1 The local tycoon boss went to the countryside for field investigation, and the local tycoon boss asked the cropper: "Uncle, has Moutai ever drunk?" The cropper said, "Drunk! The local tycoon boss asked again: "Have you eaten bird's nest and shark fin soup?"

1 The local tycoon boss went to the countryside for field investigation, and the local tycoon boss asked the farmer: "Uncle, has Maotai drunk?" The cropper said, "Drunk! The local tycoon boss asked again: "Have you eaten bird's nest and shark fin soup?" The farmer said, "Eaten! The local tycoon boss was surprised when he heard it: "Your life here is not bad!" The cropper smiled and said, "That's right, they say those things are fake!" ”

2 Every night after work I take the subway home. But every time I take the subway home, I will feel great heartache and lament what the quality of people is now! Every time, someone calls loudly, without concealment; some people play popular songs and revel in them; and the most hateful thing is that there are couples who have no one to make love, completely disregarding the feelings of us single dogs. Seeing this, where am I still in the mood to eat my stinky tofu!

3 The female supervisor suddenly confessed to me, and I immediately gave her a Hermès shoulder bag. This afternoon she said to me, "Brother Zhang, I want to eat strawberries!" "I quickly ran downstairs to the fruit shop and bought a box of strawberries. When I came back and saw her on the phone with her back to me, I was trying to call her, but I heard her say to the phone, "Husband, what do you want to eat besides strawberries?" It's okay, don't spend my money, I let that stupid self buy! ”

4 In the event of a torrential rain, I did not bring an umbrella, and then a phone call came. When I saw it, my wife beat me, and I thought that I was still arguing at noon, and I began to care about me at this time. As soon as I answered, I heard my wife say, "Where is my husband?" I said softly, "I'm almost home, is there anything wrong?" The wife said: "It's okay, just call you to make you thunder..." Suddenly the wife stopped talking, and then called to show shutdown...

5 Played a few games of Genting Game and found that the revision was too powerful. Played two rounds completely without understanding, each round is a countdown brother. After quitting the game, I was hungry and got a little hot pot. He was going to eat with his roommate, but he went on a date with his girlfriend. I was the only one who ate it, and I ate a lot of leftovers, and my brain pumped the leftover hot pot soup into the toilet and blocked it. Vegetable leaf balls and small sausages were everywhere, so I had to take the chopsticks and crouch in front of the toilet to fish and clip. At this time, the roommate just came back: "Eat hot pot tonight?" "Yes" I turned my head and found my roommate looking at me with a shocked face!

6 After two years of business travel, I finally came home, and when I entered the door and saw my 6-year-old son playing, I excitedly wrapped it up and kissed it. I suddenly noticed that there was a smell on my son's body, a special and unpleasant smell. I asked the child: Baby, why does it smell bad? I didn't think that the little baby cried directly, which was very puzzling. I asked: Baby, Daddy didn't beat you and blame you, what are you crying! The child answered: Dad, I am expired!

#Funny##搞笑段子 #