The company has a new young woman, good figure, beautiful looks, full of charm, I heard that the divorce was not long ago. I took a fancy to her at first sight, chased her for three weeks, and she finally agreed to be my girlfriend

The company has a new young woman, good figure, beautiful looks, full of charm, I heard that the divorce was not long ago. I took a fancy to her at first sight, chased her for three weeks, and she finally agreed to be my girlfriend. Yesterday and my girlfriend went shopping, on the road met a man, looking very obscene, he stared at us both, saw his dirty eyes, I was suddenly angry, shouted at him, look at your sister! Unexpectedly, at this time, a scene against the sky appeared, and my girlfriend's eyes lit up and she shouted: Brother! How do you come shopping, my God, it turned out to be her brother, this is really a big water washed away the Dragon King Temple, my face brushed red, my girlfriend's brother patted me on the shoulder, smiled and said, to their girlfriend so tight, good, I appreciate you! After saying goodbye to her, when I got to my house, I watched horror movies with my proposed girlfriend, and of course I was happy to watch horror movies with her. A film has not been finished, bang bang, heard someone knocking on the door, a look at the girlfriend girlfriend, I called her to watch a horror movie with us, after the movie, her girlfriend paled and said that she was scared to see it, tonight I must have my girlfriend sleep with her. I sighed, I am doing my own evil, I can't live! Hang as high as Haman!

2. I felt that the salary of the electronics factory was too low, so I resigned and went to work for a listed group. When my brother went to work one day, I found that my colleagues called a young female colleague XiaoYi. I was surprised, and even worse, even the general manager called her aunt. I thought to myself that if she was really the boss's aunt, I had always been respectful in front of her. Until one day, I saw her information in the personnel department and found out that her name was Xiao Yi!

3. The brother-in-law went on a blind date, each other was quite satisfied, after the meal the two walked out of the restaurant, suddenly a cold wind blew, the girl sneezed several times in a row. The girl looked at the clothes handed over by her brother-in-law and said with embarrassment: "This is not good." The brother-in-law smiled and said, "It's all right, you take it!" The girl said, "Then I'm not welcome." Then he took it and sniffled and said, "Thank you, how do you know I didn't bring a tissue, you're so nice." The brother-in-law took the snot-stained clothes and stood in the cold wind in a circle.

4. After the local tycoon boss failed to start a business, he used the remaining funds to buy a Bentley Running Didi. That night, the local tycoon boss pulled a total of 5 social youths and arrived at the destination for 125 yuan. A few said: No money, you look at it! The local tycoon boss saw that he had encountered a rogue, thinking that more was better than less, and drove away. When I went home, I found that there was a lottery ticket on the seat that had not been opened, and when the local tycoon boss took this lottery ticket to collect the prize at home, he found that he had actually won the lottery! The local tycoon boss took this hard-won 2 million to buy a more expensive Rolls-Royce Run Didi!

5. My sister is a shopaholic who can't stop buying things when she visits Taobao. Last month, my sister spent 2W online shopping, and I was not happy to say two words to her. My sister said, "You'll regret it when I'm thrifty!" The morning before yesterday, after I went to the toilet, my sister yelled: You have a mine at home, pull a with five squares of paper, and pull once a day in the future, and only one square of paper at a time. At noon yesterday, I was just about to take the second steamed bun, and my sister yelled again: "Know how to be frugal, eat one more meal, three meals a day, a year is 1098, equivalent to 450 pieces."

6. After the rich man dies, the angel summons his soul: you often help the poor before you die, and God allows you to go to heaven to meet with your wife! The rich man was shocked: There is my wife, it is hell, you still let me go to hell! The angel nodded and allowed! In the blink of an eye, the rich man found his wife nearby, so he scolded the angel: Didn't you say that you wanted me to go to hell? Angel: You also said that having your wife here is hell for you?

7. A good man caught a turtle and wanted to eat it, but he was hindered by being a good man, so he put an iron plate on the boiling pot and let the turtle climb over. "Whether it is life or death, all heaven is predestined, if you can climb through, then your life should not be extinguished, if you fall on the way, Hugh blames the good man for breaking the vows and opening the meat." The little turtle endured the high temperature and climbed over, which surprised people, looked at the east and west, reached out and grabbed the little turtle, and said: "Little turtle, you are the best, good, let's try again!" Lies can be repeated, shamelessness has no limits! Dedicated to people who speak nicely, but don't keep their word!

8. Take your girlfriend to eat buffet, I heard that if you don't eat seafood, you can't eat back the cost. This is not, today's rest, I took my girlfriend to eat buffet, a person ate 4 pounds of kelp... From the boss's surprised eyes, I could feel his desperate mood. I guess everyone eats like me, he has to die, right? I don't know why my girlfriend broke up with me after I came back.

9. I always felt that I was a child picked up by my parents. In recent days, it has been raining, and the temperature has dropped suddenly, and it has become colder and colder. When I got up in the morning for breakfast, my mother asked me: Now that it's day, are you wearing autumn pants? I said: No wear. My mother said: I and your father have raised you so hard, provided you with so many years of study, it is difficult to graduate and find a job, people stop freezing!

10. After winning the two-color request of 8.5 million, I went to the bar with a few friends Hi, when playing the game, I lost, and was punished to go to the side table to ask for a little brother's V letter. The handsome little brother glanced at me and fluently reported a string of numbers. He must have had a good feeling for me so crisply, and my heart was beautiful. But I didn't remember the number clearly, so I said: Handsome guy report it again. The brother was stunned for 3 seconds before he said: I said blindly, I forgot.

11. At night, I was watching TV with my father, and my father suddenly jumped out and said: "What are you young people doing now, you can beat children at every turn!" "I said I didn't get beaten up when I was a kid. Dad said calmly: "There were objective reasons at that time, but now it is different!" I asked him what the objective reason, my father took up the teacup, the eyes of the grumbling: "When you lived in the bungalow, you howled, the neighbors heard it and rushed over to persuade him, the adults stopped with the trend, both the deterrent effect, but also will not really cause harm, but also do not fall into the face of adults, now they all live in the building, sound insulation is too good." ”