1, last night, the wife accompanied the sister-in-law to go on a blind date, this time failed again. As soon as my wife came back, she kept scolding, and from her scolding, I finally understood the reason for the failure of the blind date.

1, last night, the wife accompanied the sister-in-law to go on a blind date, this time failed again. As soon as my wife came back, she kept scolding, and from her scolding, I finally understood the reason for the failure of the blind date. It turned out that the man hated that the sister-in-law was too beautiful and had a good figure, and he was worried that one day the grass would be green on his head. "Alas..." My wife sighed, looked at me and said, "Now what is this world, even pigs have begun to be picky eaters, is it that the cabbage that has been raised for more than twenty years has been smashed in the hand?" ”

2, I am a very humane boss, with good things will often be shared with employees. Today the customer gave me a packet of coffee, and I said to the staff: "This is Roman coffee, the purest taste, let's try it." After they finished drinking, I asked, "How does it feel?" Employee: "Sure enough, it is not comparable to inferior instant coffee, refreshed." I laughed and said, "Since everyone is not sleepy, let's work overtime until 12 o'clock tonight!" ”

3, my husband usually likes to eat walnuts, that day I bought a few pounds with my wife to send. The old man had practiced martial arts when he was young, and when he slapped the walnut with his hand, it shattered. He smiled and said to me: You still use a hammer, you see I can do it with my hands! I was confused for a moment, and here came the sentence: The difference between people and animals drunk is that people use tools! Now, the old man has not spoken to me for three months...

4, and the female manager often work overtime, yesterday she confessed to me, and then took me to see the parents. Seeing the female manager's father, that is, our chairman, I quickly greeted: Hello uncle! The chairman took my hand and said: Don't call uncle, call the old man! I said shyly: Old man. The chairman is very happy: Oh, in the future, you are my son-in-law, I will introduce you to you, your object! What's going on here, am I not your son-in-law?

5. The leader gave me two Chinese cigarettes, and I took them to the old man's house as a guest. As soon as I got to the door, I heard my mother-in-law scream and say, "Unfortunately, three of the pots I just made have fallen." At this moment, the voice of the wife's sister came: "Dirty, or throw it away." Mother-in-law: "No, don't waste it, just wipe it." "When I entered the house, it was time to eat, and a large plate of pots was placed in the middle of the table. My mother-in-law sandwiched three into my bowl, and she was really enthusiastic.

6. After marrying my wife, we have to go out for a honeymoon for a month. When I went to Zhangjiajie to play, my wife asked me to accompany her to the Zhangjiajie Grand Canyon bungee jump. I was afraid of heights since I was a child, and I didn't want to go. Then my wife was reluctant and said, "If you don't go, you'll cross me out of your household registration book." I said: I really can't jump, if I do, I'm afraid my name will have to be crossed out of the hukou book.

7, in the evening, a good girlfriend of the wife came to the house to drink, I came to be a guest, the wife saw that there was no wine, so she went downstairs to buy wine. My wife's girlfriend, blushing, walked to my back and supported my shoulder and asked: You didn't choose me so much, but did you choose her hotly? I looked at the mobile phone that my wife forgot to bring at the dinner table, and said coldly: You proved with your actions that my original choice was right!

8, me: "Dad, I rear-ended a Bentley, the owner told me to lose 100,000." Dad: "Loser, I don't have any money to pay you." Me: "I know, so I smashed the car, and she asked me to lose 2 million." Dad: "How can I afford to lose 2 million, let's break off the father-son relationship." Me: "Dad, I'm joking with you, in fact, I scored 200 points on the college entrance examination, are you telling you that the score is better now?"

9. Lao Pang received a call from an online loan collection yesterday and tirelessly called him. Old Pang then told her: You made a mistake, I am not the person you are looking for. But she was still very insistent, from noon to night, Lao Pang had to shut down. The call came again this morning: Sorry, I made a mistake, you really aren't the one I'm looking for! Lao Pang: What is the use of your apologies now, yesterday because of the shutdown, kneeling on the washboard for one night!

10, after dinner to go to the colleague's house to play, as soon as I entered the door and saw that my colleague was practicing a word horse, I smiled and asked him if he was such an adult and this hobby? Colleague grievances back: Since my daughter signed up for a dance class, every day when she comes home, she has to let me learn from her, I cry if I don't learn, I can't practice well, she beat me, think I'm stupid! Don't you say, since practicing this, my waist disc has been cured, remember the last time our company talent show? I took the first place, not to say I continued to practice...

11. The son of a good brother is celebrating his sixth birthday today, so let's take the opportunity to get together. I bought a few Ultramans as toys for my children, and when I entered the house, I found that his children were actually watching Journey to the West. When the child saw me, he said to me: Uncle, can you call me Sun Wukong? I asked strangely: Why? The child said, "You'll know when you shout." I didn't care and shouted: Sun Wukong! This little broken child actually replied: Grandpa is here!

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #