the rounds, the daughter-in-law shouted at me section chief, when I was embarrassed, suddenly, they pressed me to the ground, the second daughter-in-law shouted while pulling out the marriage certificate, the ID card said: Your fate is in my hands, know how to do it, less trouble me in the future. It's really speechless!

8, some time ago, the abbot sent a photo of a Chevrolet car in the circle of friends, with the text: sad ah sad! Sorrow, sorrow! The friend was very surprised, and asked him in the comment area: what is the worry about such a good car! The abbot sent a WeChat message to a friend and said: You are afraid that you don't know, this is a car I specially rented, ready to go home for the New Year to save face, 1,000 yuan a day, originally only planned to rent for three days, the result has now been rented for more than thirty days! It's better to buy a car! My friend said: No wonder!

9, as soon as I drank, my wife let me kneel on the keyboard, and one kneel was a whole night. At night, the old man called me to drink, I did not dare, my knees are still faintly sore! I said, "Dad, no, I don't want to kneel anymore!" The old man took a bunch of keyboards and roared at me: "The same person who has fallen into the end of the world, why are you so stupid?" Won't you crush it first?

10, the second day of the New Year to go to the old man to pay respects to the new year, the sister-in-law's current boyfriend also came to visit the New Year. At the wine table, the sister-in-law's boyfriend actually got into a bar with me and poured me unconscious. When I woke up at night, my husband told me, "Next year, you will come here in the third year of the first year, so as not to meet him and shame him!" ”

1 The elderly man, who has been single for many years, married a divorced woman with children in order to pass on the inheritance. During that long vacation, the old man drove a BMW with his wife and children to the beach to play. After a while, the old man found the child scraping his car with stones. The old man shouted, "Little girl, if you scratch it, you have to pay compensation, whose child is so ignorant?" The little daughter-in-law whispered, "Obviously it's our daughter-in-law, why don't you pretend not to know?" The old man replied, "To admit that she is our daughter-in-law is to admit that our family has no tutor!"

12, the abbot was diagnosed with terminal cancer, before dying, he wanted to send a letter to the new lover of the year. The waiter told him that the courier cost 20 yuan, and the slow one only cost 5 yuan. Because the package was not in a hurry, the abbot quipped, "This package can be delivered in my lifetime, and it will do." The waiter looked at the person for a while, and then said, "Then I suggest you send 20 yuan." ”

13. The abbot's female disciple got married this year, and the abbot was invited to the wedding. Watching his female disciple get on the wedding car and leave, the abbot stood motionless and quiet, the car slowly walked away, and the abbot was still watching... After a long time, the eldest disciple walked over to the abbot and smiled: "Master, it hurts that the little cotton jacket has been taken away by the wolf!" The abbot turned his head and glanced at the eldest disciple: I am happy that the little cotton jacket was taken away by the wolf, but my own pig does not even arch back a cabbage, which hurts my heart!

14, the abbot took a fancy to the beautiful single lady of the dry cleaner, but did not act for a long time. On this day, the abbot sent his most precious eight treasure robes to dry cleaning, and the result was that they were washed. The hostess said to pay compensation, and the abbot felt that the money was too small, and went to make trouble several times in a row. Finally, the hostess asked: What do you really want? Abbot: I have inquired, you have no object, I don't want you to lose money, I just want to be the boss, I don't want a penny dowry! Before the lady could speak, the lady's mother said, "Yes, I promised for my daughter!"